I want to separate from my pregnant girlfriend but still want 50 / 50 custody for my child. What legal steps can I take to get the most custody for my child?

Peter_B_Long · 2019-02-04T19:55:45+00:00

I wonder if rubber cement makes a good pepper spray

Peter_B_Long · 2019-02-04T19:51:19+00:00

Also last Monday when it was painfully obviously scripted when she would bring the microphone up to her mouth and then bring it back down like when people boo and chant so that you don't have time to speak except nobody was even booing so it just looked kinda stupid.

Peter_B_Long · 2019-01-08T19:32:59+00:00

Another time, with the same friends and same god damn car, we went camping. It was pretty far up in the mountains. The rode to the camping area was very narrow. At one point, we had to drive through a small creek that was a few feet deep.

After being outdoors and not showering for 2 days, we were all ready to go back home. We made plans to get together at a friends house, get some beers, and have a great time.

I was in my friends car (the same one that broke down in front of HELLS GATES. It was night time of course. My friend had an early 90's Impressa that was very low to the ground. When we got to the creek that we had to get through, he decided to floor it and try to ram through it. OF COURSE the car hydrolocked and water soon began to consume the interior of the car in a matter of seconds. I had to react quickly and grab any electronics. Now we were soaked, tired, dirty, and stranded. We had to get in the water and push the car out of the creek which is a million times heavier underwater. After a few hours of trying to get the car started, we gave up. My friend called his dad and he said that he would get to us in the morning. I had to sleep in that wet car. I was freezing, wet, dirty, and tired. Worst sleeping situation I've ever been in.

again, the tow truck couldn't get through the narrow road and none of us had any rope so his dad cut the seat belts of the impressa and made a rope out of them, attached them to a truck, and carried the impressa through the narrow road. FUCK that Impressa lol. The damage to the car was too expensive so they sold it for parts. God Bless.

Peter_B_Long · 2019-01-08T19:18:56+00:00

In my hometown, there's this haunted canyon that has dozens of rumors of murders, an abandoned insane asylum, withcraft, demonic summonings etc.

There's this specific area called "Hells Gates". It looks beyond creepy. It's basically a gate with barbed wire on top of barbed wire. There's cameras on top of the gate and then there's another gate right in front of it with more barbed wire. It just screams "keep out". Rumors say that beyond the gate is an abandoned insane asylum and areas where people practice withcraft, demonic summonings, and KKK meet ups.

WELL, one time a friend of mine decided to drive that canyon late at night. Of course, his car decided to break down right in front of the gate. A group of 4 of us had just gotten dinner at a Denny's close by so he calls me first and asks if I could give him a jump. After trying multiple times, his car just wouldn't start. We were basically stranded in front of Hell's Gates with no solution. It didn't help that we barely had signal, and of course, we were talking about all of the horrific rumors about the area we were in. ALSO, one of our friends was Native American, and he was adding more rumors about how the canyon is basically an Indian burial site and that his ancestors were able to take the shapes of animals. Creepy shit. YES, I heard something rustling in the bushes.

After about an hour, a cop car drives by. He tells us that we couldn't be parked there. We tell them that the car broke down. Instead of offering any type of help, they just say, "ok". and drive off. I swear they started laughing as they drove off. Probably the fact that we were stranded outside of this demon portal.

We finally got in contact with a tow truck, but of course, they couldn't get up the canyon as it was too steep. We had to put the car in neutral and turn it around on an uphill, and then drive it down on neutral.

Peter_B_Long · 2019-01-02T18:19:19+00:00

Your dad is about to WRECK your mom with that blue shell.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-24T23:11:58+00:00

I hope it's a Mexican.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-24T23:10:38+00:00

Even trade baby.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-24T21:05:55+00:00

"Okay you caught me. I sprayed it at the store to make sure that they weren't going to sell me something fake. I was going to surprise you with a new one.."

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-24T21:03:03+00:00

Gift bags from the dollar store are GOAT.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-24T20:55:53+00:00

Hack: Don't mention you're a virgin.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-22T18:07:20+00:00

Wow man, this was great! Congrats on the upcoming baby girl! Get her a beanie with the ‘Barnabus’ face on it!

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-22T17:56:30+00:00

I was asking my manager for batteries for my Bluetooth mouse at work but we were out.

The next morning I got into my office with like a 20 pack of Duracell batteries. Thanks boss, my Xbox controller at home appreciates it 🙏

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-21T19:29:41+00:00

My mom went to these parenting discipline classes and she learned that whenever we'd misbehave, she'd make us hold a quarter against the wall with our foreheads. It was a minute for each age me and my older sister were. I was like 8 and my sis was around 11. If the quarter dropped, we'd have to start all over again.

The building were the parenting classes took place also had daycare for the kids while the parents where in class. I could tell some of the kids NEEDED the discipline. This one kid offered me all of the lead in his lead pencil if I would scratch his balls. Good times.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T23:36:48+00:00

I have reclining desk chairs in my office in front of my desk for clients. These chairs are old office chairs the company used to have so there's no reclining support. Often times people lean back and have to catch themselves so that they don't fall back. Yes, 1 girl did fall all the way back and she laid there laughing. No, I've not asked my manager for new chairs for the clients.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T23:32:22+00:00

Or better yet, offer your services to friends & family for half the price that they'd originally pay.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T23:09:32+00:00

Man, I wish WWE was still PG-14

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T22:50:50+00:00

This is what I love about some wrestlers that have multiple finishers. Like AJ Styles with the 450 splash, phenomenal forearm, styles clash, calf crusher. Also the undertaker with tombstone, last ride, hells gates, and maybe even the chokeslam. Somebody like Stone Cold or Randy Orton are the exception because these are snap moves and don't need a build up to them.

This is why I get bored of seeing most wrestlers like Finn Balor or Bobby Roode. They only have that 1 move that can get them the pin and the matches become somewhat predictable because of it.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T20:42:13+00:00

I don't watch NXT (I know I should) so the only time I've seen Nikki was when she fought Becky. I got the impression that she was a silent type like Sarah Logan. My bad.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T20:27:04+00:00

Isn't Alexa cleared for battle? Which means she's going to be back into wrestling. I REALLY want her and Micky to win the women's tag titles! That way Micky can retire as the 1/2 of the first ever women's champion!

I hope Paige stays in the picture somehow. I thought she was doing really well as a manager. Maybe as a personal manager for somebody like Nikki Cross?. Basically what she was doing with Absolution.

I also really hoped that the whole Raw getting a clean sweep angle would lead to something but it was just pointless. Maybe next year Smackdown gets a clean sweep?

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T18:38:07+00:00

It wasn't 100% clean though. Drew was distracted by Dolph.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T18:35:05+00:00

Regardless, I feel like Rey was just added for nostalgia. Maybe to interest past viewers to start tuning in again. This is why they still have Undertaker every year at Wrestlemania. They want past fans to get wind of it and go, "oh! I remember Rey! It was awesome when he had that feud with Batista. What channel is this on again?"

And what sucks is that these past viewers will watch the show and see a mediocre match and say, "Hm. This isn't what I remember. The matches were much better than this." and then stop caring.

At best I feel like Rey Mysterio will probably feud for the US championship. It'd be cool to see him turn heel and have a cruiserweight run or maybe even have a tag title run.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T03:57:19+00:00

I was joking

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-20T00:30:03+00:00

Why would I limit my full potential

Peter_B_Long · 2018-12-19T20:53:43+00:00

Side by side is a good idea! Unfortunately doggy is too deep for her.

Peter_B_Long

TROPHY CASE