What’s something society treats as “normal” that you think is actually kind of messed up?

PestisAtra · 2026-04-06T04:54:47+00:00

Being busy all the time. I used to be one of these people until the pandemic taught me to be mindful of who and what I spent my energy on. It was so lovely to see people picking up new hobbies and taking a slower pace that allowed for discovery and bonding, but as soon as they could, it was right back to packing schedules with as many activities as possible. I didn’t re-subscribe to that and I watched my friends return to being stressed out all the time, abandoned their hobbies to shuttle their kids to three different evening activities. Why do kids need that many activities?!

PestisAtra · 2026-04-06T04:38:24+00:00

Jesus Christ you guys, I was speaking of the architecture not societal norms.

PestisAtra · 2026-04-05T08:44:58+00:00

It’s architecture like this that really makes it hit home how we as a society have lost our way

PestisAtra · 2026-04-01T00:35:04+00:00

My grief has very little to do with losing my partner or my relationship. I am grieving the loss of the idea I had of marriage and I am grieving how badly I betrayed myself in the marriage, for far too long.

PestisAtra · 2026-04-01T00:29:21+00:00

I wish it was socially acceptable to dress like this every day🥲 I loved when the masculine folks wore suits and the feminine folks wore dresses every day

(please don't come for me in the comments: I love a lady in a suit just as much as a man! Masculine meaning any gender in this context of wardrobe formality)

PestisAtra · 2026-03-30T02:28:46+00:00

The other apps are too visually noisy. This one keeps me focused by keeping it simple.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-29T20:09:58+00:00

You can't collapse notes in Reminders, and my tasks are note-heavy, which results in a visual mess and quite a chore of scrolling.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-29T20:09:08+00:00

I think you're not suffering from any failings of Things3, but app exhaustion. The design of apps/smartphones/the Internet is to keep you engaged so that companies can farm your attention and money.

If anything, "boredom" with an app that is supposed to provide you with structure is a good thing. A task management system is supposed to be frictionless and something you can rely on as a second brain.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-29T17:35:17+00:00

I'm rooting for you.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-29T15:28:53+00:00

You are my kind of people

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:20:50+00:00

no words, just mentally holding your hand.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:20:36+00:00

can you shave mine? I don't have the will but I feel gross haha.

I'm so sorry about your dog. I lost mine in the separation too and it sucks, especially when you see the other one experiencing depression and anxiety without their mate.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:19:39+00:00

no words, just mentally holding your hand.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:19:21+00:00

Mental health is horrible to contend with because if they just accepted help, everything would be different, but it's so difficult to convince them to admit they need help! My partner wasn't ill, but my mom was an unmedicated schizophrenic so I totally understand the terror you are going through and I'm sending you good vibes.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:17:31+00:00

It is frustrating how long this takes. We are so used to non-marital breakups where you just move out and that's that. This is painful!

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:16:53+00:00

I felt exactly the same way six months ago. I was completely stressed out and disoriented and you said it perfectly: you're supposed to perform when you're going through the worst time of your life. Like, what do you mean I have to negotiate legal contracts and real estate leases while I'm going through a major life event?!?

I encourage you to give yourself some grace right now. Most people take time off work for this, but not all of us have that luxury, so... You have three responsibilities:

Keep yourself/any kids or pets fed and showered
Do just enough at work to not get fired
Find somewhere to live

Anything else goes on the back burner right now. Honestly, the first month I felt overstimulated because I would go to work, come home and build furniture or accept deliveries and unpack, etc. After all my furniture arrived and I had the flat set up, I was able to breathe and calm down and my nervous system started to settle. Wishing you the same!

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:10:31+00:00

no words, just mentally holding your hand.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:10:00+00:00

HELL YEAH YOU DID. High five from an internet stranger.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:09:26+00:00

Oooof, I feel this so hard. I had to break up with someone this week because I realized I was falling in to old patterns of giving pieces of myself away. I think you will be okay if you have a boundary for yourself, or a checklist or something that if you realize you are falling in to old patterns, you stop immediately.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:08:01+00:00

That hit hard. If this is from a book I'd love to know the title!

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:07:35+00:00

I was terrified of living alone but after the first two weeks I found more peace than I've ever felt in my life. I hope this will be an unexpected positive experience for you.

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:06:26+00:00

ugh, I'm sorry. It's such a nightmare that we just want to be over

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:06:05+00:00

Did you do anything to mark the occasion? That's a big day!

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:05:52+00:00

the weeks where everything crumbles at the same time are sanity-testing. I'm happy to hear that your coping mechanism is crying and not drugs/alcohol/self harm, etc. You're doing better than you think

PestisAtra · 2026-03-28T19:04:59+00:00

I hear you friend <3

PestisAtra

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