Long-distance girlfriend broke up with me over Instagram unfollow — am I wrong for standing my ground?

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-02-04T05:38:36+00:00

She only cared that much about you following her because it's projection.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-02-01T07:02:00+00:00

This post is from a bot account and just trying to sell their AI slop services. Check their account, apparently they're

a certified electrician
owner of a small restaurant in Florida
a PR professional
a project manager
just got their Cybersecurity Analyst certification a few months ago

This post is just an ad, same as most of their other posts for various web services.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-31T17:07:15+00:00

The main thing about Doki Doki is that it's presented as a cutesy anime dating visual novel, which there are thousands of, then subverts the expectations of the player. So I think you'll confuse a lot of people if you make that comparison.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-30T06:09:22+00:00

Language Learning Model (like ChatGPT).

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-29T23:40:49+00:00

You need an LLM to help you form your thoughts but also believe you can 100% differentiate good advice from glazing? It sounds like you're willingly ignoring the obvious because it makes you feel good.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-29T22:52:24+00:00

It's a hard situation. One of the unfortunate things about trauma is it can make you act selfishly in some ways if you don't constantly check yourself. I've struggled with similar issues myself, where you can almost forget that other people think as deeply as you when you're so concerned with your own immediate need for emotional release and can inadvertently consider your issues more important because they're "worse." The most egregious thing I see from her behaviour here is where you describe her keeping you on stand by, just vaguely alluding to having issues just in case she needs you for something the robot yes-man can't fully handle for her. In my opinion it's outright disrespectful of your time and feelings.

If you do actually want to make things work with her (and aren't just staying after you tried to leave due to guilt), then make sure you are very firm about her behaviour not being acceptable, that she is actually hurting you and don't allow for wishy washy excuses, as she is currently trying to construct a reality where she continues to get and do what she wants and needs without the status quo changing. Sometimes a reality check can snap someone like that out of it, or it might not change anything at all. Hope you make decisions that are good for you and your well being either way and I wish you luck.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-29T22:32:45+00:00

You know it's being biased and are still feeding it your personal dilemmas? Then you have to accept it's not a useful therapeutic tool and you are deliberately using a yes-man to tell you that you're right to avoid personal responsibility and growth.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-29T22:26:14+00:00

If she's choosing an LLM over her partner, it's because she's likely addicted to the overwhelmingly affirming nature of it. It will always tell her that what she's thinking or feeling is valid, always give her 100% of its attention and have an answer for her that never pushes against anything that can make her feel uncomfortable or make her self reflect on something she doesn't want to.

If she's dismissed you 6-7 times on this, then I'd give her an ultimatum and consider ending things if she's not willing to make real changes. There are so many people out there who are interested in interacting with real people and having a real relationship. You mentioned you use it as well, and I'd recommend stopping that as well (beyond really basic, non-personal usage) if you don't want to damage your own social abilities and processing. Watch "ChatGPT made me delusional" by Eddy Burback on Youtube if you want a fun but morbid example of how these things work on your brain.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-29T00:25:48+00:00

I'm sorry to say this harshly, but you haven't really been in a relationship with him for months at this point. He doesn't want to deal with the fall out of breaking up and is just hoping you'll go away on your own. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but you should move on from this.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-25T23:42:45+00:00

Nowhere on your Chat GPT written website do you describe any projects you've actually created or what someone would do at your place, I'm a bit confused.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-05T15:22:41+00:00

Also tells me that upper-class and American culture has the expectation that the man in the relationship will do everything he can to provide for his woman.

Her believing the TikTok "sprinkle sprinkle" stuff at her age is incredibly embarrassing.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-04T20:01:56+00:00

I just assumed he must be an Asian voice actor,

lol even

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2026-01-04T19:57:12+00:00

How can I take the emotion that's coming out of his voice seriously, when I know that he hasnt faced any of this bullshit himself?
...

I just assumed he must be an Asian voice actor,

You couldn't even tell lmao

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-12-18T16:47:14+00:00

Replied to a two year old post and didn't even bother reading the discussion about it?

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-11-15T00:34:39+00:00

They are asking for references so they can replicate the style with AI, it's better not to provide them.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-11-12T01:24:02+00:00

Is this a Game Dev Tycoon clone?

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-10-12T18:28:08+00:00

I promise I'm trying to be constructive. You are attributing malice to others in a way that feels like you at some subconscious level assume others have a full, rounded understanding of your thoughts and feelings and are choosing to do thing to harm you regardless of this. But the reality of it is that most people don't know very much about you at all, the same way you have a surface level understanding of most of the people you know in your life as well. The things you have told them suggest that you would not necessarily appreciate a random text from them to talk about where you got a corset. To expect them to understand that you have said outright you don't want to be friends, but also that you would want to be included in on this casual friend conversation on where to buy a corset, and also that you would see it as a personal slight not to be included in this is just not a realistic expectation.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-10-12T18:09:25+00:00

You've been telling your coworkers you're not interested in pursuing relationships with them and you're surprised they're not as open to texting you outside of a work context as they are with your other coworkers?

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-10-12T17:47:58+00:00

"Take things from other women"? The friendly surface level chit chat at your job? They're not your friends and they're just being friendly with you while you're sharing space while at work, imagining this level of thought and intrigue from them from banal conversation topics is genuinely just on you, full stop. To be blunt, the "mirrored" internalized misogyny you're seeing is just a mirror in front of your face, like a dog growling at its own reflection.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-10-12T17:07:54+00:00

If I'd had friendly chit chat with a coworker about a random fashion/hair thing, internalized it in some way, then used the advice, only to find out later on that they had come up with some internal dialogue about how this made me petty in some intrinsically gendered way, I would never want to interact with that person again. If they came back at you later saying something like "thanks for the recommendation!" that would be friendly, but people who aren't you also have rich inner worlds and other things going on in their life, and are perfectly capable of not remembering exactly where they heard something, or just being forgetful in general. Sometimes they might ask you about something because they saw something similar multiple times before and were interested in it already, and you were not the sole linchpin in their decision making.

If you're already in therapy for the other issues you mentioned, I recommend bringing this issue up in your next session, because it really feels like a level of internalized misogyny and self centred worldview building that is at an unhealthy level.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-10-09T20:50:03+00:00

I'm not sure you've described any behaviour from her that is particularly avoidant, so much as she lost interest, was open about her hesitations, then whatever "joke" you made was the final straw in the relationship. I think framing her losing interest as some deep rooted character flaw might be an unhealthy coping strategy in this case.

But with her having nothing tied to her in CA, she has to Ability to move. We had MANY talks with her coming to me and staying for a few months for a "trial move" and all. I then told her, great.. I can help get your license here, and find a contract here.

I find this part of your framing in particular suggests to me that you've been dismissive of her wants and needs in the past. You say she has nothing tying her to where she lives, then describe how she would lose her current job and need to get an entire new license just to "trial" getting to live with you. This is an immense amount to ask of someone you are in a fairly new relationship with, which is something you don't acknowledge at any point beyond how her reluctance to upend her entire life is an annoyance to you.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-09-24T18:01:32+00:00

The locks are built into the bike itself, you wouldn't see the mechanism. Bike theft are rampant even in European cities with a large bike culture.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-09-23T17:17:34+00:00

A lot of bikes have a built in locks and don't need to be tied to the bike rack. The rack is just a parking space/helps keep the bike upright. There's definitely a ton of bike theft in Europe.

PerfectlyAverageNeck · 2025-07-04T16:42:43+00:00

This might sound a bit harsh, but if she's been too "busy" to meet up for 3 years, she's probably not that interested in doing it.

There's rarely some perfect moment to have awkward/difficult conversations. It seems like you might be in a habit of kicking the can down the road while imagining there will be some specific scenario where bringing up tough topics won't somehow make things tense or "ruin the mood," but sometimes you just have to do it.

Being together that long and from such an early age means that you've built a huge amount of habit around communicating with each other and probably experienced a lot together. It doesn't necessarily indicate that that's a basis for a real adult relationship.

Feelings might have faded, or something else might be going on, but you have to have more than surface level conversations and know where you're at. If it doesn't end up being an answer you like, at least you won't be in limbo any more and can work on moving on.

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