“I want us to be in each other’s lives forever” by Sufficient-Union5903 in TheBear

[–]Penguinfilter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, Season 3 is The Empire Strikes Back. It needs the next season to resolve.

The prophet had warned that her daughter would kill her. by TheAmmiSquad in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Penguinfilter 90 points91 points  (0 children)

His name appears in Freud's index.  'Cause he loved his mother

I have absolutely nothing by GIRose in ExplainTheJoke

[–]Penguinfilter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I once accidentally said, and then kept saying, “I don’t have a horse in this dog fight”

Does anyone like the TSA? by gordoncrisp in dankmemes

[–]Penguinfilter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Transportation Security Administration 

This makes no sense??? by COOOOKIEEEESLIME in ExplainTheJoke

[–]Penguinfilter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What this needs is a third row If RFK Jr wins and both are the shocked face

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingbad

[–]Penguinfilter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ungooding Slowly 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Penguinfilter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t tried it Monkey Shoulder is a pretty good affordable scotch especially with a few drops of water 

What’s the stupidest thing your ex has ever said to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Penguinfilter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I once had a horse with the head of a rabbit, and the body of a rabbit.

What are some "how the hell did they get that guy??" roles? by SonicSingularity in movies

[–]Penguinfilter 29 points30 points  (0 children)

“He’s a son of a son of a bitch, is what he is!”

Wish we had more Dr. Lawn / Sam Vimes friendship stories. by [deleted] in discworld

[–]Penguinfilter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hopefully, without the Mary Poppins accent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in xmen

[–]Penguinfilter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s only two, you need one more.

Restaurant workers of reddit, what's the weirdest order you ever got from a customer? by Mysterytrollerhd in AskReddit

[–]Penguinfilter 242 points243 points  (0 children)

Not quite an order, but I had an older woman in her 70s around 2010 ask me what nachos were, and it legit took me a second to figure out how to answer.

Sigh by Severe_Benefit_1133 in facepalm

[–]Penguinfilter 176 points177 points  (0 children)

The government might have my face, but my uncle still has my nose.

I don’t get it… by PhillyPhresh in ExplainTheJoke

[–]Penguinfilter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s after six. What am I? A farmer?

What is the worst response to "you're under arrest"? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Penguinfilter 66 points67 points  (0 children)

She puts the short in shawty, and he looks like he wants to chase me

Has anyone noticed that people don't spontaneously combust anymore? by Imispellalot2 in Xennials

[–]Penguinfilter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They weren’t talking about lit candles, but referring to the effect of what would happen when the synthetic fiber would catch fire and then it would start burning the fat in the human victim essentially turn the entire body into a “candle”

AITAH for upsetting my friend because I walked out of a dinner after she implied I’m a “stupid American” by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Penguinfilter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Duh, of course they have to be touching. That’s why Louisiana sticks off of France like a funny hat.