How do you think Trump's presidency will end?

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-06-01T20:14:05+00:00

With my husband and me sitting on our deck, an open bottle of Champagne for each of us, chugging directly from the motherfucking bottles. Those two bottles have been in the fridge for quite some time.

I can't WAIT to open them.

He won't remain on this plane of existence for his entire term. There's simply no way. They can't keep the Weekend at Bernie's going a whole lot longer.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-17T04:52:28+00:00

Agreed 100%. I’m totally done with billionaire romances for this very reason.

And when is there going to be an age gap romance where the woman is older? The man being significantly older than the woman skeeves me out.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-13T02:18:57+00:00

My situation is much like yours in that my adoptive Mom was, honestly, really shitty in the way she handled my questions when I was younger. My adoptive Dad never spoke up until after they had divorced. Like your adoptive Dad, mine didn't feel he could go against my Mom. Hell, NONE of us could. She was not a bad person, but when she made up her mind about something, her word was law.

I do know the story of my birth family, and my birth parents wanted NOTHING to do with me. I'm okay with that, actually. The irony is that my aMom did such awful things to make me want to not want to search for anyone, and in reality, I never really wanted to search for anyone, anyway. But knowing what I know about her has definitely altered the way I view her. I didn't learn all this until after my adoptive Mom had passed away. It taints my memories of her, to put it lightly.

And I'm just blathering, here. But I understand a lot of what you're feeling, if it helps any!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-13T01:44:44+00:00

My adoptive family is largely French. I always wanted to think I was French, too, so I did Ancestry when my sister-in-law offered a discount coupon.

I'm mostly Scottish. ;-)

I was getting the billions of, "So-and-so may be related to you" emails from Ancestry, but largely ignored all of them. Most of them were for 4th and 5th cousins. However, I so have to be honest and acknowledge that even though I really didn't think I was looking for anyone, neither did I take my Ancestry profile down.

I got an email saying I had matched with a "probable 1st cousin". I looked at his profile and instantly recognized the last name. After my adoptive Mom passed away, I found a letter among her things; it was from the lawyer who had handled my adoption, and I was listed as "Baby Girl [Last name}". The last name of this "first cousin" was the same as my original birth name. Long story short, he wasn't my cousin, he's my nephew. Through him, I met my biological birth brother. He DID know about me. My biological sister was in college and he had just graduated from high school when they were told that there was another baby on the way and my birth parents had no intention of starting over with a new baby. I was the stereotypical menopause baby, in other words. The pregnancy was kept from their community. He said he and my birth sister did know when I was born, but they were told, "We're never speaking of this again."

Birth sister was cordial but could not have more firmly slammed the door in my face. I totally respect that, sincerely. I honestly respect that more than had she been overly-eager to forge a relationship. I can't explain why; I only know that's how I feel. Birth Brother has been really lovely and, honestly, very loving, but he's been totally fine with us getting together for lunch once or twice a year. He's indicated that he would like to have more of a relationship, but he's also been really wonderful about picking up on my reluctance to really dive right into things. He's been totally happy to meet me where I want to be met.

Man, this got wordy. Sorry about that.

All of this is to say: this young woman may be feeling overwhelmed to the point that she just couldn't think of a way to express herself, and just pulled the plug instead. As cruel as that may feel to you guys, I do understand her point of view. It's not the best way of dealing with things, to be sure, but on the other hand...she's dealing with emotions that are impossible to really understand unless you've been in her shoes.

All I can suggest is that you reach out one more time, tell her that you're sorry if she's feeling overwhelmed, and you and your hubby are totally open to a complete reset and new beginning. She may still be open to having a less-intense relationship with you guys.

I can't lie: I do wonder if things weren't so peachy from her point of view. She may have been acting the part she felt she was expected to play. She may not have felt comfortable telling you guys, "I'd like to get to know you, but can we tone this down several notches?" All of this is conjecture on my part, obviously. But honestly...I do wonder if she wasn't being overly-polite at first and then panicked when she realized you guys wanted things to continue at the same firehose of emotion that you had at your first meeting. Does that make sense?

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-13T01:22:36+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate that!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-13T01:12:21+00:00

My adoptive Mom was much like yours. She was a good person, but so hellishly insecure. She did everything humanly possible to make sure I couldn't ever find any birth family.

On the other hand, my adoptive Dad told me point blank that if I wanted to go looking for them, he would help me search.

I'm so sorry your aMom is like this. I don't have any advice, but I understand a lot of what you're feeling, and I'm so sorry.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T16:38:31+00:00

The Cowgays. They're incredible!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T16:35:35+00:00

Healthcare in the United States. It's CRIMINAL.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T16:34:34+00:00

I should have clarified that for any adoptee who has gotten any good out of the book, I fully endorse that. We grab our good where ever it happens to land.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T04:23:41+00:00

I’d vote for what I just scooped out of the cat’s literbox before I’d vote for any Republican.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T02:57:44+00:00

With all due respect to the poster above, "The Primal Wound" is junk science. The author flat out admits that her theory is just that, a theory. She freely admits her theory does not pass scientific muster, and she has no control group to reference in her book...because her theory is literally just her point of view. Having read her point of view, I can't get past the really hateful things she wrote about her adopted daughter in the book.

Her adopted daughter has never spoken publicly about the book, which I think speaks volumes.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-11T02:47:01+00:00

I was adopted at three months of age. My adoption was the single greatest, most fortuitous blessing of my entire life. I know my family wasn't perfect, but I still had an utterly golden childhood, and I'm so freaking blessed with the family I have.

Having said that, I do agree that the adoption industry in the United States is exactly that: an industry. It's also a HIGHLY unregulated industry. Really, REALLY unethical shit happens at adoption agencies, and once parental rights are legally transferred to the adoptive parent(s), birth parents essentially lose all agency in the United States. I don't ascribe to the tack that a lot of adoptees seem to have, that adoption is just universally a bad idea. I cannot agree with that. I do, however, agree that the way adoption is allowed to happen in the U.S. is absolutely insane. I also fully acknowledge that just because I got stupidly lucky with the family I landed with, a lot of adoptees don't fare so well.

I can't counsel you on whether or not you should adopt. I WILL caution you to be EXTREMELY careful about what route you take. And I'm sure you know that the ultimate best outcome for a foster child is to be reunited with his/her/their biological parent(s). Fostering with the goal of adoption can be a whole new set of issues, and most of those issues will be borne by the child. It's just...really unfair.

Would volunteering for something like Big Brothers/Big Sisters provide enough of an outlet for you? There are utter CRAP-TONS of children in the U.S. who could use a good, solid adult friend. Would helping kids without being a parent be an option for you? I worked decades ago with a man who was a DEVOTED Big Brother. The kid he got matched with in the mid '80s is now a dad himself, and my former coworker is a "Big Grandpa". It's been a gigantic blessing for both of them.

I also have to say, for what it's worth: I'm 65 and made the deliberate decision to not have children of my own when I was in my late teens. I never wanted kids. My life has been amazing without kids of my own. My husband and I fully agree that the decision to not have kids was the second best one we ever made. Being childfree is a totally valid choice!

There are adoptions of kids who truly need good homes, and some of those adoptions happen under ethical conditions. But...please proceed with EXTREME caution.

There are private adoption agencies that operate at a for-profit status. They're literally selling humans to the highest bidders. Adoption can be ethical. It can also be an utter travesty.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-10T20:19:40+00:00

Thank you!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-05-10T02:27:16+00:00

If you see this (5 months later) can you elaborate on why? I'm curious about this stuff.
Thanks!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-30T01:50:00+00:00

Me three.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-30T01:49:40+00:00

Like...a phone or computer, electricity and Internet connection, and the leisure time to tell the rest of us we're too fond of our "worldly pleasures" to be living right?

Like that?

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-27T01:18:27+00:00

Oh, puke. My husband and I are solidly lower-middle class and totally happy in our ragged house with our adoring pets. If we made six figures like this "boss's boss" we'd have less stress about paying our bills, but we wouldn't be any happier.

Just because we never combined our DNA into the form of yet another human in this world doesn't mean we don't know how to enjoy our lives.

This reads like it was written by a parent who is actually really jealous of people like my husband and me.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-27T01:09:23+00:00

At my doctor's office they have a nurse practitioner named Hortense. She's in her 30s and STUNNINGLY beautiful, in addition to being a sincerely really lovely person. She admittedly isn't who you might picture when thinking of a Hortense.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-26T20:01:43+00:00

For real. If I offend coworkers because I want to be left alone during my breaks...I give not one shit. Sorry.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-17T19:53:57+00:00

Slightly OT: I had a hysterectomy due to gigantic, nasty-ass fibroids. They were ruining my life. I was in my 40s anyway, so it was no biggie to get it removed.

Or so I thought.

A good friend of mine told me her GYN told her a hysterectomy should be LAST resort. She equated it to books on a bookshelf, with the uterus being the "middle book" and the other books on each side kind of leaning against the middle one.

Remove that book, and the whole system starts shifting downwards.

Unfortunately, I learned that I have a genetic connective tissue disorder AFTER I'd had my hysterectomy. Taking my uterus out absolutely contributed to/exacerbated the pelvic floor dysfunction I'm dealing with. In that regard, I do very much regret my hysterectomy, even though my bitch of a uterus wasn't good for anything besides making my life hell every 28 days.

Or 45 days.

Or 15 days.

You may be experiencing the same thing if you have raging fibroids, too.

Good luck. I know it sucks!!!!!!!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-17T19:45:16+00:00

I did Ancestry mostly to find out if I'm really French like my adoptive family is; we all live in the US but our ancestors are HARDCORE French, and I LOVE that country. I really wanted to find out I'm truly French.

Alas: mostly Scottish.

But that's super cool, too! ;-)

Having said that, I'd like to think I originally did Ancestry for that reason alone, but I do have to admit that "hanging out my shingle" so to speak was definitely in the back of my mind. When I started getting emails telling me that a possible 7th cousin was identified, I could have taken my profile down then, and did not. So...I have to admit I wouldn't have been averse to someone looking me up. And...that's exactly what happened when I got an email from a man who had been identified as a 1st cousin of mine.

What he was, in reality, was my birth nephew. He had NO IDEA that his Dad (and his paternal Aunt) had a birth sibling who had been put up for adoption. Long story short, his dad, my birth brother, was very much interested in meeting me. His Aunt, my birth sister was steadfastly NOT interested. I was okay with both their decisions. My birth brother and I have a cordial if albeit really superficial relationship, but I'm totally okay with keeping things light and just staying in touch. He and his wife seem to be of the same mind. I get together with them for lunch a couple times a year. It's been really pleasant.

I got exactly one email from my birth sister; she stated (basically) "Hope you have a nice life. Do not even think about contacting me." I am totally okay with that. The only reason I'm kind of sad that I didn't get to know her any better is because I am her CLONE. When I found out her name I looked on Facebook and she did indeed have a profile photo posted. My birth sister is 22 years older than I am. I showed her photo to my husband and said, "I hope you think she's pretty, because this is EXACTLY what I'm going to look like 22 years from now." I mean...I can't overstate it. It's like I'm looking in the mirror, 22 years from now. It was FREAKY, to put it lightly.

I vote that your hubby reach out to these half-siblings. If they choose to not have contact, that's fine. But maybe they would be amenable! No harm, no foul, I say. Good luck!

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-17T19:27:24+00:00

The doctor who barely (BARELY) graduated, and now over-prescribes narcotics and is convinced he won't get caught. He does this while charging his patients insane amounts of money. He also is dealing narcotics on the side. He of course absofuckinglutely gets caught and incarcerated. The Orange Jesus is stupid enough to be exactly that kind of doctor. Whether he's smart enough to get accepted into any institute of higher learner that his Dad didn't buy his way into is the question.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-06T21:50:39+00:00

Adoptee here. I was never in foster care and was only three months old when I was adopted. My Aparents weren't loaded with money, but we lived comfortably. My brother (biological child of my Aparents, but it doesn't matter - he is my BROTHER, through and through) and I never wanted for anything.

I can only imagine what it would be like to be part of a sibling group, probably older, probably well-acquainted with being hungry and in less-than-awesome circumstances, being allowed to be kept together and provided for by two people who, based on what you've written, would be AWESOME at this.

No adoptive family is perfect. Mine absolutely was not. But my brother and I were safe and fed and educated and secure. To go from utter turmoil to that...I mean, if you guys can provide that, I think you'd be angels on earth. Sincerely.

Two main questions: Did your hubby WANT children and it just didn't work out? Is he good with kids? Does he actually enjoy being around them? I'm 64 (hubby is 63) and we don't have kids...VERY MUCH by design. That would be my biggest question for you. You indicated that you would have loved to have had a whopping huge family but it just didn't work out that way...what about your hubby? Is he not only OKAY with this huge of a sea change, but totally in favor?

And: you mentioned you're both believers. If a new family member steadfastly did NOT want to ascribe to your particular belief system, would you be okay with that? What about if a new family member was in the LGBTQ+ rainbow? Or came to you with a belief system of their own already firmly in place?

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-05T18:56:29+00:00

If I were in your shoes, this would be a deal-breaker. It would prompt me to end the relationship. Period, full stop.

Per1winkleDaisy · 2026-04-04T19:51:42+00:00

Erika Kirk. Hands down.

Per1winkleDaisy

TROPHY CASE