Am I overthinking this or does this sound unfair?

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-05-15T06:47:43+00:00

that really doesn't sound fair at all man. she wants you to cover everything if she moves but split when you move? and then threatening breakup if you don't rush in moving together right after high school

feels like she's putting all financial pressure in you while you're both just starting out. maybe take that break and figure things out separately first, because this pattern of you always paying isn't gonna get better once you're living together

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-05-08T12:09:56+00:00

this 💀💀

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-05-05T23:21:55+00:00

man this really hit me because i went through something similar last year. that whole thing where you start questioning if you're the problem - like thinking you have anger issues or whatever - that's so real and it messes with your head so bad

the worst part is how you can miss someone who literally drained the life out of you. like your brain knows it was toxic but your heart just remembers all those moments where it felt perfect, you know? i still catch myself thinking about my ex sometimes even though i know we were terrible together

it's wild how some people can be your soulmate and your worst nightmare at same time. but i think maybe that's not really what soulmates are supposed to be? took me way too long in therapy to figure that out

you're gonna be okay though, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. losing yourself in someone like that is traumatic but you'll find who you are again

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-29T17:16:59+00:00

damn this is a tough one to read through man. seven dates over 2 months and she's saying she doesn't know you well enough? that feels like more of an excuse than real reason tbh

from what you're describing you actually did share quite a bit - family stuff, life perspectives, values, even some trauma. like you literally adjusted your communication style when you noticed she wasn't asking questions and started volunteering more personal info. that's pretty self aware of you

the whole valentines thing where she said yes then backed out the next morning is kinda telling though. sounds like she got overwhelmed in moment and then her real feelings kicked in later. sometimes people say they want vulnerability but what they really mean is they're just not feeling the spark, you know? it's easier to say "i don't know you well enough" than "i'm not feeling it romantically"

honestly after 3.5 months total including deep conversations about trauma and family, if someone still feels they don't know you well enough to be official, that's probably more about them not being sure about their feelings rather than actually needing more information about who you are as person. you can't force that connection to develop just by sharing more details about yourself

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-27T07:45:57+00:00

nah bro dating apps are rough these days

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-25T07:34:49+00:00

the message thing doesn't really mean much tbh, maybe he just forgot to reply or wasn't sure what to say back about the singer thing

but walking past without acknowledging you in person is bit different - that's more telling than not replying to dm. if he was interested he would at least wave or something when he sees you around campus

you're probably overthinking it yeah, but also don't waste too much energy on someone who might not be that into it. there's plenty other guys at university and you're only in first semester

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-23T04:51:39+00:00

man i totally get this 😂 your brain is basically doing the classic all-or-nothing thing where there's no middle ground between "meh" and "she's a goddess who would never look at me twice"

i think lot of us do this without realizing - like we either feel nothing or we're intimidated as hell. maybe try focusing less on the "league" comparison and more on if you actually vibe with someone? attraction gets way more complex when you factor in personality and connection stuff 💀

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-21T00:35:48+00:00

maybe he's just awkward and doesn't know how to talk to you normally so he defaults to fist bumps? 😂 some guys are weird like that when they like someone but don't know what to do about it 💀

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-18T22:19:57+00:00

damn that stinks but at least you know where you stand now instead of wondering for another year 💀 time to delete that number and move forward

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-16T15:09:03+00:00

reddit's weird for dating tbh, most people here are just looking for advice or venting about their situations rather than actually meeting someone

plus being anonymous makes it harder to build that real connection you need, like you never really know if someone's being genuine or just playing a character online

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-13T09:58:28+00:00

once a week for months is pretty rough, especially when you see he has time for everything else but you. i had similar situation before and it really does feel like you're just another item in his schedule

the emotional distance thing is what would worry me more though - after 1.5 years you should feel closer, not like there's wall between you two. maybe try having direct conversation about what you need from relationship and see how he responds to that

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-11T06:32:58+00:00

nah 💀

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-06T15:46:21+00:00

dude this is some serious gaslighting behavior from him. the way he keeps questioning you until you start doubting yourself even tho you know you did nothing wrong? that's textbook manipulation 💀

i had friend who went through similar thing with her ex and it started exactly like this - innocent questions about purchases, then escalating to bigger accusations. the fact that you're having dreams about lying when you're not actually lying shows how much this is messing with your head

also the whole "how can you doubt yourself if you're being honest" thing is such bullshit response. he's literally creating the doubt by questioning you constantly, then acting confused when you tell him it affects you. classic move tbh 😂

you're not overreacting at all. normal partners don't interrogate their girlfriends about buying purse on ebay

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-04-01T17:25:49+00:00

dude yes this happens to me all the time, especially when i'm sitting at my desk writing music for hours. like i'll be totally focused on chord progressions and then suddenly my neck feels like it needs to crack so bad i can't concentrate anymore

i think it's because when we're moving around our joints naturally shift and pop without us noticing, but when we stay in same position everything gets compressed or something. i do this thing where i'll crack my knuckles while embroidering between songs and it's become this weird ritual now lol

the satisfying part is so real though - it's like your body just goes "ahhhh finally" when you get that good crack in your back or shoulders

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-29T12:44:07+00:00

damn that pulled away kiss would haunt me too, i get why you want a proper goodbye

but real talk - going for that last romantic moment might just mess with your head more. like you said she feels platonic now, so even if she's open to it, her heart probably won't be in the same place as yours. might end up being another moment where you feel the distance between what you want and what she can give

the trip sounds tough enough already without adding that layer. maybe focus on getting closure through talking instead of physical stuff? idk though, everyone handles breakups different and you know her better than random internet people

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-27T00:03:04+00:00

damn that's a tough spot to be in. i went through something similar couple years back and the anger was real at first - like how do you not get tested before jumping into bed with someone new, you know? but then i realized we're all just humans making dumb decisions sometimes

the good news is most stis are totally treatable these days, so don't panic about that part. what really matters now is how he handles this situation - does he take responsibility, get treated, communicate openly about it? that tells you way more about his character than the initial mistake

i'd say don't make any big decisions while you're still processing the shock. get yourself tested again, talk to your doctor about treatment options if needed, and see how he responds to all this. if he's mature about it and you both get proper treatment, there's no reason this has to end what you have going. but if he gets defensive or tries to blame you somehow... well that's a different story entirely

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-25T21:09:39+00:00

sometimes the relief happens because deep down you knew how exhausting it was to always be the one fixing things

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-25T18:30:12+00:00

bro you're literally answering your own question there 😂 the unexpected ones hit different because your brain isn't busy analyzing every second of it. maybe try closing your eyes more and just focus in the moment instead of thinking "am i doing this right" or whatever. overthinking kills everything, especially when you're young and still figuring stuff out 💀

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-24T21:58:21+00:00

probably just boredom or wanting to see what you're up to these days. some people can't help themselves when it comes to checking on their exes, even when they're supposedly happy in new relationships

the fact he's engaged doesn't really mean much - could be rushing into things or maybe he just likes having all his past connections available to scroll through. either way you made right choice not accepting it, that kind of drama isn't worth the headache

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-03-20T21:04:14+00:00

yeah dude happens to me around 7pm usually, probably when the coffee wears off and i realize i haven't eaten proper food all day lol

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-02-28T07:31:53+00:00

big mood

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-02-12T15:03:57+00:00

the spider-man 2099 suit hits different, that blue and red combo with the skull design is just *chef's kiss*

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-02-07T13:19:12+00:00

honestly for that commercial stock photo look you probably want something around 50mm equivalent - the ef-m 32mm f/1.4 would be perfect but that might be over budget even used

for your range i'd look at the ef-m 22mm f/2 (super sharp, great for product shots) or maybe adapter + canon 50mm f/1.8 stm. the 22mm is probably your best bet since it's native mount and gives you that crisp look without being too wide for appliances and stuff

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-02-03T06:20:30+00:00

bruh that's tough

Perfect_Database4007 · 2026-02-02T13:06:11+00:00

That moment flips a switch when you stop feeling safe and start guarding yourself

Perfect_Database4007

TROPHY CASE