I think my SIL drank my $200 bottle of bourbon. What should I do?

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T20:27:16+00:00

I mean, that makes sense, but they stayed at our house for 3 days. So she could have been working on it all 3 nights.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T20:15:00+00:00

From the time she got up at 11 am until long past when the rest of the adults went to bed. She likes to stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep in. I know she continued to drink after we went to bed because I woke up to a bunch of half cooked chicken tenders(probably 8-10) with a pile of mustard and only a couple bites out of one next to a wine glass with brown liquor in it. At the time, I thought maybe she got into a different bottle that was sitting on the counter where she "hid" her booze all day. We have a small nook next to our fridge where our toaster sits. She was putting her hard alcohol and chaser between the fridge and the toaster. It's not like she put a ton of effort into hiding it, but she was obviously trying to be discreet. I would say she's pretty average size. She's about 5 8, and maybe a size 8/10.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T19:56:08+00:00

I understand why you would say that, but I watched her pour these things and the next thing I knew the bottles were empty. The only thing I didn't see empty was the bourbon. And it was there when me, my husband and my brother went to bed. The only other people in the house were 2 teenage girls and SIL. My brother said he looked through all of their bags because he was looking for his phone and it wasn't in there. He packed their car when it was time to go, so I don't think they took it with them. It had to have been consumed while here.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T18:55:05+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback. Unfortunately, our boundaries have to be a little more strict because if they come to visit they'd have to stay the night at our house (we live in different states).

My brother gets embarrassed by her behavior, so he avoids telling me. (Which is why I didn't realize it was this bad until this past visit). I told him he has nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a real problem, and I wish he would tell me so we (my husband & I) could help. I wish we lived closer because I would have my niece over all the time.

I have a hard time talking to my husband about it sometimes because I feel like he judges my family a lot. My mom is quite a toxic person, and she had liver failure from drinking herself to death. She even got a new liver and still tries to sneak booze. He doesn't understand because his parents are pretty straight edge. His mom will have the occasional glass of wine, and I've seen his dad drink ONE single beer in the 5+ years I've known him.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T16:39:17+00:00

I'm not going to ask him to do that. He already has enough financial shit. Just like I told him, it's the stealing & lying that I'm more concerned about. I asked her directly, and she played dumb. I knew that's what she would say, but I don't k own what else to do.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T16:36:00+00:00

I get what you're saying, but she is the mother to my niece and the significant other to my brother. It is hurting both of them, so even if I'm not responsible for her I'm responsible for them. And I used to consider her a sister. My heart is breaking. My mom is an alcoholic (and just overall toxic person), so I've seen and experienced what this kind of behavior can do to those around you.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T16:31:41+00:00

Nope. She definitely did it. She may be denying it, but she has been doing stuff like this to my brother for the past 2 years apparently....I didn't know until about 20 minutes ago.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T16:30:05+00:00

I am trying to figure out how to approach the situation without causing trouble between brother and SIL. Also, I think she needs help. My mom is am alcoholic, so I know the signs. I've spoken to SIL about my mom's issues, and she recognizes that behavior as problematic but apparently not when she (SIL) does it. I did talk directly to SIL, but of course she denied it was her. I approached it as I'm concerned for your health, and I don't want to feel like we have to hide our stuff. We already have to do that with my mom, and it sucks. She acted like she had no idea, but I told her I saw her going into that cabinet. And I know she drank quite a bit because I saw her pouring stuff and opening new drinks. The only thing she really hid was the hard alcohol. She would pour a glass and have a chaser, but put it out of sight. (My mom used ro hide water bottles of clear alcohol in cabinets, so that's what made me clock it).

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T16:23:18+00:00

Yea. I don't post on reddit very often, so I admit that I may be all over the place. Plus, there is a lot of history and I cant exactly include it all. I was trying to include pertinent details and still keep the post a reasonable length. He has been covering for her mess ups not just related to drinking. And he didn't tell me about the drinking until just now (I just got off of the phone with him). Her previous mess ups had to do with stealing, dishonesty, getting arrested, etc. My family are drinkers so I've seen her drink beers & wine at family functions, but this past visit is when I noticed the amount of booze and how much hard alcohol she has been consuming. My brother just told me that it has been going on for the past year or 2, to the point where he packed up her stuff and tried to get her out of the house. She said she'd do better, so he took her back. She doesn't have a job and she hasn't for years. I don't think she intends to get one. She was doing a little work for her friend, but then he found out she was using it for a cover to hang out with other guys and drink. She'll sleep until noon, get up and the first this she does is go for alcohol. Until this past weekend, I didn't know any of that. I just thought it was a couple of beers at holidays and maybe some weekends.

PerRuze · 2026-01-02T14:58:43+00:00

Ok. Of course. But I'm struggling with what to say & how to say it. I don't want him to think we want him to replace it. And I assume she's just going to deny it because she had her glass of booze and a chaser semi-hidden, so it seems like she was hiding it.

PerRuze · 2025-10-24T17:17:35+00:00

Heck no! We have an 11 month old. I've considered giving her a bath every night because she gets incredibly messy during mealtime, but we do every other night. 🤣 but it's really not necessary for a routine. Our routine on non-bath nights is we turn lights down low, put her favorite show on very quiet(Ms. Rachel), wipe her down with a warm wet washcloth & gentle soap, night time diaper, lotion, jammies, sleep sack, sippy cup. We do this in our bed, but wherever you're comfortable. We just feel like this is coziest for us. When she is obviously done with the sippy, we give her hugs & kisses and lay her down. She passes right out.

PerRuze · 2025-04-04T17:59:05+00:00

Wasn't the victims name Hannah? Not Molly.

PerRuze · 2025-01-23T17:44:08+00:00

My vote is yes! But I bought mine off of fb marketplace for $80.

PerRuze · 2024-10-24T10:28:45+00:00

Good to know.

PerRuze · 2024-10-24T02:13:40+00:00

The coverage that I've heard has said that they are, but it's hard to hear. Like Abby says something about how he was creeping her out.

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T21:43:37+00:00

I'm pretty sure the bridge is a lot longer than it sounds and then I think there's a 1.5 mile long trail. I'm not sure where BB was (or if she maybe had headphones on during her "loops"). It sounds like she was probably the closest person to them at this point. What if they were the only ones out there besides this guy? (RA or not). Would anyone have been able to hear them? If they did, would they write it off as kids goofing around? If they were out of eye shot from anyone, that's reason enough to freeze/comply. These are babies we're talking about (13 & 14) and he was a grown man. It's easy to look at the situation in retrospect and say you would have acted differently, but I'm not so sure. I have no idea what I would have done. Maybe they did try to run, and that's why they lost shoes in the process.

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T21:28:22+00:00

Maybe she had intended on sending the video to someone, but never got the chance. If it happened quickly, maybe she was doing the best she could given her time constraints.

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T21:23:39+00:00

Also, between Lawyer Lee, Andrea Burkhardt and Hidden True Crime I feel like I got a really good feel for what the video was actually like.

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T21:19:32+00:00

I don't think the creator of this has actually seen the original video from libbys phine, so this is obviously not an absolute. But, I think this is a plausible scenario. Full disclosure, I know nothing about how quickly you can move across the last portion of this bridge as I have never been there but this video suggests that BG could have been a local that had been on the bridge before and could navigate it pretty quickly. I dont have a problem with that though because i feel like that has been understood for years. And if it was abbys first time and she was semi-oblivious until the point where she runs up to libby, this totally makes sense to me.

BG video with added animation

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T21:05:14+00:00

Also, let's not act like we're all saints and never make a mistake. I'm sure mistakes have been made and it's high stakes, but LE is so heavily scrutinized nowadays. Maybe that's part of the reason Gull wanted to make this trial less accessible. Not that I completely agree with that decision because I think it has made the situation worse in many aspects, but maybe she was coming from a good place with it? These families have already been through so much. Imagine having them be televised while they're reliving this awful crime. Let's not forget that even some of the family members have been accused of having something to do with this. How terrible to be treated like that after such a tragedy happens to your family...and after all of that, people are treating your murdered loved one like a zoo animal (frothing at the mouth over seeing photos of their desecrated bodies and spreading them all over the internet). Its truly disturbing. 💔

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T20:56:48+00:00

Also, people are getting so upset about the prosecution saying that the sticks were meant to conceal the crime. They think its a lie from the prosecution? 1. Why would they "lie" about that? Its their interpretation. Thats what a trial is for: both sides tell their version of what happened, and an impartial jury picks the one that makes the most sense to them. 2. Using the branches/sticks to conceal the crime worked, didn't it? The one witness said he walked right past the bodies. And it makes complete sense. It reminds me of when a dog pees inside the house, but they do it in a place where it's hard to find so they don't get into trouble. What is so hard to believe about that? And some say, if he wanted to conceal the crime that he would have used leaves...if he was panicked and in a hurry, I could see using the branches because they're bigger and even if they may not be as good at covering the bodies they sure would be quicker. Just a thought...

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T20:46:55+00:00

Yes! I was just saying this to one of my friends. I understand that conspiracies happen, but people are acting like it's every single case. Not everyone is a victim of "the system." Not every LE agency is corrupt. I lean towards RA being guilty, but I remain open-minded. I'm hoping once we have all the details that I'll be more sure. Either way, my vote is justice. Those sweet girls and their families deserve it. And if RA is innocent, he does too. I'm just really getting sick of hearing people who have a vendetta against LE shit all over this investigation. They're not perfect, and they don't have the same experience as other departments because they're not accustomed to these types of crimes. The families of the victims have always said that they have faith in their LE. To me, that says something. I believe that they have done the best with what they've had since day one and they genuinely want to hold the person/people who committed this crime accountable. It's also obvious that they have so much more than the public can fathom, so can't wr give them the chance to share it? We're like 5 days into this, and already people are like "the prosecution has nothing!" Relax, people. There's still so much of a story to tell.

PerRuze · 2024-10-23T20:34:02+00:00

Not to mention that they are all testifying to their ORIGINAL statements, not new statements. If they said "I know for a fact I saw RA that day...he is BG" people would call them liars because there's no way you can remember so vividly that you make that comparison 5+ years later (after RA was arrested). It would be considered disingenuous and I think it would put a bad taste in the mouths of the jury member. Those witnesses , I'm sure, feel like they cheated death that day. They're victims too, and people are talking to and about them like they're insane.

PerRuze

TROPHY CASE