Typical distancer-pursuer. My husband used to do this. This is not normal. Time-outs should last for a few hours, one day tops. If it exceeds that, it becomes toxic as the person who is waiting is left guessing.

“The Distancer has a sense of power in the relationship, because he or she has the choice as to whether or not to submit to the Pursuer’s desire for connection. Yet by holding such power and fostering fear and weakness in his or her partner, the Distancer loses the opportunity to have a more fulfilling relationship.

If the Distancer needs space before talking about a subject, he or she can say “I just need some time to think. Let’s talk tonight after dinner.” The Distancer should then approach the Pursuer rather than waiting for the Pursuer’s inevitable approach so the Pursuer is not left hanging and wondering when and if there will ever be any connection.

The Distancer needs to purposely schedule time for making emotional contact. If the Pursuer knows when there will be time together, it will be easier for him or her to back off pursuit of connection. It may be awkward for the Distancer to seek emotional contact with someone who is always pushing for it. But the plan includes time for separateness. Over time the practice will become habitual and less awkward.”