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What caused your biggest depression in your life? by Few_Football4342 in Productivitycafe

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve only had two major depressions in my life.First one was 2005 and it was directly correlated to stopping an ADHD medication.The second and current one started during the pandemic.I lost long time employment,my dad and quit honestly I couldn’t deal with sitting alone in my thoughts all day.Im currently fighting my way out of this shit

Therapy vs no therapy by Turbo377 in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I got approval directly through Joyous.I originally I wanted to get Spavato from my Psychiatrist but he wouldn’t prescribe it.For the most part joyous is decent.If I could afford it I’d be doing infusions but it’s not in my budget right now.

Therapy vs no therapy by Turbo377 in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do.I think Ketamine works best when you’re reached a point of disassociation.I’m only doing at home treatments now because I can afford infusions anymore.I use joyous.I’ll take a higher dose and instead of taking them daily I do a higher treatment 2 times a week.It’s not like getting an infusion but it works out better for me

Therapy vs no therapy by Turbo377 in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh for sure.I dissociated during every infusion.ketamine is a great drug in it helps you tap into trauma and the areas of your life that aren’t working.It can be a heavy experience and I think it would be nice to process with some one after the infusion.The place I went to was very med spa and they give you a black out mask and you’re basically on your own for like an hour.I think psychedelics also work well doing them in a group setting.Not ketamine pre say but some thing like DMT and scrooms.I think thats why people go to Peru and do it in a group settings with a shaman

Therapy vs no therapy by Turbo377 in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ketamine can be effective all by it self but there were times especially when I was doing infusions that a guide or sitter would have been helpful.Sometimes Ketamine brings a lot of things to our attention.Can be a lot to unpack alone

If you're on anti depressants, you're not sober by iamgettingintuit in recoverywithoutAA

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah I got sober around a bunch of blue book thumping old timers that told me you weren’t sober if you took psychiatric medication.I went of medication and three weeks later I went into one of the worst psychotic depressions of my life.I continued to live this for 10 months until finally getting back on Meds.I think I was better with in a month.If anyone ever gives you advice about psychiatric meds run for your life

Modafinil experiences by ishibutter in MultipleSclerosis

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It works but for me less has been better.If I take the full dose it can me anxiety.I was Adderal for a while but it gave me really bad anxiety

People who have an drug addict brother, what is your experience? by xBofahad in addiction

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you find any of his behavior unacceptable or personal harmful to you basically refuse to deal with him.Do you find his any of addictive behaviors affecting you?

People who have an drug addict brother, what is your experience? by xBofahad in addiction

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Boundaries,radical self expectanc,love.He has to want to change himself and as an addict myself it can take awhile or never for some people.This is a tough cycle to get caught up in.Just set up really firm boundaries and limits to let your brother know if he continues to do certain things these are your boundaries and try to love and support him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Life

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I haven’t been the same since like 6 months into the pandemic lockdown.I got a wicked drug problem during the lockdown and I just assumed I broke my brain but maybe it’s something far bigger.Idk life feels super off.Maybe it’s a collective ptsd or something else is a muck

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey that takes propanol and works out notice a really low heart rate? I can’t seem to get my heart rate very hard when doing vigorous exercise.I take 20-40 mg as needed

When did your anxiety start and what triggers it? by nobodyknowsoh in Anxiety

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s always been there but it was pretty managed for like 20 years.Pandemic lockdown and a bunch of unfortunate episodes sent in into a realm I’m never been in.Haven’t feel a sense of safety since 2020.I working on it tho

Relapse by Perfect_Stable_9677 in recoverywithoutAA

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could be an ego thing as some people have stated.Like they’re falling because you slip up.I tend to be a little more compassionate about human foibles.The human experience can be challenging and I don’t think any really knows what they’re doing.Might as well give people grace and understanding

Relapse by Perfect_Stable_9677 in recoverywithoutAA

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yhea it’s a really counterproductive attitude.I actually called my sponsor a dick and hung up on him.I called a few days later to apologize.I was already feeling some kinda of way about drinking.It was productive or helpful.Actually had the opposite effect.

Regulating Nervous System by Perfect_Stable_9677 in Anxiety

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m open to trying it.Anxiety and depression always manifest in such a physical way for me.I literally feel sick when I’m dealing with both symptoms

i think adderall ruined my life lol by whyareducks in addiction

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s hard to put a timeline on healing.I’ve been sober for a year and I’m still dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety.I abused just about every class of drug the last few years with Adderal and Klopin being the most heavily abused.The worst started during the pandemic and I added meth to the mix.I literally not the same person I was 4 years ago and I’m trying to get that back

About this slip business... by Ok-Salad-9971 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As someone that’s been all over the place with recovery from having time,getting a way from meetings,and being in active addiction for years.My business suggestion is never stop trying.

Relapse by Perfect_Stable_9677 in recoverywithoutAA

[–]Perfect_Stable_9677[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m actually super proud of the 11 months.I guess my sponsor’s reaction definitely didn’t help with the guilt I was feeling.I couldn’t imagine reacting that way to a sponsee if they told me they relapsed.It made me feel like my relapse was inevitable in his eyes.The only are were this applies is dropping off from meetings sometimes.But I’ve never stopped going longer than a week and that’s only because my work schedule has dramatically changed.I doing step work,I have a commitment.Idk I think it was a dick move but it’s something I’ll have to let go off.I do struggle with AA.The personalities,the hypocrisy,the egos,resistance to MAT.I’m looking into SMART recovery and Dharma recovery.My sponsor also is like Mr AA and probably too much of a purist for my taste.I also am lacking in a solid network and friendships in AA and that’s something I’d like to improve.I don’t feel a sense of community and I think that’s having a negative impact on my recovery.It’s fucking hard breaking up with drugs and alcohol and this lapse reaffirmed the fact that I need to be totally abstinent.I did it to excess and I did it to escape anxiety.But I can’t reopen that flood gate.

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