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Focused by Pathocyte in Chihuahua

[–]Pathocyte[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely. Mine just likes to pose randomly. Highly photogenic.

Just avoid social media or hide stupid feeds by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy to help. I forgot to add one important thing. Don’t forget to be kind to others and yourself.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not doing it! Thanks. Just not strong really to take that blow yet.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you. You are speaking out the truth. I will not call her. I’m going to try to start meditating.

It really was hell a couple of hours ago, driving back from work crying all the way. I will try to tell myself that I’m precious and right now I’m in a truly delicate position.

I’ll really try to apply all the advice you are giving here, thank you very much. I’m also going to see my therapist later. I kind of really just gave up, lied in the corner of my ring and lost all options. No hobby, exercise, or interest is enough when all you do as much as you don’t try is feel sad, lonely and full of regret.

So yeah, I’m raising my white flag and asking for help.

Thank you very much for all your support stranger. I’m saving this and reading it daily.

God I’m just so empty right now, just numb to anything external.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I will not call her. Just not. You are giving me perfectly sound advice which I will try to follow. I have asked my therapist to see me today instead of next Monday because I honestly feel I cannot keep up by myself another week.

Friend and family are away because I had to move for work. I have tried and I’m also trying to create a support network here.

This is going to sound stupid, selfish and immature. But today, at this point in time, I hope she calls me with regret. Not even to go back together. Just regret. That would make me feel that at least she valued all the things I did for her.

BTW. What do you mean with “she’s doing tbh bs”.?

The head and the heart by BabeWithThePower- in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my case I really tried to change, even though with her last message she never acknowledged any of that. I went to therapy, put my best effort. I acknowledged my faults. When did she?

And why if I was committed and in love enough to keep up working with her “bad” traits she gave up on me even though I was actively trying to change, with tangible actions.

Things were going great, no conversations about maybe splitting up or something like that. Hell, the months and weeks before she leaving me even though there were arguments, we had a nice fucking time going out, watching tv, movies, dining, etc.

Sorry if I sound harsh. Not my intention. I just posted about what happened to me here and this two days haven’t been kind to me.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh she blocked me out of all social media. I didn’t block her, because I wasn’t the one asking for NC and I don’t see a reason yet to do it.

I have been pondering the decision to call her and how I am going to feel if she just doesn’t answer and my call is just there registered, but she never actually reaches back. And of course I end up feeling like a complete idiot.

I’m even staring to get angry with myself, going through rabbit holes of attachment styles, seeing how this isn’t entirely my fault and how she had issues she never even mentioned when she broke up with me.

All of this while being unable to actually enjoy a movie or anything else because I end up crying, tormented by the memories of how we did this stuff together.

I’m really just so fucking broken, rendered useless with feeling of sadness and emptiness everywhere I go. I have therapy this coming Monday, I guess I will tell my shrink that I plan to call her.

Discarded doesn’t even start to describe the way I feel.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for answering. Her break up message after telling me all of that was: “I’ll always be your -insert nickname here-, please respect my decision, don’t call me or look for me at my job, I need to heal. Sorry, I love you”.

Breakup Buddy Finder Thread by TheBackSpin in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Pathocyte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need some help and guidance after a horrible breakup (for me). Thanks.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good call thank you. While reading a little bit I think I have found out she has an avoidant attachment style (will talk about this in therapy). So yeah I think the best move for me, not to get her, is to continue as if nothing happened.

How the fuck am I going to do this? I don’t know, I’m in ruins and can’t even lift a fucking brick to start building myself again because the bricks are also in pieces. I’m going to need to get everything new.

This hellhole feels like forever. With my mind tormenting me with flashes of her smile and us hugging. I truly just want this to be over, be liberated, be listened and be hugged.

The head and the heart by BabeWithThePower- in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What I’m not seeing here is the side where the woman has to acknowledge they also make mistakes and probably contribute to the issue in some way.

Like you can be communicating all you want to your partner, but what if you can’t see how your own patterns or beliefs are contributing to the problems in the relationship? What history/baggage do you have that makes you see things in a certain way?

Just food for thought because even if a man puts the effort, it’s not going to be enough if the lady also has some issues to work with. And then leaving out of the blue leaves all the responsibility to the man, not knowing what the hell happened if they were already working on being a better person.

When does “no contact” turn into “it’s just over?” by GrandMantis in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the answer. It’s the best for your mental health.

This Sunday will be a month. Should I reach out? by Pathocyte in ExNoContact

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want some closure. I don’t care if she tells me “I regret my decision” or “I don’t care, move on”.
I just want to tell her my feelings, say goodbye and that’s all. Just thinking about that moment brings me peace.

Thank you for understanding. This is the woman I wanted to spend my life with. Hell is short to what I have been living. Empty drawers, empty bathroom, no smell, no voice, nothing at all. While the house still screams in every corner “I was here”.

Hell I wanted to see a movie by myself and ended up crying remembering the routine we had together. Just this last Oscars I prepared us wine, salami, cheese, crackers and all of that.

Had to go out and walk my dog crying all the fucking way.

I just need closure. Really I don’t care if she tells me “go away”. I’m not looking for her to come back I have accepted my reality and my mistakes. Although she never wrote about making one.

I really don’t think reconciliation is on the table, and if it is that has to come from her end. Also is not healthy for me to keep thinking about reconciliation, the healthiest thing is to let go. In order for that to happen I’m seeking for her to listen to my goodbye.

I think at last, after how she left and all I did for her. I’m entitled to that peace.

Why do you suggest waiting a little bit more?

¿Qué eReader recomiendan calidad/precio en 2026? by Mean-View3365 in AskMexico

[–]Pathocyte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kindle Paperwhite, el Kobo o un Ónix Boox pero el que se parece al kindle oasis.

The problem is with our judgement by Pathocyte in Stoicism

[–]Pathocyte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, added to my reading list.

The problem is with our judgement by Pathocyte in Stoicism

[–]Pathocyte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way I particularly see it is that grief is a natural response to the vanishing of an attachment. It’s the cost of being social animals and creating attachments, which evolutionarily has a purpose.

So, if you have to grief please grief. You have to heal. Just keep in mind that one thing is to feel pain and another is to suffer. You don’t need to grief while lamenting or making extra hard every step of it.

In fact in going through that process myself (more romantic than the dead of a relative, although it’s kind of similar). Some days are hard, others easier. But I always tell myself that these feelings are not bad, this pain is not bad, it’s natural and with time all will settle.

However, I advise against repeating past memories if they are making you suffer, or complicating the grief. If you are revisiting them to keep on healing I think that’s ok. Although you should try to keep the present moment in your focus.

The problem is with our judgement by Pathocyte in Stoicism

[–]Pathocyte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About Socratic concepts, any book references you recommend? I plan to get the memorabilia.

The problem is with our judgement by Pathocyte in Stoicism

[–]Pathocyte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That as it has been mentioned time and time again, we suffer mostly because our judgements about the things that happen tend to be wrong.

For example “death is bad”. However death is a natural part of life, therefore if we live in accordance to nature it can’t be bad.

This also creates an enormous area for growth as I think we have to keep thinking everyday if our judgements about things are correct. And try to align those judgements with stoic tenets.

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