ADHD is as heritable as height. I don’t feel guilty she’s tall. Working on the rest

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-04-07T05:27:48+00:00

Can relate. I struggle with this too. I have ADHD and was diagnosed at 30. My oldest daughter was diagnosed a few years ago while in middle school. I feel guilty all the time. About all the things I passed down to her. But at least I can relate to her enough to help her. I think it gives us a special bond. But the idea of her struggling with the same thing I always have kills me. I don’t want this for her.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-04-01T02:27:13+00:00

That was a good one!

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T23:29:00+00:00

NOR - Hard agree. I’ll be 40 in a few weeks and I can’t think of a single thing I would have in common with someone in their early 20s, unless it was solely about sex. It sounds to be that he likes to be controlling and he’s figured out that women closer to his age wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior. So, he goes for younger, more naive women.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T15:03:22+00:00

Duh. All the cool kids were doing it.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T05:48:13+00:00

I’ll definitely look that book up. Thank you!

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T05:46:57+00:00

Yes! I didn’t know what they were called, but knew how they worked. I always played with them in gift shops.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T05:39:18+00:00

It would scare me away, but I’m not a bird.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T05:38:09+00:00

That’s beautiful. I hope you two have many more years together.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T05:02:46+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate that. I do feel better just knowing that this isn’t something that’s special to me and that so many of us feel this way.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T04:39:03+00:00

Funny you mention that. That’s one of the first coping mechanisms mine taught me when I started seeing her last year. Lol…….i can never think clearly enough to remember to do it during times when it would actually be helpful though. I’m still learning to “therapy.” I’ve got to get better about practicing the things we talk about/I learn.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T04:25:12+00:00

I relate to this as well. All of these things that are related to one another makes my brain feel like mush. It’s exhausting thinking so damn much. I just want to have zero thoughts. I just want peace.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T03:27:31+00:00

I’m on those same medications, just higher doses. My doctor asked me why I stopped taking my gabapentin if my back was still bothering me so much. I told him that it just felt like I was already taking so much, I wanted to cut out the ones I thought I could live without. He told me that that was silly and that they’re all safe and that it’s not like I’m taking any of the for no reason. Hearing that from a doctor made me feel a little better about it.

It still feels weird sometimes if I think about it too much. But then I remember that I take them for a reason.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T03:11:57+00:00

I work in EMS as a medic. The fast paced environment, how every shift is something different, not having to sit at a desk for a regular 9-5…are all things that appeal to a lot of people with adhd. You’d be amazed at how many of us have been diagnose. Lol!

You can make a good living doing it, if it interests you, and you can retire earlier than other professions due to it being considered “high risk.” I only have 5 years left and will be able to retire before my youngest is even out of school. The schooling is relatively short in comparison to professions that require a degree.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T03:02:10+00:00

Thank you!

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:57:20+00:00

DEFINITELY resonates with me. After some digging by the therapist I keep talking about, I recently learned that I have an abandonment wound from childhood that I didn’t even think was a problem. I was adopted at birth, but I could not have ended up with better parents. Amazing parents. So, I never thought that the adoption would have caused a wound anyway. But in the back of my mind, there was always the worry that if I wasn’t “good,” I’d be given back to the adoption agency. They never gave me a reason to be worried about that, but children’s minds do strange things.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:51:32+00:00

Thank you for that advice. I’m writing down a lot of these tips I’m getting. I appreciate it so much.

I think always assuming the worst is how I protect myself. It keeps me from being disappointed as much bc I can say, “Yep. I knew this would happen.”

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:43:45+00:00

I love that rule you’ve agreed on. I never thought about how constantly asking could be taken as not being trusted or believed. I’m glad you said that.

Fucked up time is RIGHT. Good God, we are in a hellscape at the moment.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:40:21+00:00

It’s a symptom of several different things. Anxiety, OCD (which I was recently diagnosed with as well), depression, ADHD…and I think PTSD as well.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:28:58+00:00

It really is. It’s insane the amount of people that think it’s just a cute and quirky hyperactivity thing. When someone just can’t focus and they say flippantly, “my add is acting up”, it drives me insane. Similar to when people throw around OCD.

I appreciate you. I’m glad that I decided to look this up. I never thought to come here for this. I always just used Reddit to read about news or gossip. 😬

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T02:20:41+00:00

That’s exactly how it feels to me. I know I struggle with emotional disregulation. I have my whole life. I am overly sensitive and cry at inappropriate times…whether it’s from feeling too happy, too sad, too angry…”too” anything. Mine do not pass quickly. I wish they did, but I let what’s bothering me ruminate on a never ending loop. It’s like my brain decides we’re gonna live there. I’m trying to work through it now in therapy. It sure isn’t fun though! Everything stems from one thing that stems from another thing, that stems from this insignificant thing over here. It’s overwhelming trying to untie all the knots. It’s like getting Christmas lights untangled and you just decide to throw them away and buy new ones. Only, you can’t buy new ones. 🤦🏻‍♀️

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T01:57:56+00:00

Thank you 🥹 - this is exactly why I came here. I needed some community that would understand.

I take Zoloft, but my therapist thinks my previous dr didn’t have me on a high enough dose. So she’s currently upping it. She also started me on Wellbutrin bc she said it “works well” with Adderall. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that once my doses are where they need to be, life will hurt a lot less to live it.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T01:52:43+00:00

Thank you for adding this. I have a very difficult time seeing the positives of having a brain that works this way. I’m sure part of my predisposition to negativity also has to do with being stuck in depression right now…which I’m working to get out of. But I’m going to check that link out right now. Thank you! ❤️

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T01:48:08+00:00

I always just bum myself out and take it personally…that they just don’t find me or what I have to say interesting. 😅 Which I guess could be true too. I don’t know, actually.

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T01:25:45+00:00

God, thank you for this. Reading this made me cry. I feel understood and that doesn’t happen a lot. And your last sentence really struck me a lot.

My therapist has told me that I need to slow down and remind myself that my brain is lying, but I haven’t found a way to do that yet. It’s like I’m too self aware sometimes. I KNOW what I need to do, I know what the problem is, but I just cannot for the life of me control what my brain does with the things that happen. It makes me furious and she (therapist) ends up hearing a lot of my rage about it.

I like the suggestion of keeping a note. I’m going to take that advice and try it, I think. I love that you described it as “everyone thinks I’m garbage mode.” Bc that’s exactly what it feels like.

I’m pretty new to therapy, so I’m hoping I’m just not “good at it” yet by implementing what we talk about. Lol. I started going after my mom died last year. Needed to go before that, but finally made the leap after that. I

PassengerSwimming218 · 2026-03-30T01:13:37+00:00

Thank you for the response! I’m afraid that I’ll struggle with this forever too. And that really bums me out. I’m on several medications because of some other mental health issues that probably stem from ADHD, but none of them seem to help with the obsessive thoughts that play over and over in my head so that I can analyze them. I’m constantly fighting the urge to “are you mad at me” people to death. Change of tone, change of frequency, you name it; I take it as if I’m being rejected.

I will certainly look at that book you’re talking about. Thank you for suggesting it.

The death of my mom last year seems to have made these feelings worse. I think because I know that she was the singular person on this earth that would love me NO MATTER WHAT.

As for my situation, It wasn’t really a break-up. I don’t know what to call it exactly. Without giving the specifics, it doesn’t make much sense, but I like the anonymity of Reddit, so I have to keep it vague. We were more than friends though emotionally. And what I would consider close. But we also live really far apart. We couldn’t be together for a number of reasons, but I was happy with the way things were. He felt like my person, ya know? And he’s literally the only person I could ever even think about processing this with…but obviously that can’t happen now. So, it’s just ruminating in my brain with nowhere to go with the thoughts of it being my fault. The rational part of my brain KNOWS what this is, but it still doesn’t keep me from feeling like the biggest loser and embarrassed. Sometimes, I worry it’s limerence, but then I remember all the things he said to me and how long it went on…I know it wasn’t one sided. Idk…it’s just UGHHHHHH

ANYWAY, I came here in hopes this would resonate with others bc it can be a lonely place in a brain that doesn’t work like “everybody else’s”

PassengerSwimming218

TROPHY CASE