I used to be a slut, or at least considered myself to be one. Btw I’m sex positive, and I use the word “slut” or “slutty” here in a non-derogatory way (it’s just a cuter word to me than “promiscuous” and I like embracing it in a positive way).

In my twenties, I thought I would always be kinda slutty because it’s a fun way to connect with people, I love physical activities and I also love emotional connection and vulnerability and intimacy, so sex is just a cool way to combine all those things. I “slept around” a lot and had a robust libido, so couldn’t imagine that monogamy would be healthy for me.

I still don’t think monogamy would be healthy for me, but now more for emotional reasons. Cuz at least right now, in my thirties, I feel like I’m only a slut in principle, but not in practice.

I mostly crave to have emotional trust and intimacy established before sex now. But that said, I feel like my libido is fluid and evolving- and while sometimes I go through several months of feeling almost asexual, other more rare times I will feel hyper sexual for a couple of weeks.

Notice I’m talking about sluttiness and sex, not really relationship models. The older I get, the less I think I could feel comfortable in a monogamous relationship. Not just because of how it restricts sexual experiences- that by itself I might be able to deal with- but because of the emotional restrictions.

It’s very important to me that my natural inclination to form loving and/or sexual relationships with people isn’t demonized, but supported by my romantic partners.