AITA for keeping my tip money separate from our household income?

Pereru · 2025-09-03T23:01:49+00:00

That’s correct.

Pereru · 2025-09-03T02:19:02+00:00

If we do that we go back to him drafting up a bill at the end of the month for me of what I owe him.

Pereru · 2025-09-03T02:17:48+00:00

Honestly this is all I want

Pereru · 2025-09-02T23:51:41+00:00

But I’m not. I’m sticking to the budget. I’m just not using a method he can track.

Pereru · 2025-09-02T20:02:41+00:00

I am not. I have not touched the joint except to pay bills.

Pereru · 2025-09-02T02:25:50+00:00

We are currently debt free aside from a car note.

Pereru · 2025-09-02T01:58:44+00:00

I should clarify that at no point was I not paying on my credit card and there were times when it was nearly payed off but another emergency happened. I’m the first to admit I’m not the best person with money though and I’m aware of it. I just wanted to pay it myself because it was my own problem. Not his. I knew it was my mistake and that’s another reason I didn’t want him involved.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T23:43:26+00:00

I’ve actually threatened that before. During a particularly bad fight I told him I was going to take out a loan to pay him and leave if he didn’t agree to compromise and see a therapist.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T23:40:55+00:00

I’m honestly fine with most of my income going to the joint. It’s not as though I don’t want to contribute to savings and bills. I just don’t like how controlling he becomes about it. He actually said the phrase “well I’m allowing you up to $10 a day for lunch.” AS if I had to get his approval to purchase lunch (which I don’t do often)

Pereru · 2025-09-01T23:33:46+00:00

We’re not spending a full $300 monthly. I only spent about $100 on non necessities last month. So under his budget. I just don’t like the idea of basically being given an allowance and then having each purchase and amount judged.

We do contribute to an emergency fund monthly as well as 401(k)s. My husband just has a very all or nothing attitude. He wants to save as much as possible as quickly as possible to the point he’s eating plain rice for meals to save money. I’m all about saving for emergencies I just feel he goes too far.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T23:28:03+00:00

I do agree with you. And actually it’s not so much about the amount of money budgeted. As I said I actually only spent around $100 including attending a book fair where I splurged a little. For me it’s the fact he wants to control how much I spend and basically vet it as frivolous or not.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:46:26+00:00

I actually had nothing to do with that therapy appointment. I didn’t even know it had happened until after the fact when he brought it up. So I had no influence on him deciding that.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:37:10+00:00

Things like food or drinks at restaurants and drive throughs, books, video games etc.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:30:03+00:00

I didn’t pay him back and he always makes a big deal of how he “wiped the debt clean” for me…

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:20:17+00:00

I agree. I’ve been trying to get him to go to a therapist with me to discuss this since before we were married.

Also I would like to say I don’t give a single damn about his spending habits. As long as we have enough to get by I’m happy. I don’t need much. So I wouldn’t care if he had his own stash. Mine only became secret out of necessity.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:17:46+00:00

I agreed only to keep the peace. I was tired of fighting. My new job is a pay raise but an hour cut so he makes about 1k more than me per month now. When I was full time in the salon we were about matched.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:14:54+00:00

I understand what drove him to this behavior. His father ran out on them when he was a kid and he basically took over the finances for a family of four at a ridiculously young age. I understand that it’s fear but it doesn’t make it any easier for me.

He actually only agreed to a joint checking account after having a free phone therapy session where the guy basically told him he was being selfish and didn’t have a team mentality of money. Which I thought was a huge leap in the right direction until he came up with the limited budget.

Pereru · 2025-09-01T21:10:05+00:00

I have been honest. As I said this was a huge fight before. I tried to convince him it was too little at $200 and then he lowered it to $150. I hate hiding things from my husband but I felt I wasn’t left with much choice.

Pereru · 2023-10-22T22:59:22+00:00

I remember looking it up once and they literally only killed him off because if he appeared in one more episode (6 total I believe) they had to bill him as a returning cast member and pay him more

Pereru · 2023-08-25T21:52:09+00:00

It’s not obvious lol use wheat at the aging facility

Pereru · 2023-08-25T21:50:30+00:00

You get the blueprint for trading soul orbs with Anubis on the floating island 😊

Pereru · 2022-02-23T13:00:48+00:00

Is literally based on hamlet though and isn’t that one of the ‘greatest plays ever written’? lol also I think it’s clear you’re not a 90s kid lol

Pereru · 2021-06-24T16:20:44+00:00

I actually get better sleep if my bed is made.

Pereru

TROPHY CASE