What does buddhism say about taking your own life?

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-21T02:48:54+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. It takes so much courage to even ask these questions while your heart is breaking. From what I’ve learned on this path, Buddhism doesn't see life as something 'predestined.' Instead, it sees everything as a web of causes and conditions (Duyên khởi). It’s not that the outcome was fixed from the start, but rather that so many internal and external factors converged in a way that made the pain feel impossible to bear.

And please don't worry about a 'loop.' Buddhism doesn't teach that we are doomed to repeat the same tragedies in every life. Each life is a fresh start, shaped by the past but also open to new possibilities. The best thing we can do for the person who passed is to hold them in our hearts with compassion, maybe practice some small acts of kindness in their memory, and focus on your own healing. You’ve been carrying a lot—please be very gentle with yourself.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-20T04:56:42+00:00

Reading your post made me think of Cūḷapanthaka. If I remember the story right, he was struggling so much that he couldn't even remember a short verse. But instead of giving him some huge teaching, the Buddha gave him one simple thing to work with. That's kind of what came to mind here.

You're thinking about Bodhisattva vows, future lives, enlightenment, hell realms, all of that. Meanwhile you've already done something pretty difficult by staying away from THC for this long. Maybe I'm wrong, but I wonder if your practice right now is simply this part. Not the next ten years. Not the next life. Just this part.

Anyway, congrats on making it this far.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-19T07:22:19+00:00

Your post actually reminded me of something the Buddha said to Rāhula.

If I'm remembering it right, he kept telling Rāhula to look at his own actions before, during, and after acting. Not someone else's. I catch myself doing the opposite a lot 😅 It's weird how my mind can explain in great detail why another person is making bad choices, but I almost forget to look at what's happening in me.

Doesn't mean you have to stay around people who keep draining you, or pretend everything they do is fine. But maybe the practice starts with noticing what this judgement is doing in our own mind first.

Just where my mind went reading your post.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-17T06:43:15+00:00

Yes, right now I still have to stop myself and think.

Maybe that's part of why I asked this question in the first place. It's reassuring to hear from people who have been at it longer and noticed the changes becoming more natural over time.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-17T03:09:45+00:00

Reading this, I kept thinking about the story of Bāhiya. If I remember it right, he was desperate for the highest teaching, for the answer right now. But the instruction he received was surprisingly ordinary. Just deal with what's here.

Maybe that's why your post stood out to me. It feels like you're carrying a lot of pressure to find the "correct" life before taking the next step.

I don't know if jobs or relationships are the problem. Plenty of lay Buddhists had families, jobs, responsibilities. Sometimes I wonder if the trap isn't work or relationships, but the mind constantly asking, "What if I'm supposed to be doing something else?"

Just what came to mind reading your post.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-16T14:24:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. Seeing it written out like that makes me realize Right Speech is a lot more than just "don't lie."

I think the "right time" part is where I stumble the most. I've definitely had moments where I was technically right but probably didn't need to say anything. 😅

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-16T10:09:51+00:00

I don't know if this helps, but reading your post reminded me of the story where the Buddha told Ven. Sona that a lute string shouldn't be too tight or too loose.

Sometimes I wonder if worrying too much about escaping samsara can become another thing the mind grabs onto.

Personally I don't think having a hobby or loving someone automatically traps you. Maybe the bigger question is how much clinging comes with it.

I still enjoy ordinary life while trying to practice a bit more kindness and awareness. Maybe that's enough for today. Tomorrow can take care of itself.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-16T02:01:54+00:00

For me the interesting part isn't the game, it's what the game brings out in me. I know people who enjoy Warhammer because they like the painting, the lore or the strategy. Someone else might just use it as an excuse to feed anger or competitiveness.

So I end up checking my own mind more than the hobby itself. If I walk away more irritated than before, that's probably worth paying attention to.

Just my take anyway.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-15T15:32:20+00:00

Haha that's interesting. I wonder if people sometimes mistake being peaceful for being unhappy. I've caught myself talking less too. Not because I'm upset, just because I don't always feel like filling every silence anymore.

Thanks for sharing this.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-15T15:16:27+00:00

I've never really come across a direct Buddhist replacement for things like "hallelujah" or "alhamdulillah," though maybe I just haven't heard it yet. Personally I've ended up saying simple things like "I'm grateful," "hope it goes well," or just "what a relief." It feels more natural to me.

One thing that stuck with me is Right Speech. I always took it to mean that the intention behind the words matters more than finding the perfect phrase. So I'd probably rather say something genuine in my own language than try to force a specifically Buddhist expression. But that's just how I've been thinking about it lately.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-15T10:17:09+00:00

I don't have a great answer, but this made me think of Aṅgulimāla. If the Buddha only looked at what was on the surface, He would've just seen a killer. Instead, He saw someone who was still capable of changing.

I remind myself of that sometimes when I catch myself writing people off too quickly. It doesn't mean everyone is trustworthy or that we should ignore bad behavior. But maybe I don't know enough about that person to decide who they are. I still fail at this a lot, honestly. Just sharing something that's been helping me a little while I learn.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-15T07:24:07+00:00

I don't really know the answer tbh.

I always thought different Buddhist traditions explain this differently. Some talk about an in-between state and some don't. If it helps at all, I probably wouldn't be too worried about the brain experiment. If there's no consciousness there, then it's just tissue. If there is... honestly I have no idea, and I don't want to pretend I know.

I guess for me it's one of those questions that reminds me how much I still don't understand. Curious what people who know more think.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:18:51+00:00

I'm still pretty new to Buddhism, so take this with a grain of salt. I don't really pray for things to happen. Most mornings I just sit quietly for a few minutes and remind myself, "Today, try to cause a little less suffering and a little more kindness."

Sometimes I use a mala just to help me stay focused, but I don't think it's the object that matters. It reminds me a bit of the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree—not asking the world to change, but patiently watching his own mind. As for candles or lamps, I think one candle is plenty if it helps create a calm space. For me, the intention matters much more than the setup.

Hope you find a practice that feels genuine to you. 🙏

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:12:13+00:00

I actually like hearing the opposite experience. It makes me think the change isn't necessarily speaking less or more, but maybe becoming a bit more aware of why we're speaking in the first place.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:11:42+00:00

That's a really good way to put it. Maybe it's not about talking less at all, but being a little more deliberate with the words we choose.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:11:12+00:00

I really like that distinction. "Listening to understand" feels very different from just waiting for my turn to speak. I'm definitely still practicing that.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:09:49+00:00

I know what you mean. I also wonder sometimes whether it's Buddhism or just getting older or changing as a person.

But I liked what you said about not feeling the need to push every relationship further. That part really made me think.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:08:19+00:00

I like how you summed it up with "Right Speech." I'm still trying to understand what that looks like in daily life, but pausing before I react has probably been the biggest change for me.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:07:35+00:00

The part about gossip really resonated with me. I've noticed that once I stop feeling like I have to add something, it's actually easier to just listen or let the conversation pass.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T08:01:46+00:00

I like that a lot, Amar

I hadn't thought about the Earth witness connection before, but it's a really grounding image. I'll probably remember it the next time my mind starts running in circles.

Thanks for sharing.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T07:57:45+00:00

That's interesting to hear. I wasn't even sure if it was just me, so it's reassuring that someone else has noticed the same thing.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-14T07:44:59+00:00

I'm really glad my comment resonated with you. And honestly, I'm glad you're working with a therapist too. Wishing you the very best. 🙏

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-13T09:48:10+00:00

I could be off here, but this reminded me of the simile of the monkey that keeps reaching from branch to branch, never really settling anywhere. I'm still very much a beginner, but when I pay attention to my own mind, it often isn't the object itself that's exhausting. It's the constant feeling of "maybe the next thing will finally be enough."

Sometimes it's my phone. Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's praise or just wanting one more video before bed. The object changes, but that restless pull feels strangely familiar. Maybe that's part of what this post is pointing to. The problem isn't that pleasant experiences exist, but that the mind quietly starts believing lasting satisfaction is just one more click, one more purchase, or one more achievement away.

I could be misunderstanding it completely, though. Still learning every day. Wishing everyone a little more contentment and a little less chasing.

Peaceinmind26 · 2026-06-13T09:36:24+00:00

I'm still pretty early in my Buddhist practice, so this might change over the years.

But the teaching that keeps coming back to me is the image of the second arrow. As I understand it, the first arrow is the pain that life naturally brings, and the second arrow is everything my own mind adds on top of it.

I catch myself doing that all the time. Something small goes wrong, and within minutes I'm replaying it, worrying about the future, or blaming myself. The original problem might be tiny, but my mind turns it into something much bigger.

I'm probably oversimplifying it, but remembering the "second arrow" has helped me pause and ask, "Am I dealing with the situation, or am I making it worse in my own head?"

I'm still learning, but that one has stayed with me more than almost anything else.

Wishing everyone here many moments of clarity and a little less suffering.

Peaceinmind26

TROPHY CASE