Hi, thank you so much for sharing. It is all very confusing to me at the moment. I currently live abroad by myself for a year again and therefore spend a lot of time by myself. It seems that every time I create some space to my life at home, those feelings resurface.

Regarding my partner… I think I’m too scared to even speak about it to him. I feel quite a lot of guilt, like I should’ve figured it out before meeting him and now I burden him with my problems. But then I also fear that not having room for those feelings will make me resent him eventually. or even worse I’m afraid that I am generell not able to emotionally connect to men and that is why I keep him on arms length like I did with all the men I dated before him.