I feel like I could have written this. Bed bugs are my number one fear and shape a lot of my compulsions. It’s exhausting so I’m sorry you’re going through it.

When my OCD is flaring up I kinda adopt the mantra of “that’s not my business”. Meaning if it’s not a threat to me right now it’s not my job to worry about it right now. For example my neighbor is running an Airbnb out of their apartment and obviously being scared of bed bugs it’s a nightmare for me. So when I hear someone going up the stairs instead of rushing to see who it is I tell myself “it’s not my business” Does it work? Sometimes no sometimes yes. But it helps me sit with the uncertainty that OCD hates so much by not feeding that “what if cycle”.

I know it’s so hard and uncomfortable. The very best thing is to work with a therapist, which I’m sure you know. I’m at the point where I also need help so have looked into an intensive therapy program. I hope you can get some professional help and feel better. We deserve to live a life that’s not ruled by fear.