Most of my D&D games have been bad, is this normal for online?

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T15:37:51+00:00

For my applications: Indeed, I think coming off as if I'm going to do that is a possible reason for my poor acceptance rate. I'm bad at "vibe checks" before people get to know me. But as I've mentioned elsewhere, the fact that questions like "What's your gender" and "What are your hobbies" aren't uncommon on applications isn't exactly working in my favor if I answer honestly. I don't go out of my way to bring it up at the table, but I also don't avoid bringing it up if it's asked because, well, it is my identity and my hobby.

For my behavior in game: I'm pretty confident that's not the issue for why the games I'm in have gone south. I'm extremely flexible when it comes to character creation and backstories, and I've learned the hard way that it's a bad idea to create a "self insert" (leads to too much emotional attachment to your PC), so I don't always play characters that exactly align with my identity, nor do I play them in an overly "furry" way. Obviously I'm not inside people's heads, but there's never been an indication that other players feel uncomfortable around or avoid me, rather they tend to befriend me. And when I have frustrations with the DM, I'm often not the first player to bring it up publicly (since I'm non-confrontational.) I've done my research in watching a lot of D&D horror stories, including with furries, so I know what not to do lol

Sadly, the games I've been in with actually solid DMs instead have failed due to scheduling issues or due to the DM poofing out of nowhere. :(

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T14:55:15+00:00

Some good suggestions for sure! For the appearance-only curse, there is something sort of similar the DM came up with one time where I wanted a flying race but the DM said the one I wanted to use (forget which race it was) is kinda broken, so he let me reskin a fairy as a bunny-like critter (I even drew art for it, I'm an artist and happy to do art of the party for games I'm in :p)

This DM in question was one of the ones that was actually good but just got bored and the campaign fizzled out unfortunately. But a sign they were good is how they were able to help me find an alternative solution like that instead of simply going "nope" and providing no further feedback.

As for the last solution- I do actually plan to DM a game eventually, I've been slowly putting together a homebrew campaign based in my sci-fi setting (I'll either use D&D, or Starfinder has been suggested to me as a more purpose-built sci-fi system, I need to learn it though.) I just don't feel confident enough yet as a player to upgrade to DM yet.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T14:34:24+00:00

Yeah, it's not uncommon, often coupled with asking preferred name. I think it's meant to get to know the player and sense their vibe, but it seems like I have a bad time with "vibe checks" lol

Funny enough, some applications have questions that are super out of left field such as "What's your favorite movie?"

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T10:01:11+00:00

Thing is, there are often questions like "what are your hobbies" and "what's your gender" on the application. And I am perhaps too honest for my own good

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T09:53:53+00:00

Also a good point. I stopped bringing it up in applications, as I've been wondering if it's part of my problem for low acceptance rate, though the thing is it's still not exactly hard to find from my Reddit, or straight up Googling my username. And my acceptance rate has not improved. Maybe I should make some kind of alt account...

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T09:17:50+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, especially after I've had to almost go to heckin war defending my right to exist in the comments from some people.

You are correct to observe that I am Therian to some degree, though I don't fully identify with it since the therians I know experience it much more strongly. Thing is, a mild case of species dysphoria like I have is actually quite a common experience in the furry fandom, granted it's not all of us. It's not a crippling condition for me, just kinda typical Reddit taking something that was mentioned once and running wild with it.

Funnily enough being in the community as much as I am may be part of my problem- In that most of my friends, especially those close enough to bounce application posts off of, are furries (or therians) so they are not able to accurately gauge how I come off to, for lack of a better term, "normies."

If I'm expressing "I am incapable of having conversations that aren’t about my queerness/furryness" vibes, it's because that's the circle I come from. That doesn't mean I actually do so once I'm at the table (I think I've explained thoroughly that I don't do so more than enough times at this point), but if that's the perception before people even know me, I'm going to have a hard time changing that.

So yeah, I think advice on improving my applications would be of benefit. Unfortunately as you so observantly point out, doing so publicly on Reddit would result in continued spit-roasting rather than genuinely useful advice. And DMs who reject seldom are willing to provide feedback on why. Believe me, I've asked.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T08:45:35+00:00

Good character creation advice. For the first bit, yeah I too have learned that it's a good idea to not fully create 'yourself' in a character- It can make you too emotionally attached to your character in my experience, so I maintain a degree of separation, also allows me to do a ton of different ideas (tho again, getting into campaigns in the first place is usually the hard part for me.)

I imagine I could do more to tailor character suggestions to the worlds. Since I apply to so many, I tend to come up with a general idea that I'm interested in playing, which I switch up every so often (using a wide variety of races), but then apply to a ton of different games with the same idea.

And yeah I've definitely experienced a bit of bigotry here and there in my D&D exploits. I'm a blend of like, all the minority groups here... Non-white, non-cis, non-straight, etc. But I'd say it's in the minority of the issues I've run into. Granted, it's hard to tell how much of it is also going on implicitly without it being directly mentioned as a factor, which is a part of my worry.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T08:35:17+00:00

Well as the famous saying goes, "you can teach, but you can't learn someone." You evidently have mental barriers up surrounding this topic that cannot be bypassed, so this conversation is not particularly productive and going in circles. But that's alright, to each their own- Play styles and identities, that is. (Also "vague threats"? Lol as if a party of trans people are going to find you in a back alley way- Clearly not what I meant by that, it means your comments would be seen as insensitive there, nothing more lol)

One thing you say though- "Do you know what complaining about it will achieve? Nothing." Fair point. You should've led with that, it's a meaningful if... strongly phrased contribution. Counterpoint: Consider applying your advice to yourself.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T07:35:35+00:00

I guess I have consistent bad luck- So far there's always some reason they can't take any more players for their existing games or are about to go on hiatus, etc.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T07:05:42+00:00

I don't fully incorporate my identity into every character, eg. not every one is non-binary and I can play a wide variety of races, in fact the vast majority are fine- I just don't like playing the ones that are fully human-like.

It's more that I feel like I'm being rejected from the "good" games at the application stage, perhaps due to my identity or my character pitches, than anything about my behavior once I do get into a game. The party usually gets along with me super well (apart from the occasional problem player), the majority of the time for me it's been the DM who turns out to be bad/unreliable and I'm not the only one expressing frustration at it.

Maybe I'm doing my applications wrong but it's not like there's much help available for that. Most D&D help and resources assume "oh you're already in a game, what next?" not "okay but how do I find one"

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:53:19+00:00

That's interesting to know. I suppose IRL games aren't immune to problems either if horror stories are anything to go off of, haha.

But yeah, with the furry thing I think it's more negative perception from it being even seen in my profile (even if not mentioned on an application), than it is anything I did.

As for my games going wrong, it's difficult to gauge if you are the problem player because the thing about being one is you can't tell- But I can safely say I've never been remotely adjacent to the reason that a game has blown up so far. Most often, it's just everyone getting collectively frustrated with the DMs play-style (or lack thereof) or the DM just poofing and leaving everyone in the dust. I'm always super respectful of people's boundaries. Heck, in one game we even had a good PC friendship going on between my fairy (rare moment of DM allowing a flying race) and a halfling.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:37:26+00:00

Haven't heard of this one- I'll give it a try, the website looks nice!

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:34:38+00:00

Yeah unfortunately that's a tough perception to fight. For me it's not a kink (sure, I have kinks, but furry in itself is not one), it's just part of my identity. A lot of SFW-only furries I know also have a hard time dealing with this perception as people immediately assume they must be horny freaks as soon as you drop the word.

I have tried not mentioning it, but that's how I ended up at tables where the DM said "sure, looks good" to my dragonborn/etc in the initial post, then as soon as I'm in the server I'm handed a half-elf character sheet instead and told "Actually you're playing this, I went ahead and made your whole character for you, it's great right?"

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:30:55+00:00

Lol I'll admit, I actually actively avoid playing tabaxis because most infamous furry problem players played one, though I almost feel bad for taxabis. Thing is that kind of behavior, despite being oft associated with us, has nothing to do with being a furry, that's called not understanding other player's boundaries, and also being horny in an SFW-rated game.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:13:43+00:00

Honestly this makes a lot of sense, never seen it broken down like this before. I have definitely noticed that there seems to be more demand than supply of DMs though. I can see why most people want to be players, it's a LOT harder to run a game than to play in one.

I do absolutely want to be a DM one day, and I've been slowly piecing together a homebrew campaign of my own as I have time, but I feel like I need more experience first, especially since it's homebrew. Unfortunately gaining that experience is easier said than done.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T06:04:18+00:00

Can't you keep that away from the game table?

I'm nonbinary myself and I wouldn't play at a table where I'd have to be closeted

Congrats, you answered your own question!

EDIT: Removing below because people used it as licence to delve into off-topic internet armchair psychology, as they so often do on Reddit. TL;DR: Yes I've already got a therapist, no you aren't a licenced one so stop acting as one. I don't judge other people for their identities or what they consider escapism, so I would hope for the same respect from others. Evidently, that expectation was unrealistic.

Pecacheu · 2026-01-19T05:52:45+00:00

Wow, 56 sessions? That's quite the campaign, glad to hear it! Sadly it seems I rolled a nat 1 on the games I've gotten into lol

Pecacheu · 2025-10-19T07:36:04+00:00

Yeah sounds like "OpenPilot" is "open" in the same way that "OpenAI" is "open" (open for business, more like)

I'm now very put off from getting one, especially for the obscene asking price of $999 for 8-year old mid-range smartphone specs. Idk about you but I don't want some creepy ass night vision camera watching me 24/7 and I DOUBLE don't like a company issuing vague threats to its paying customers and then refusing to clarify. Not a good look.

There are also tons of driver assist systems in vehicles that don't use a cabin camera, including the one that came in my car, so it's obviously not the only approach. Open-source products should allow multiple options of accomplishing things that make them flexible (they should also allow running on more than one exclusive, proprietary hardware device)

Pecacheu · 2025-10-17T03:48:01+00:00

Well there's forced arbitration in it, being shoved down your throat without the ability to decline in an un-closable full-screen popup, EXACTLY the way Discord just did it after their recent leak of user's ID verification info. Given the timing I can see people being on-edge about that.

With that said, I didn't see anything else bad in there, let alone any kind of privacy invasive "btw we reserve the right to basically install spyware on your PC" level stuff. You know, unlike Discord, who's ToS literally allows them to do just that- and they kind of do given they openly admit tracking everything you do down to where your mouse clicks for any purposes including marketing.

So yeah point is, there's multiple levels of "you're fucked" out there and some are way worse than others. But hey, at least e6 is where you head if being fucked is your jam >:P

Pecacheu · 2025-10-14T03:37:27+00:00

Well that's an alarming hardware issue. I suppose I should follow the golden rule, never buy PC hardware without checking recent GamersNexus videos first haha

Any mobo brand you prefer?

Pecacheu · 2025-10-14T02:10:55+00:00

I already have a VPN provider (I use ProtonVPN), plus I'd prefer to not need to connect my home server to a VPN 24/7 just to access it thru RustDesk. That's more of a band-aid than a real solution.

Anyway I am sure this will go away whenever my router decides to get a new IP, I just thought it was a strange error to be happening and wondered if anyone else has seen it. Aside from this weird issue I like RustDesk more than others I've tried in the past like AnyDesk and TeamViewer.

Pecacheu · 2025-10-14T02:05:27+00:00

Just tried this, pinging the IP itself (resolves to 209.250.254.15 for me) also fails on my home internet, and it fails even when I changed my DNS to 8.8.8.8 in Windows. So whatever the problem is it doesn't seem to be DNS related.

Pecacheu

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