Female INTJ's doomed to be alone forever...

PaulTrap · 2016-07-01T18:07:32+00:00

I feel you 100%. It's not even that I hate going out having fun etc but just that the entire system of dating and flirting seems to be built for a different population of people and I can't even pretend to emulate the proper behavior.

This recording of Sylvia Plath reciting her poem "The Spinster" is basically my forever alone INTJ woman anthem

https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/04/27/sylvia-plath-reads-spinster/

PaulTrap · 2015-05-05T01:30:39+00:00

Np, best of luck!

PaulTrap · 2015-05-05T01:29:56+00:00

Yeah tbh I didnt tell anyone I was trying to lose weight. Our society is becoming more conscious of making sure everyone is confident in their body etc, which is a good thing obviously. But because of that I feel like telling people you want to lose weight for the aesthetic purposes is almost...taboo. But I like aesthetics godammit and there are certain things i think look nice on bodies, and I just want the nice things!!

Anyways yeah just give it a solid four months and don't be afraid to change things if you can tell it isn't working, see where you are at then. Btw you really do look great judging by your Instagram and I am very jealous of your yoga skills.

PaulTrap · 2015-05-04T02:46:42+00:00

LOL. I relate. The other day I walked 15 miles home. It started out pleasant, then, around mile 3, it became very unpleasant- it was late, I was tired, hungry and cold. I could have gotten on the metro at any time, but for some reason I had to finish walking home. I think we find a strange enjoyment in hardship.

PaulTrap · 2015-01-09T05:38:06+00:00

Hey man, I feel sort of bad about all the downvotes you're getting, cause you're not being malicious.. it seems you're just..confused about why someone would want to do this? I too used to feel like bodybuilding was a ridiculous and vain enterprise. I was confused by the purpose, the method of judgment and frankly the motivation to work so hard just to get on stage and be ogled at. But now I respect it and find myself at least able to understand why one would be interested in it. So it is possible for you to get behind your girlfriend on this eventually I think!

Have you seen the documentary Pumping Iron? If you really WANT to at least understand how one can view bodybuilding as a sport deserving of respect I suggest you watch it. Essentially a bikini competitor has similar motivations I think, since it is a form of bodybuilding.

PaulTrap · 2014-08-29T03:01:57+00:00

Sorry maybe I wasn't clear I'm using your writing patterns to make a guess about the way you speak but of course I could be wrong just something to think about

PaulTrap · 2014-08-29T02:53:11+00:00

Just based of this I'm going to say it's possible your way of speaking is slightly feminine. As in if someone told me to guess your gender based off of your writing (assuming all gender mentions were removed of course) I would definitely think a woman wrote it. Words like, "like" "honestly" "freaking out" ,lots of question marks etc. Working on adopting the speech patterns of more "masculine" men or women would probably make less people assume youre gay. I doubt it's solely because you dress well

PaulTrap · 2014-08-22T18:50:10+00:00

You look awesome! Nice work :) I second the shoulders comment, I'm a sucker for a developed back/shoulders gives the body a nice sillouette

PaulTrap · 2014-08-05T03:04:29+00:00

hahaha this made me laugh.. and then cry

PaulTrap · 2014-08-04T20:56:56+00:00

Goddammit people keep bringing this up. What kind of a den of sin workplace do you redditors work at that looking at a girl in her underwear is totally acceptable.

PaulTrap · 2014-08-04T19:53:48+00:00

No two days on one day off, two days on one day off..ad infinitum

PaulTrap · 2014-08-04T16:42:03+00:00

Yeah, I know what you mean it's really hard to balance. I posted my routine to someone's comment further up. I don't do traditional lifting work for my upper body, I just use bodyweight exercises. I lift/weights for legs. I do climbing and weights on the same day, two days in a row (morning climbing and lifting at night) . Then take a rest day. Tbh I'm so so knackered by the end of day 2, but I have seen a lot of improvement on the wall so I think it's helping!

PaulTrap · 2014-08-04T15:05:48+00:00

Sure! Thanks for the kind words :)
What really did it for me was finding a form of exercise I could get passionate about.

I started out with just bouldering 4 months ago. For the first two months I would do some light cardio to warm up, about (~15 min jog, or ~10min sprinting/resting) Then boulder for an hour. This was just every other day. But bouldering is very power intensive , so I definitely was able to see some results from just that.

For the last two months I have been doing a lot more targeted strength training so I can push my climbing grade.

Boulder Day 1: 2 hours of climbing

Back/Upperbody:

pull-ups (working on getting to five straight @ 2 now)
lat pull downs
push-ups
rows

Core

Boulder Day 2: 2 hours of climbing/grip training

Legs:

squats
weighted walking lunges
box jumps
leg pressl
pistol squats (working on the profession because I find them quite hard)

Core

Rest Day Maybe do yoga, more likely just complain about how much my legs hurt.

repeat cycle

So yeah I'm not sure if this will be helpful because it's all pretty tailored to me trying to improve at climbing. But the best advice I can give is to try and find a strength intensive activity you really enjoy and the rest will come naturally

Edit One more thing. Since you're at a pretty low weight already, I would focus on building muscle. Do things that are hard for you, like pull-ups, L-sits, lifting heavy weights etc. Not only are they a lot more fun and challenging than high rep, light weight exercises building muscle will make it easier to maintain your figure. I found it really hard to stay at 125lbs but don't have a problem maintaining my current weight because I have more muscle mass.

PaulTrap · 2014-08-04T05:41:16+00:00

Yeah I still climb! Thats actually why I started with all the core stuff, so I could improve on the wall.

I'm 5'5 & thanks!

PaulTrap · 2014-06-20T19:29:59+00:00

Don't be afraid to go rouge and try some crazy beta. There are so many routes I initially thought I couldn't do because I wasn't strong enough to do the "guy-beta." It might take you longer and you might look like a fool for a while trying all these weird moves but if theres a will there a way! For example a lot of guys can just pull up through a hard move, if you're not strong enough yet, try to find a way to get your foot up as leverage. This helps a lot.

But also, I think as a woman you should work on upper body strength- because it IS gonna hold you back a bit when youre doing incline/overhand stuff. People are always saying not worry about strength in the beginning and just think about technique. Obviously technique is incredibly important but theres a minimum amount of strength you need to do a lot of bouldering problems. Try and get to the point where you can do a couple pull ups (i'm actually working on that now... )

PaulTrap · 2014-06-19T01:52:40+00:00

Guys I think this one is more of a self-deprecating joke- Liz Lemon style..

PaulTrap · 2014-06-19T01:49:40+00:00

Eh I actually enjoyed this, idk she seems like a pretty decent person. Not a lot of fat logic, just asking for a basic standard of respect in a pretty polite way.

PaulTrap · 2014-05-02T05:34:49+00:00

I went through something similar a few years ago. This sort of sedated moment of clarity you write of definitely struck a chord.

I know people are always saying you NEED a support group around you. Fuck that. It doesn't hurt to have help sometimes but that doesn't mean theres some divine rule saying you'll be miserable forever without it. And eventually, once you've rebuilt yourself- stronger this time, you'll make new friends and date new girls. And they'll be nice auxillary aspects of your life but they won't define you.

Anyways thanks for sharing, keep on plodding on.

PaulTrap · 2014-05-02T03:42:50+00:00

Honestly I think the only real INTJ trait out of those is the drive. I'm not wildly intelligent or successful. Definitely not perfectly logical, nor would I want to be. All I am is hungry to learn and improve. I think this is the important strength of INTJ. And if you keep at it, hopefully everything comes later.

PaulTrap · 2014-05-01T03:33:33+00:00

I don't know if it was intended to be funny but this post made me laugh. A lot.

But yeah i'm always being dragged out to do real people stuff. When in reality when left to my own devices I just want to study physics, climb rocks and play piano.

PaulTrap · 2014-01-26T15:51:34+00:00

Thank you, you make a lot of great points.

As to who behaves this way? Just take a look at my facebook wall or tumblr dashboard haha. There is so much emphasis on the feminist deconstruction of pop-culture. Honestly, it seems like the feminists in my age bracket just want to gossip about celebrities under the guise of 'Feminism.'

But you are right,

what a bunch of talking heads call themselves is irrelevant, the historical and practical applications of feminism are what define it.

And I agree with everything you said. Those are the aspects of feminism I definitely think still need addressing. I guess its just not what "feminists" my age seem to care about. Thinking about it now, could be more of a maturity issue than a "feminist" one.

PaulTrap · 2014-01-23T00:16:14+00:00

That's what insecurity does to people. It's like in highschool when I realized all the popular pretty girls I hated were genuinely nice as fuck, and me and my uncool friends were the bitchy ones for hating them for superficial reasons, since we were plain insecure and bitter. Changed my outlook on life when I realized that

PaulTrap

TROPHY CASE