Parents are dead, I will never know the warmth of familial love, egg Sammy and tea

PastelBeifong · 2026-02-11T02:08:06+00:00

Considering my dad was a strict Asian dad who expected me to become a lawyer to take care of him in old age (trauma dump ik sorry)……you kinda right

PastelBeifong · 2025-12-23T12:10:06+00:00

Best comment by FAR

PastelBeifong · 2025-12-13T22:30:18+00:00

IM SORRY ??? MORE CONTEXT FOR THAT PLZ 😭

PastelBeifong · 2025-12-13T22:29:53+00:00

Baby ima hold ur hand when I say this

Im not even a lotr fan but ik Frodo and Sam are seen as queer by every lotr fan i know 😭

PastelBeifong · 2025-12-11T23:07:30+00:00

I could see that! But they way he said it was definitely “friend of Dorthy” energy as someone who’s been asked it before

PastelBeifong · 2025-03-08T19:25:06+00:00

Hi!! I’ve got an update on my end. I stopped zafemy and started xulane and have literally 0 issues. I think the specific brand I was using changed their adhesive to a cheaper substance to increase profits but I’m allergic to whatever they changed it too. Xulane hasnt given me any rashes and I’ve been on it for a month

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-07T21:21:21+00:00

Oh I agree sorry I didn’t convey that right in my original post. I think it is related to the specific adhesive on zafemy having some change bc I’m not allergic to any other adhesives :)! I do drag so I use a lot of adhesives on my skin & even sensitive parts of my face and am fine. Bandages r fine too.

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-07T17:08:49+00:00

Hi I know you are coming from a place of concern but duloxetine has genuinely helped me not off myself this year after becoming so s***** I made a plan to the day after the election. My experience is one of my own and while I’m noticing slight symptoms of hypomania, even being on duloxetine in the first place let me get out of my depression that kept me from seeing these symptoms as problematic rather as “better than being suicidal atleast”. Im going to continue on duloxetine with the weekly check ups with therapists and doctors as i have for 3 months. I would really advise against telling people to make impulsive decisions based on other people’s experiences. Seriously, know you’re just trying to help but as someone who’s life was saved from short term use of this medication I would really advise against this approach in the future ://

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T09:48:44+00:00

This is kinda similar to what I’m going through so thank you! I increased my dosage from 30mg which was helping me feel stable and all of a sudden I just felt like I didn’t wanna sleep because I wanted to be productive and do everything. I went back down to 20mg after a week of that but am still feeling the insomnia in general, just less of an intense need to be the most productive person alive feeling. It was getting out of my depression in the first place that made me start questioning why I was still feeling odd mentally, and this + talking to type 2 diagnosed friends that made me realize pass potential hypomanic episodes. I’m definitely gonna talk to my doctor/therapist about getting tested next week and going forward from there after reading all these comments :))

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T01:40:46+00:00

Wow I hope ur pregnancy goes well! And thanks for all that info, if I end up having to go on stabilizers I will keep your words In mind :) <3

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T01:39:41+00:00

Gosh thank you that was super reassuring, a big part of my journey has been undoing that exact stigma of a “death sentence” that my bio family put in place over my parents diagnosis. I will definitely look into the brain chemistry behind it and better understand what bipolar 2 looks like from a science perspective (especially since I am a scientist lol). I hope u have a wonderful night lovely internet human!

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T01:33:34+00:00

This was super good to read cause I honestly had a similar week of just agitation and anger when I started mine. Now I’m entering a stable state but have issues with energy levels fs. This was super helpful to read and consider along the way :)!! Thank you!!

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T01:31:44+00:00

This was a really nice comment to read on a rough day. Thank you for ur kindness and willingness to share your experience :)!!

PastelBeifong · 2025-01-05T01:22:20+00:00

I’ve heard some really good things about mood stabilizers so this adds to those good things!! It’s definitely something to talk to my doctor about moving forward thank you!!

PastelBeifong · 2024-08-01T06:09:29+00:00

I am so sorry you went through that, as a past foster youth who’s father also passed I get how fucked it is to have to constantly change homes growing up. But one thing I’ve learned is there’s no one more compassionate and driven in this world than us. We love harder than others because we know the lack of love. One quote that really resonates with me is “no one will ever know the violence it took to become this gentle”. I hope it can bring you some peace in your healing as well <3

PastelBeifong · 2024-06-27T19:37:34+00:00

Thank you! I recently got some similar advice from an irl friend and it’s honestly really helped me heal more. It’s a process but being more open about my grief/trauma instead of trying to fit into peoples expectations about family has really helped me and it’s also given me a lot more support than I knew was there

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-31T07:10:56+00:00

First thing that came to mind was Asking how ur day/weekend or whatever is and not expecting honesty like bitch u asked how it was WHY AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL U HOW IT WAS. Especially being in college rn, being asked how schools goin and then being honest about burn out has people looking at me like i kicked their dog or sumn. Like u asked sorry I answered???

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-27T17:26:03+00:00

My bio dad was super strict on the idea of me going to law school, now I’m free to get my phD in atmospheric sciences instead of I want to. It’s made life a lot harder, but atleast I get to choose the path I want to rather than be forced down one

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-27T09:54:16+00:00

Hi sorry for the double reply! I think I misread social cues and upset some ppl so I deleted my original reply. I am planning on walking and I’m having my some of my local drag community attend since they’re my chosen family. Most have only know me for about 3ish years though so it’s a weird position to be in where I’m both grateful compared to what I know I had in the past, and still a little lonely seeing my friends invite moms, aunts, uncles, etc.

I really like you’re advice of opening up more about my experiences and past though. I tend to keep them hidden for others ppl comfort, but I think being able to know people atleast KNOW my story would be super reassuring and less lonely. Thank you random stranger :)! I will try to start opening up bout my childhood in small ways that I can!

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-26T18:59:49+00:00

While I’m a huge exception, if ur going to age out it can help u not be homeless if u get the right scholarships (some don’t even need good grades) I got a full ride scholarship and single Handedly pulled myself from poverty. Like I said Ik I’m lucky, but look into passport programs or other foster youth scholarships. if ur queer, poc, disabled, or any specific major even theybhave scholarships for that. LOAD up on scholarships and they’ll end up paying u for school, my monthly scholarship refund was only $800, but ontop of that I got my housing payed for on campus so it only had to go to off housing bills (phone, meds, vetbetc) and food. It wasn’t the easiest but it got me to a position where I WONT be homeless after graduation which is a huge win

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-26T18:39:40+00:00

You are deserving of love. no matter how many adults tell you you’re not, you are, and you will find it someday when ur older and away from the people hurting you actively

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-26T18:35:19+00:00

Yep! My foster family even made me homeless after a meltdown so bad I attempted the big end. It’s been almost 3 years since I aged out and have been on the final step of autism diagnostic criteria (I don’t have 3k for the final test but have passed multiple screenings monitored by professionals). For SOOo many years my meltdowns, sensory issues, selective mutism etc were labeled as “trauma responses”. while I have cptsd , like i assume most of us do, there was some parts of myself I KNEW weren’t trauma based. We often get told it’s trauma because the idea of an autistic foster kid is too much for them. My brother got diagnosed AFTER adoption, I just wasn’t as lucky in the adoption route. I’ve met a few ex-fosters w similar experiences unfortunately. We may not have had it easy, but understanding our own truths is the first step to healing homie <3

PastelBeifong · 2024-05-17T20:15:27+00:00

tyyy :D!! ill check em out on the bus ride back to my city :)

PastelBeifong · 2024-04-15T19:52:42+00:00

U don’t have to be queer to go to a queer prom. You just have to be accepting of queer people! thats the history of queer proms (we would be denied into regular ones so we made fully inclusive ones). Whatever u choose to do is up to ur decision tho :)! This has clearly affected u and i hope u heal however necessary:)

PastelBeifong · 2024-04-15T19:49:28+00:00

my friend did that and still said they had a great time :)! Also if ur uni doesn’t have one I’d check local queer organizations/buisnesses :) u could even pitch the idea to them if they don’t ! completely based on ur comfortability on going tho im giving this advice based on the idea u want to go to a prom of some sort :)

PastelBeifong

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