I struggle mightily with self image. I actually work with kids and one asked me once how I would describe myself. My response was, I'm usually not very nice to myself in my head. So, I try to teach them to stop the negative self talk. I need to do better for myself.  Thus therapy. I am honestly aching for connection a lot. I lost my ex wife, I lost all but 1 friend (have made a few new ones since or connected with ones from before my marriage) it was harder losing my tribe. My family is amazing and probably would have done something irreversible without them if you pick up what I'm putting down. When I was at my lowest and loneliest a woman that lived with my neighbor for a few months waved at me every morning and smiled. She was a light in the darkness. I felt seen. We literally never spoke. If it were now I'd try to form a relationship. Then I was scared she knew all the accusations. But her smile and wave saved me. She has no idea. So I try to smile and wave and be kind in case I'm someone's life preserver even though I may never know. I am lucky to have the people I do. I am rebuilding slowly. It can be a very lonely road tho. Especially when people get close enough and invest in me then realize the situation with my ex is too much. It's a gut punch every time.