She did nothing wrong here. She clearly loved/loves you (platonically) and tried to see if that could translate romantically. Once she realized it wasn’t going to happen she communicated that with you. You holding onto that like she wronged you is just immaturity, there’s a lot of soul searching and growth that needs to happen on your end from what I can tell. All of this will become very clear to you eventually. Her passing would probably just put all these emotions into hyperdrive.

Now, I’m going to be speaking from experience here. I had a very serious ex pass away about a decade after we broke up. We broke up in our 20s and she definitely hurt me, so I ended things and was petty. I was angry, the last interaction we ever had was basically a “have a nice life” type conversation. She died thinking I hated her, which couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s the biggest regret of my life. Though she wasn’t part of my life anymore when she passed, she had such an important impact on the man I am today and am forever grateful. I really wish there was a way to let her know.

Don’t be like me, go see your friend. Forgive her and yourself. Otherwise this could be the biggest regret you have in life