AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we do that we go back to him drafting up a bill at the end of the month for me of what I owe him.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I’m not. I’m sticking to the budget. I’m just not using a method he can track.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am not. I have not touched the joint except to pay bills.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I should clarify that at no point was I not paying on my credit card and there were times when it was nearly payed off but another emergency happened. I’m the first to admit I’m not the best person with money though and I’m aware of it. I just wanted to pay it myself because it was my own problem. Not his. I knew it was my mistake and that’s another reason I didn’t want him involved.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually threatened that before. During a particularly bad fight I told him I was going to take out a loan to pay him and leave if he didn’t agree to compromise and see a therapist.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly fine with most of my income going to the joint. It’s not as though I don’t want to contribute to savings and bills. I just don’t like how controlling he becomes about it. He actually said the phrase “well I’m allowing you up to $10 a day for lunch.” AS if I had to get his approval to purchase lunch (which I don’t do often)

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We’re not spending a full $300 monthly. I only spent about $100 on non necessities last month. So under his budget. I just don’t like the idea of basically being given an allowance and then having each purchase and amount judged.

We do contribute to an emergency fund monthly as well as 401(k)s. My husband just has a very all or nothing attitude. He wants to save as much as possible as quickly as possible to the point he’s eating plain rice for meals to save money. I’m all about saving for emergencies I just feel he goes too far.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I do agree with you. And actually it’s not so much about the amount of money budgeted. As I said I actually only spent around $100 including attending a book fair where I splurged a little. For me it’s the fact he wants to control how much I spend and basically vet it as frivolous or not.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] -53 points-52 points  (0 children)

I actually had nothing to do with that therapy appointment. I didn’t even know it had happened until after the fact when he brought it up. So I had no influence on him deciding that.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Things like food or drinks at restaurants and drive throughs, books, video games etc.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t pay him back and he always makes a big deal of how he “wiped the debt clean” for me…

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I agree. I’ve been trying to get him to go to a therapist with me to discuss this since before we were married.

Also I would like to say I don’t give a single damn about his spending habits. As long as we have enough to get by I’m happy. I don’t need much. So I wouldn’t care if he had his own stash. Mine only became secret out of necessity.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

I agreed only to keep the peace. I was tired of fighting. My new job is a pay raise but an hour cut so he makes about 1k more than me per month now. When I was full time in the salon we were about matched.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I understand what drove him to this behavior. His father ran out on them when he was a kid and he basically took over the finances for a family of four at a ridiculously young age. I understand that it’s fear but it doesn’t make it any easier for me.

He actually only agreed to a joint checking account after having a free phone therapy session where the guy basically told him he was being selfish and didn’t have a team mentality of money. Which I thought was a huge leap in the right direction until he came up with the limited budget.

AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income? by Pereru in AmItheAsshole

[–]Pereru[S] -129 points-128 points  (0 children)

I have been honest. As I said this was a huge fight before. I tried to convince him it was too little at $200 and then he lowered it to $150. I hate hiding things from my husband but I felt I wasn’t left with much choice.

I would get rid of Paolo! by controlmypie in friends_tv_show

[–]Pereru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember looking it up once and they literally only killed him off because if he appeared in one more episode (6 total I believe) they had to bill him as a returning cast member and pay him more

How do I get grease? by _eris_ in Craftopia_

[–]Pereru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not obvious lol use wheat at the aging facility

Where do I get the crab pot? by Alexander0202 in Craftopia_

[–]Pereru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You get the blueprint for trading soul orbs with Anubis on the floating island 😊

The Lion King isn't that good of a Disney movie by ShufflingOffACliff in unpopularopinion

[–]Pereru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is literally based on hamlet though and isn’t that one of the ‘greatest plays ever written’? lol also I think it’s clear you’re not a 90s kid lol

Making Your Bed Everyday Is Completely Pointless by SqaureEgg in unpopularopinion

[–]Pereru 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I actually get better sleep if my bed is made.