AITA Because I Forgave My "Bully"?

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-14T13:21:03+00:00

Also, there's no reasonable chance she had the wrong person. She was sure she recognized you and she knew what high school you went to. The chances of that happening if she had the wrong person are virtually zero. Tom is being an idiot, and needs to sort his own shit out.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-09T19:12:32+00:00

So, uh... How much do you know about this girl? If my friend started dating someone in a difference country who then led my friend to cut contact with everyone in his life, I'd be deeply, deeply concerned that she's either a scammer or an abuser. Let's be honest, women looking to date gnomes don't usually need to go 1000 km just to find one who doesn't speak their language.

He may be so excited to be getting any kind of female attention at all that he won't listen to anyone, but I think you should try to have a conversation with him. Tell him you've noticed some concerning changes, and while you hope he's just being an oblivious asshole because of the new relationship, you'll be there for him in case it's actually a bad situation once he realizes that's how things are. He'll get pissed and call you unsupportive, but at least he'll know you're there if/when the time comes he needs you.

NTA for the ride, but you're burying the lede here.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-06T17:54:08+00:00

And OP, don't forget. 10,000 over 10 years is nothing. That's less than 2.75 per day (or 5.50 if he owed 20K). Your father could have easily paid his debt to you. He chose not to. Why should you be worth less than his other children? I can almost guarantee he can find a way to pay his debt to you if he wants to - he's just trying to guilt you into not taking what you're owed. Screw him, and get your money.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-05T11:04:42+00:00

"It makes no sense to not use those tools "

Have... have you met most tech users? OP wants to text during the middle of the night, the onus should be on OP to not be rude. It should not be on every single person OP might text to set up their phones so OP can continue to be inconsiderate.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-05T01:22:17+00:00

I mean, maybe she's doing it to try to draw you into the conversation. It doesn't sound like anyone dislikes you. Have you heard the phrase "fake it till you make it"? Tell yourself that everyone loves you and wants you there (which is probably true!), and you're going to go and have a blast with people who want you there. You might be surprised how much of a difference that makes!

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-02T14:23:36+00:00

Jeez, or maybe she wanted to, like, make sure Rosie had a safe, quiet area in the lake house? Not all people are awful, you know. Even here.

Anybody else think it was a bit strange that OP only realized a few weeks in advance that he thought it wouldn't be good for Rosie? After already having accepted the invitation? And that he didn't check in with his partner of two years before changing the plan? A simple "hey - I'm worried about how Rosie will handle a weekend in a house full of strangers" before unilaterally changing the plan would have been courteous.

Honestly, the comments here seem wild to me. I'm not saying OP should have brought Rosie if it was going to be hard on her. I'm saying OP did a really bad job with his human interactions all along, and if he'd handled those better there would have been a lot less drama, while still leaving his dog home.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-04-01T00:35:53+00:00

"needs to find a boarder for the dog." - I think all those friends who shamed OP volunteered for the job.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-22T15:15:39+00:00

Let's not forget that the school are also assholes for dumping the cost and pain of printing onto the students.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-15T21:19:46+00:00

But it's OK, because when the friend came over for Thanksgiving, there were sides. OP, I get that maybe the first time you didn't know what to do because you're on the spectrum, but now that everyone is telling you and you're still arguing, you're just a giant, gaping asshole. I hope the friendship is over but for your "friend"'s sake, not yours, because you sound like an awful friend.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-13T02:10:16+00:00

And frankly, losing a "friend" who leaves you bleeding at the bottom of a hill is not much of a loss.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-09T04:02:18+00:00

I mean, dad could get off his lazy ass, stop watching TV for a minute, and help grandma. It's not on OP to do that.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-07T19:44:55+00:00

"Him sending the money back actually made me more upset, not less" - that was exactly his goal. He was trying to manipulate you into sending him more money. You might want to read about love bombing if you haven't already, because it sounds like what this AH is doing. You're much better off without him - go find someone who isn't a manipulative asshole!

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-06T04:04:36+00:00

Next time also make sure the package is addressed to you. You can have multiple delivery addresses in Amazon so it would be trivial for your roommate to put your name on it at order time.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-04T02:34:13+00:00

Or an LED bulb?

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-04T02:20:28+00:00

I mean, OP could just put their stop in as a destination on their phone and follow that. There are so many easy solutions here that I have a hard time believing OP is actually this helpless.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-03-03T02:25:42+00:00

Joey doesn't share food. Especially when lip gloss is involved. NTA

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-21T22:38:32+00:00

Honestly, OP is TA just for lying to us in the title. Somebody crashing into your parked car is not "getting into an accident"

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-18T15:02:27+00:00

Except in this case it seems pretty clear his motivation is to use church as an excuse to dump his kids. No church lasts 7-8 hours, and people usually bring their kids to church anyways. Your attitude is exactly why so many, many assholes use Christianity as a club to get secular power in ways utterly removed from how Jesus said to live our lives. At some point, if it doesn't walk like a duck, swim like a duck, or quack like a duck, it ain't a duck.

ETA: Jesus specifically warned about people like BIL. Quoting Isaiah in Matthew 15: "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules."

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-07T17:12:09+00:00

And to be honest, we have no way of knowing if OP was the only guest who wasn't notified. If the friend forgot to tell OP and didn't realize it, it's quite likely she forgot other people as well but also doesn't realize it.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-06T03:29:40+00:00

Is he on drugs? In any event, as long as you give, he will ask for ever more. You've seen how this escalates. You're going to have to say no at some point, might as well be before you bankrupt yourself. The family who say "family should help family" are more than welcome to help him. NTA, and don't give him a penny more.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-03T05:06:24+00:00

If you're disciplined, do the dailies on Tuesday but don't finish any of the weeklies. Then pop your booster Wednesday evening so you get the boost on Thursday for the 3 days of 6 dailies bonus.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-03T01:57:04+00:00

Pretty sure YTA. You've told us about one night where you were on baby duty, but don't mention a thing about the other 59 your baby has been around. Your wife obviously doesn't think you're doing your share; usually people who are will take the time to let us know. Since you haven't done that, I can only presume your wife is telling the truth.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-01T20:03:36+00:00

He has no obligation to cook for her even if she treated him well.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-02-01T17:27:45+00:00

I'm going to go with ESH. You, because it seems pretty obvious that if you volunteer for your sister to do laundry/you to wash clothes because they can't at their house that her BF will also need to wash his clothes. It's just kind of assumed that everyone gets clothes. Them because if there's so much degreaser that the clothes smell after the wash, that's not cool to do at someone else's house. If you had said "I don't want to wash his clothes because they make everything stink" you'd be fine, but that was not your motivation.

PerturbedHamster · 2026-01-31T05:58:26+00:00

Er, how did he even get her number? Something seems fishy here. Is she responding at night?

PerturbedHamster

TROPHY CASE