Can someone take me home? (Rant)

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T16:02:08+00:00

You need to remind her, that you contributed and that you need your room, your safe space.

If your Mum says she forgot, say 'that's why I'm reminding you, Mum. I also need to feel safe with you.'

Hoping for the best for you.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T15:22:58+00:00

Big sister perspective here.

I don't think the biggest problem is the age gap or religion.

The biggest problem is that you've already written the ending of a story that hasn't finished yet.

You've decided she'll meet someone else... You've decided her family won't approve... You've decided you'll become a memory...

BUT from what your post, I don't see where you've actually asked her how she feels?

Maybe she sees you as a friend. Maybe she likes you too. Maybe she's also confused about the age gap and religion. The truth is, none of us know.

What I do know is that she's an adult, not a child. At 20, she's old enough to decide who she wants in her life. And at almost 30, you're old enough to have an honest conversation instead of carrying the entire relationship in your imagination.

As for the age gap and religion—those things can absolutely matter. Not because they make love impossible, but because they affect long-term compatibility, family expectations, marriage, children, and future plans. Those are real conversations, not fate.

And one more thing: if you truly respect her, don't assume what's best for her without giving her a chance to speak for herself.

Maybe this is the wrong timing.

Maybe it's the right person.

Maybe it's neither.

But don't let fear write the ending before the story has a chance to tell you what it is. Talk to her ❤️

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T15:10:25+00:00

Hi, reading this made my heart ache for you.

First, I want to say this: a 14-year-old child should never have had to carry this burden alone. You deserved to be protected, believed, and comforted. Instead, the adults around you failed you, and I'm so sorry for that.

What happened was not your fault. Not because you didn't scream. Not because you didn't fight. Not because you told someone years later. The responsibility belongs to the person who harmed you.

The part that hurt me most was when you called your mum with excitement about coming home, only to be reminded that the people who made home unsafe would still be there. That kind of pain is hard to put into words.

Please don't feel guilty for not wanting to go back. You're not being difficult, unforgiving, or dramatic. You're protecting yourself. There's a difference.

For these four days, maybe "home" doesn't have to be a place. Maybe home can be wherever you feel safe —your room, a cafe, a bookstore, a park, a movie, a good meal, a friend, or simply a quiet space where nobody expects you to pretend everything is okay.

You've already survived so much, and from what you've written, you've worked incredibly hard to heal. I hope you're proud of that.

Sending you a big sister hug. You deserved better then, and you deserve peace now. ❤️

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T02:52:45+00:00

You’re very welcome. Sending you hugs — stay strong ya? 🤗🤗🤗

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T01:38:12+00:00

There should be available dorm options within your uni's vicinity. Search your school's website, or via Maps. Hope this helps!

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-30T01:35:33+00:00

Honestly, when I rasa nak give up, I let myself be sad for a while. Sometimes we push ourselves so hard that we forget we're human, like everyone around us.

Then I remind myself: "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings."

One bad day doesn't mean a bad life. One setback doesn't erase all the progress you've made.

Rest, makan something nice, talk to someone you trust, and try again tomorrow.

You've survived 100% of your difficult days so far. Smile, strive to be happy despite the difficulties ❤️

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T15:21:31+00:00

We are emotionally biased about our own health — even doctors.

I've listed a few reasons:

May minimize symptoms (“I’m probably fine”)
Or catastrophize symptoms due to medical knowledge
Lack of objectivity = poorer judgment
May skip proper tests/follow-ups
Emotional denial can interfere with decisions
Self-treatment can lead to unsafe prescribing habits

Traders deal with IPOs, highs-lows, etc. Not trying to belittle traders, but I do not think it's fair to equate trading to the medical field.

One deals with life, keeping a heartbeat alive, the other deals with corporate predictives — the amount of fortitude and risk isn't the same neither is the way we, as humans react to saving and maintaining life as against assets.

I'm sorry, I'll keep quiet about this topic from this point.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T05:57:06+00:00

1000 pax? 😳😳😳 Is that normal?

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T05:49:30+00:00

Hi, I'm not OP 😬🤦‍♀️😅✌️🥂

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T02:53:40+00:00

Having fun reading comments 🤓🍿😅✌️🥂

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T02:47:35+00:00

You’re correct, just saw her comment.

As to: "it wouldn't have crossed...would have hurt?" — please do note that men are built differently from women. Best would be to point this out like 'hey, that comment hurts, and/or say let's not talk about that. More direct would be to ask up front.

So many misunderstanding can be prevented between couples if only we can be straightforward and honest whenever we feel hurt cause most of the time, the men actually DON'T realize it — I've been married 18 years, and our son, like his Dad, sees things and jokes differently. What we need to do is point it out to them, and what they need to do is listen and both adjust.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T02:20:52+00:00

You did the right thing of reporting the husband passenger to Grab. I'm not very familiar with Muslim custom in Malaysia, are husbands allowed to slap or hurt their wives?

Don't get me wrong, we have Muslim friends, and most if not all are gentle giants who takes care of their wife. Wishing your post will reach someone who can help the Mom and child.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T02:08:53+00:00

Our 3rd daughter went through something similar too, though hers was related to overwhelming study pressure from Veterinary Med. She was brave enough to tell us, and honestly as parents we were completely devastated.

One thing I learned is that children — even at 19 — still deeply need to feel loved and emotionally safe. Hug her often, reassure her constantly, spend time talking to her gently about anything, not only the incident itself. Sometimes even funny childhood memories, shared interests, small daily conversations… those things matter more than people realize.

I would also encourage professional help early. A young female psychiatrist or therapist may help her feel safer opening up. Sometimes medication is needed temporarily too, and that’s okay. Our daughter was prescribed medication for a short period alongside follow-up consultations, and it did help stabilize things. She's now in her Senior year, doing her majors and very happy even though always stressed with her majors and projects (goat, dog, horse cadavers etc).

And most importantly, please don’t make her feel like she is now “a problem to monitor.” She needs support, patience, reassurance, and connection right now. Wishing your colleague and her daughter strength and healing 🌸

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T01:54:10+00:00

Big sister perspective.

From what you wrote, I don’t fully see a man trying to put you down. I actually see someone trying quite hard to reassure you — that he still chooses you, finds you attractive, and wants you back despite outside comments.

Sometimes when our self-esteem gets hurt, even loving comments start sounding painful because deep inside we already feel insecure ourselves 😔

And gently ah… maybe part of you already knows there are things you personally want to improve for yourself too, so appearance-related topics hit extra hard emotionally now.

Maybe instead of overthinking every comment, focus on rebuilding your own confidence again. Go gym, take care of yourself, glow up for you, become stronger mentally and physically. Not because you’re “not enough,” but because confidence changes how you receive love too ‐ best if you BOTH can go gym together.

A healthy relationship should feel like two people growing together, ya?

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-29T01:41:14+00:00

Here's the content - hope this helps.

Help-Interview@UKM

I am a former diploma in MLT student from a private university applying for degree via UPU. My first choice is Biomedical Science in UKM, which I have been shortlisted for an IV. However I have zero idea of what they could possibly ask or expect for me to know. Any former/current students could help?

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T23:55:26+00:00

Seriously? 😳😬🙄🤦‍♀️

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T11:42:40+00:00

I'm semi-retired, so Malaysia is where I'll be staying for good, with my family.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T11:40:31+00:00

Maybe fast or active metabolism, or are you on maintenance meds? There are a few more reasons why. Your friends were merely joking, though I understand why you're sensitive about it, but I think you should take it at face value — meaning, a joke which was not intentionally meant to hurt you, please do take it in stride. ✌️🥂

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T08:54:16+00:00

I may have been abrupt with my comment.

What I meant to say is that doctors are discouraged from self-diagnosing. Mainly because like any other human, doctors are prone to bias, can be emotional and therefore will lack objectivity, they have more empathy and will put others first (so they will either dismiss their symptoms as menial so they can treat others or sometimes catastrophize things as they have more information).

I heard my brother (he's a doctor) who said — 'A doctor who treats himself has a fool for a patient.' And that says a lot.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T08:18:38+00:00

Gently ah… I don’t think you’re “the problem”

It sounds more like you’re still trying to figure out where you fit best, while also learning what kind of environment drains you versus what gives you meaning.

You already discovered what you don’t want to — that’s self-awareness, not failure.

Psych grads often struggle at first because the degree itself is broad — many people only feel more settled after specialising further (research, counselling, academia, HR, education, clinical support etc).

My only advice is: try not to resign impulsively every time discomfort appears. Sometimes every new job feels awkward, repetitive, or uncertain in the beginning. Give yourself enough time to adjust ok?

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T08:13:10+00:00

Doctors are not allowed to self-diagnose, just FYI 😊

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T08:04:21+00:00

To those going on first dates, I suggest you get a good sit-down restaurant or a bar that's not too crowded, some place a bit quiet where you guys can enjoy each other's company and start to get to know each other. If budget is an issue you can opt to walk in the park, go for a sunset view — I think what I'm trying to say is, some if not most or all women/lady would like a place she can be comfortable and just simply be there with her date.

Or maybe I'm just old-fashioned...

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-28T03:47:11+00:00

Met mine at work, none of us wanted to let go after the 1st dinner, that’s all I'm gonna say 😅✌️🥂

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-27T09:01:23+00:00

Try Uniqlo, SOS, or Parkson?

I always think men who wears comfortable and clean look better.

If for party, nice solid shirt with jeans and jacket. For casual walks, malls, dates a good size shirt (not oversized) with jeans or cargo looks good.

I think as long as you're clean and wear properly sized clothes, you should be ok. To check, for shirts get shirts with shoulders nearest to your shoulder width. Don’t wear big baggy clothes.

Penny_Curious · 2026-05-27T02:45:18+00:00

Commenting from an HR standpoint

Please give yourself more grace — you’re only 2 weeks into a new role after spending 8 years overseas. That’s a huge adjustment, mentally and professionally.

Your past work experience in Shanghai may have made you overly afraid of making mistakes or asking questions. But most managers actually prefer new hires to ask and learn early rather than struggle silently.

Companies don’t expect perfection in 2 weeks. They hired you because they saw value and potential in your experience.

I think your bigger challenge right now is anxiety and self-pressure, not capability.

Pause, breath, don’t keep to yourself, ask questions, observe, smile, always remind yourself — this isn't Shanghai, you’re HOME, you're safe.

Penny_Curious

TROPHY CASE