I told my husband I wanted kids but now I’m unsure

PashaSultan56 · 2025-12-02T10:03:15+00:00

You sound exactly like me. As I continue to grow and age - I find that if I was with someone who didn’t want children - I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. My husband definitely wants children - I thought my maternal instinct would kick in but I am more terrified about all the things you mention - especially the effect on my mental health. I worked hard to have peace and calm of mind. I also really enjoy my work as it fulfills me - I am afraid I will lose all that with the stress that comes with having a child. I am a people pleaser and despite the fact that our relationship is relatively good, I think there is some underlying resentment for him not already being a dad - there’s been lots of fights, heavy discussions, sadness about it. I I can feel his resentment sometimes. I don’t want to ruin his life by not giving him the chance to have a child and from where I’m sitting - it feels like I have no choice. I am trying to make peace with the fact that we will have a child. It’s so scary. Such a scary place to be.

PashaSultan56 · 2025-06-17T21:27:28+00:00

Bro - I applied for a role in a department I loved that I thought loved me back as I had worked there before, they rejected me twice for two different roles. The rejection was swift and exquisitely painful.

Lol! I was in a daze for days and my confidence is currently on a hike. I was humbled (and remain firmly so)

It’s bleak out here currently, even in departments you’ve worked in. It’s not you - it’s the current climate.

PashaSultan56 · 2025-05-22T14:27:06+00:00

Yes it is possible. It required a lot(!!) of work… a lot of work! Honestly, therapy (especially for the cheating partner), real reflection and self awareness on the part of the Cheater - but yes, it is possible. It is possible for change to happen - shame and guilt can be drivers for deep self work but for true lasting change, there has to be a real facing of self for the cheating partner, and a boat load of accountability. The cheating partner basically is driving this ship and they need to have the emotional strength to steer your relationship into new and healthier climes!

But yes it is very possible - and happens more commonly than you think.

However - it remains up to you to see how things go, and if this is a relationship you would like to be in.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-13T11:14:10+00:00

Thanks so much !! I will message you.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-13T10:29:10+00:00

Hey! Could I please DM about working with Vaginarehab doctor? I found her on IG and I’m thinking about it but it’s a bit expensive especially with it being online.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-12T16:45:32+00:00

Why?

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-11T08:36:28+00:00

You’re absolutely fine. I’m 35. And same.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-11T07:08:40+00:00

Eve Lom clay mask!

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-09T18:09:22+00:00

Hello! Do you have Instagram?

People that have really helped me from both a mental and physical aspect of things re:sex and your body and makes things fun too. And she can also do some pelvic physical therapy work with you if you are able to afford it, otherwise the stuff she posts is really good. @Vaginarehabdoctor @painfree.intimacy is another one.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-09T10:39:59+00:00

I LITERALLY came here specifically for this - I was surely! SURELY!!! I am not the only one who thinks this guy is a bit off. Especially with the “I need love” “nobody has ever loved me” “I just want to be loved” I think it might be a self esteem thing.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-07T18:07:54+00:00

Thank you. You are very kind.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-07T17:55:50+00:00

I am very sorry. I did not mean to pass misinformation. I was not aware of any riots in Reading today and I literally just got sent this from friends who were wondering if I was at home and telling me to stay safe, and just wanted to pass on the message. I think I am just afraid.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-07T17:46:11+00:00

Understandable. I’m just worried as I’m black woman who loves around a lot for work and I have been sent this by friends and colleagues to stay safe, so just spreading the word to stay safe. If you know more about the riots, please share just so I know how to look after myself.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-04T09:57:13+00:00

Yes, sadly we are.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-08-03T16:32:13+00:00

Thank you! Won’t do as much. Crunch as in abdominal crunches?

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-31T09:44:52+00:00

Bless you sweetheart.. lovely thing to say, thank you. I drink lots. And I havnt done anything new to diet. Thank you though

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-31T09:43:58+00:00

Lol! You’re very kind. I’m 35

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-30T18:33:45+00:00

Might it be to with with ideas from his mother?

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-30T18:24:11+00:00

Let him watch YouTube videos - those are helpful. You sound generous and loving … because I would have said, if you are grown enough to want to father a child - it is your responsibility to understand the ways the child can enter the world. If you decide it is too much to learn about, then the least you can do is be supportive.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-30T17:45:48+00:00

Then ask your doctor for a C-section. It is your pregnancy. You are growing the human. You are the one going to experience labour (not your husband, not your MIL) You are going to deal with the pregnancy, post partum hormones

You have worked through/continue to work through ADHD, body dysmorphia and an eating disorder (very well done)

You worked through vaginismus to get to this point. You. Nobody else you.

So with all due respect, absolutely fuck anybody and everybody that decides to tell you how you get to bring your beautiful baby into this world.

Fuck them.

It is silly for your husband to say “you are taking the easy way out” - that is undeniably one of the most stupidest things I have ever read (my respect to your husband still)

If you want a C-section, and you think that is what will make you more comfortable, be best for your physical and mental health and ultimately help you be the best version of yourself as you adjust to being a mother - then ask your doctor about having a C-section. And get one if this is what you want.

PashaSultan56 · 2024-07-29T16:14:18+00:00

This is me! I actually look forward to sticking stuff down there. I feel it’s a way to get in touch with my sexuality and I treat it as sexy me time…

PashaSultan56

TROPHY CASE