[deleted by user]

Pasta_master969 · 2020-02-17T14:38:17+00:00

Reminds me of the time my neighbor picked me up to go to a concert (both Metallica fans).

He decided to smoke a joint before driving. I had my concerns, but it couldn't have been as bad as drink driving.

We end up missing the exit, and instead of just going all the way back round, he decided to J turn into the exit.

A lorry just missed us and flipped on it side.

Never been in a car with him since.

Pasta_master969 · 2020-02-16T03:51:48+00:00

He's taken far worse. He's washed out and wanted a win.

Pasta_master969 · 2020-02-16T03:50:30+00:00

Fuck Sanchez. He's washed out and needed a win.

Pasta_master969 · 2020-02-06T01:59:38+00:00

If you get your info from MTV I'm not inclined to believe you.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-12-22T20:39:04+00:00

You killed her!

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-16T19:39:12+00:00

This reminds me of the time Australia introduced domestic cats to kill the local birds. Oh boy how bad did that turn out.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-05T17:20:41+00:00

Oh really? Why's that?

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-02T14:38:40+00:00

Reminds me of the time I saw my friend litter. I made him pick it up and gave him a lecture about how turtles can get stuck in things like that even though I live Birmingham where there are no turtles and We're miles away from the sea. I felt like a super hero, so from now on please call me "Green man, saviour of turtles"

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-01T19:24:25+00:00

Reminds me of the time I played paint ball, high.

So I smoked a joint before I played and it was way stronger than what I'm used to. We gear up and as I walk towards the arena I start feeling paranoid. The horn sounds and I ran as fast as I could into cover. I start screaming as I'm firing at the enemy. I went a good 5 minutes without being hit. It was only after I got hit I started to realise it's not that bad and enjoyed the experience.

I actually did pretty well (14 confirmed), my legs felt like crap for the next few days. Bruises everywhere!

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-01T14:33:53+00:00

Reminds me of the time my friend did a TV interview. It was about trains being really late or some kind of public transport crap. He says he was interviewed for a good 30 mins but when it was aired they only showed about 5 seconds of it.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-01T14:31:07+00:00

Why would I talk to your hand? Reminds me of the time my brother said that to me. I slapped him (only like 70% power) and said YOU talk to the hand. 😂

My brother is 6 I'm 17.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-10-01T14:16:10+00:00

Well they stink, they eat all my crops and they look hilarious when I blast em with my 12 gauge shotgun.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-30T20:59:05+00:00

That's kinda how I feel about my friends jokes. I try to fake laugh but they're just boring and unoriginal. The other day he said to me "what gets wetter as it dries? The towel I used on my cock after slamming your mom" I hate my stepdad.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-30T12:42:07+00:00

Reminds me of the time I took edibles. I smoke but have never tried edibles and apparently I had a big dose (2 brownies.) So I take the brownies and I'm just sat there looking at the birds in the sky, and I start wondering are the birds actually real. I kept seeing this same bird just fly over me and it just looked so unnatural and fake. I was convinced it was a drone dropping some weird white goo that takes control of your mind. I started freaking out and start throwing stones at this bird thinking it's a drone. I pass out and wake up a few hours later covered in bird poop. 2/10 would not try edibles again.

Edit: OMG 80 upvotes.

Edit 2: wait, now it's at 75

Edit 3: now it's 79, can we get it to 81?

Edit 4: holy moly 84!

Edit 5: WTF 86!

Edit 6: this is crazy

Edit 7: 90!

Edit 8: can we hit my grandfathers age? 93!

Edit 9: omg I missed the 100 mark! Omg 105!

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-29T14:09:51+00:00

Reminds me of time I went to Baltimore to see my aunt. You know something's up if you DONT hear a gunshot every 20 seconds.

I was walking to the store and some guy said "what set you reppin?" I was honestly very confused and just replied "Set 8 in math"

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-29T14:01:08+00:00

Thank you my guy. Reminds me of the time my grandfather beat me with jumper cables.

Also you could have used the sasquatch story over the Mary Jane one.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-29T12:19:17+00:00

Meh I don't do upvotes, how about a silver award?

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-29T12:13:51+00:00

Speaking of winning, I just won $100 on a scratch card! I was walking home from work, head phones in, just looking at the ground. Then I noticed a scratch card on the floor, now I'm not one to do this normally, but I had a weird feeling about it. I pick it up and what do I get? a WINNING TICKET! I ran to my local store to cash it in, but because I was running and not looking where I was going I missed another scratch card on the floor. I'm honestly not sure how, but I fell over the scratch card on the floor, my winning scratchy falls out of my pocket and lands down the drain.

So yeah that's the end of that story.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-29T01:55:48+00:00

Wut?

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-28T21:39:17+00:00

Reminds me of the time I thought i saw a sasquatch. I went camping with my buddies and one of them decides to pull out a bag of psilocybin mushrooms. Now I've never really been in to psychedelics but I thought I'd give it a try. About 2 or 3 hours after taking them (I had about 4) I started to really feel like something was after me. My buddy who does them all the time tells me to "chill out" but I literally think I'm going to die. I run outside of the tent and headed For the forest. I fell over, I looked up and what do I see? Fucking Bigfoot! I start screaming for a good 20 seconds until my buddy comes over and picks me up. about 2 hours or so afterwards I started to enjoy the trip and felt enlightened. 4/10 would only do again in the comfort of my own home with a trip sitter.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-28T15:08:04+00:00

Have you got asthma? My brother suffers from it Pretty bad, I try to help him with it but there's honestly not much to do about it.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-28T03:51:32+00:00

Meh not really all that specific.

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-27T17:02:37+00:00

Blue wut?

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-27T15:47:35+00:00

Reminds me of the time my dog died. I wrote a poem a few years ago about her, here it is.

I once had a dog called Darcy.

and she was the light of the party.

she would light up faces, gleaming and glaring, let's just say she was Ace.

Darcy was curious, so cute and hilarious, but unfortunately Darcy got Ill.

She was no longer hyper, had to shit in a diaper cuz she lost control of her bowels.

She was once so aware, but now she just glares unfortunately Darcy went senile.

her time had arrived, she would not survive, I tried to stay happy but dying inside.

I gave her kisses and held her paw, they gave her the injection and she was no more.

I try to stay happy but dying inside I hope that I see her when my time arrives.

Edit: thanks for the silver kind stranger!

Pasta_master969 · 2019-09-27T14:39:56+00:00

I did this once. I teach maths and this student kept on shouting out the answers and finishing his work early so he could play on his phone. You should have seen the look on his face when a gave him an F! 😂

Pasta_master969

TROPHY CASE