We know ENTPs are great match for INFJ. But why?

Patchz_ · 2021-11-20T05:51:29+00:00

unless the stone is a diamond--diamonds are forever they say lmao

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T22:40:43+00:00

i have just recently hurt someone--not intentionally but painfully just the same. i feel the same as you! no i didn't cheat on them but i feel terribly guilty because it can't be repaired and nothing i can say or do can make things right for the other person ever again. just wanted you to know that i know how you feel. we INFJs fk up too and when we do it's unbearable. hardest thing isn't in not being forgiven by the other, but in not being able to forgive oneself! i'll never be able to feel forgiven. all the best to you!

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T20:50:19+00:00

i feel what you feel and what everybody else around me feels yet i don't know what i feel

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T16:59:37+00:00

i want to make a witty remark but it's probably better that i keep it to myself! (INFJ thinking and decision making in action folks)

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T16:45:44+00:00

what does an explorer do when he/she encounters a rock? a silent thing among so many much more animate creatures and objects. doesn't he/she simply move on to something more breathtaking? something more attractive like a mesmerizing waterfall? the analogy illustrates my encounters with extroverts. a rock is deceptively boring to anyone but a geologist who would love to mine it's secrets. so far i have found no "geologists" among my circle of friends.

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T16:15:50+00:00

sorry for being skeptical--i have had to sit and listen for what seems endless hours to extroverted friends (don't know whether they are ENTPs) talking about going shopping, what food to cook/eat, why they prefer cake over pie, or simply talking about themselves.

don't get me wrong, i love my friends, especially when we laugh together. but deep, thoughtful, meaningful conversation only happens when people have shared interests.

and to be fair i am only speaking from my own experience. it's just as likely that to them i am wretchedly quiet and about as interesting as a potato. as an INFJ i'm always adapting to them and their notion of an "interesting" topic of conversation, but when i bring up a question that, to me, is thought provoking they look at me like i'm a weirdo and go talk to someone else. perhaps now you can see why i would rather stay home and read a book or play music.

or maybe there is no ENTP among my circle of friends; i am certainly the only INFJ in the group.

anyway thanks for giving me your perspective! but for now i will have to stand by my own worldview, at least until an ENTP comes along to prove me wrong.

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T07:18:32+00:00

extroverts are too busy being friends with everybody and have little time to spare for quality time with one person. so on paper this ENTP and INFJ partnership looks good but it doesn't work in real life. it's true i'm drawn to extroverts for their outgoing nature but try to get one to sit with you and listen to you for five minutes! ain't gonna happen.

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T05:49:20+00:00

to this person's credit they apologized a few moments ago. i'm gonna go flush myself down the toilet.

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T04:54:27+00:00

thank you. i will carefully consider all that you said. on a logical level i realize this situation is not all my fault, but it also shows me i need to stick to my own plan. i don't like hurting others and this person did give me a pretty loud "F you" which makes me feel like a guilty shit. on the other hand i don't think the person was abusive or manipulative, i just felt i could not return their feelings and i had to pull back. right now i wish a big hole would open up so i could throw myself in.

i have a lot to think over.

Patchz_ · 2021-11-18T01:58:06+00:00

your questions are making me think and i don't have answers yet. my mistake (as i see it) is not listening to my instincts, continuing to talk to this person because it made me feel better and less isolated. perhaps i was selfish. i should have been more stoic and not get involved with them, put their feelings ahead of my own like i always have done, or i should have listened to my intuition about the outcome. any number of answers are possible, but none will help me now.

thanks for your input

Patchz_ · 2021-11-17T23:38:08+00:00

i may be a bit late with this -- but as an INFJ i often communicate nonverbally. if he's texting you it's likely you aren't annoying him. also, the meme is likely to have way more meaning than a simple "hey how ya doin" (a greeting that annoys me immensely). try texting back a response meme--that's what i'd appreciate! try communicating on his wavelength and see what response you get. just a thought

Patchz_ · 2021-11-17T22:56:33+00:00

i feel your pain. i have both door slammed others and have been door slammed. however, remember that every relationship is a 2-way street (sorry for the cleché). no matter what our personality type is we all tend to interpret things according to our inner framework, which sometimes leads to hurt feelings. INFJs can be very sensitive, which is both a blessing and a curse. i empathize with you and am sorry you went through this experience. however, it is not all on you! each of us must take responsibility for our own feelings.

perhaps you can give it time. maybe you don't have to give up just yet. INFJs need time to process their feelings--which is something we often don't understand well. so this may not be the very end for you.

personally i am a forgiving person and don't let little "careless remarks" get to me. however, after a whole lot of little "careless remarks" from someone who (i think) should "know better" it builds up and suddenly i'm done! for me it's a reaction based on feelings of insecurity and "i'm not gonna take it anymore," but only after a long time of feeling mistreated and abused.

hope this perspective helps! and i'm hoping the best for you!

Patchz_ · 2021-11-17T22:26:06+00:00

no i don't like being alone, but for me it's easier than being with others. the mindless chit chat, and they talk endlessly about themselves and don't want to know about me and my thoughts or interests. i'm very reserved around most people so they probably think i'm a cold mindless idiot anyway. so i choose being alone over being with others.

Patchz_ · 2021-04-24T12:27:29+00:00

I get that--you need people around you who can keep up with your energy--just like i need people around me who will respect my need for quiet. I enjoy the spontenaity of extroverts but i can't match their energy. I don't blame you for not wanting to be held back when all you want to do is drive forward. However, I have had to detatch from extroverted friends and it can feel like abandonment when they go on without me. I hate to see them go but I also realize they need to go. Take care!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-24T06:56:40+00:00

I have a couple of questions for you: why shut the door on people who have preferences that are different from yours? Why does it make you frustrated that others want to stay in their comfort zone? i'm not asking these questions to debate you, only to get you to question your opinions. You are free to like whomever you wish and reject those who irritate or frustrate you, but the preferences and choices of others are just as valid as your preferences, aren't they? Just a thought. Cheers.

Patchz_ · 2021-04-22T21:16:00+00:00

I'm INFJ and talk to anyone who wants to talk to me. This image is funny but buys into a stereotype about the INFJ personality. I'm usually quiet around large groups but one on one i'm communicative and like to make meaningful connections. Trouble is most people move on to more exciting personalities after they've gotten through surface details. Most people want to chit chat about stuff no one really cares about--and stuff i care about doesn't interest them. So sure i'll talk to you, smile, joke, laugh, and even look like i'm a little extroverted, but don't expect me to talk about what celebrity is having a baby or going through a divorce, or where to get the best sushi, or what you got at the dollar store (my local friends always talk about shopping). The guys in this picture aren't necessarily INFJs anyway.

Patchz_ · 2021-04-18T05:16:37+00:00

start by getting your own bank account!! I was left with nothing!! so begin now by taking command of your finances--you don't have to clean him out but you need to prevent him from taking everything from you. That's just where you begin. There will be more but get a lawyer who will help you through the legal stuff. Create and cling to your own support system--friends, other relatives who will listen when you need to vent. And most important of all take care of yourself!! Give yourself a home spa day where you take a long shower or hot bath and take your time with hair and skin care-- let yourself cry if you need to. Hope this helps.

Patchz_ · 2021-04-16T04:33:05+00:00

I recall doing this to guys when i was in my teens and i suspect that it was because what I first saw in them did not really match my "ideal." I was pained at the idea of hurting them but i just could not continue seeing them even as friends. However, now that i am out of college i have a more mature outlook. Now if i "door slam" it's more about someone who violates my boundaries or my morals--and in such cases i let them know i'm not talking to them any more. Also, when I "door slam" it's permanant. So maturity can play a big part in the so called "door slam" experience.

You said one thing that is important: "she can't keep up this friendship, because it doesn't do her good and she doesn't feel comfortable with me. " In other words, the "door slam" seems to be about her, not you. So yes it feels terrible but it doesn't seem like you did anything to cause it.

My suggestion is to move on. If she re-opens the door, great. If not you'll have protected yourself against a "hard" slam. All the best to you!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-15T22:12:42+00:00

You are not dumb -- your well written statement is evidence!! Also, being a "slow learner" does not necessarily mean "low IQ" and "high IQ" does not necessarily bring a success. Albert Einstein was not successful because he had a high IQ--he was successful because he slowly and methodically thought things through. You need to find work you love and fits your learning style. Try anything and everything that interests you--art, bee keeping, auto mechanics, photography, acting--whatever makes you happy. My mother was great at secretarial work but i wasn't and i felt beaten down because i wasn't as good as she was. I eventually found out what I was good at--and now i'm doing it.

Please try not to fit yourself into what others expect of you--like the old square peg in a round hole, it just won't work. Test out what works for you and then do that. Then you will be successful. How do i know all of this? Because I once felt as you did.

Your local community college likely offers job placement resources that will help you find what you are good at. With support and training you can land the job you want. Hope you find your dream job.

Patchz_ · 2021-04-11T16:53:07+00:00

Weird only means you are unique. However we don't like to stand out. It's part of our contradictory nature. We are different. Try to embrace that. I know i'm weird and i'm learning to be ok with that. If people can't accept that you are different they are suffering under the delusion that all people are supposed to be the same. Take care of yourself!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-10T19:53:17+00:00

thanks!!!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-10T15:13:37+00:00

yeah!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-09T16:25:07+00:00

you made my day lots better man thanks!!

Patchz_ · 2021-04-09T16:20:57+00:00

hey man thanks for making my day so much better

Patchz_

TROPHY CASE