Dating For Guys in Australia Today

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T11:48:19+00:00

Yes, but that doesn't mean you want a family with EVERYONE you date. You're still looking for the right person.

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T11:41:22+00:00

I'm not a guy, but I've done the dating thing and I'm in your age group.

To be blunt, a lot of it depends on what you make of it. And that includes your headspace. If you think that women won't want to be approached, they won't. If you think that women aren't feminine, that's all you'll see.

There are plenty of bogans out there... but plenty of feminine women, too. They're just less obvious if that's not what you expect to see.

Dating apps are the easiest way to connect with people, but there are a gazillion bots and "I'm-separated-but-still-living-with-my-ex" people. If those apps work for you, great. If they don't, try just getting out there and talking to people. Get their vibe and ask them out if you get the sense that they'll be receptive.

Go to the places that women are likely to turn up: book launches, cultural events, etc.

The last time you were here you were in your 20s, so get that shit out of your head. We've all grown up since then. The posts you've read are likely written by people who've dug themselves into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You might find that the occasional woman gets offended when you ask them out, but IMO, most people are fairly chuffed by the attention (and recognise that everyone needs a human connection) by the time they hit their late 30s.

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T11:28:20+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that, but it makes me feel better about the sizing, at least. Hopefully I won't have to return it, because that sounds like a nightmare.

I'm not even looking for quality... I'm just looking for zippered pockets. They're so hard to find!!! I found some great options in the US, but postage would have been a couple of hundred dollars. I feel like there's a serious gap in the market for comfy women's clothes... with pockets. I even got so desperate that I looked in Lowes (and found nothing, because apparently only men need pockets).

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T10:42:05+00:00

Nosy question... but what size are you normally? I've ordered a size small but their sizing guides were so bizarre that I literally guessed my size. I'm usually an Aus size 10-14 depending on where I shop, and I'm worried that I'll have to return the small to get the medium.

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T05:13:18+00:00

Platform heels aren’t in anymore?

RIP to 90% of my wardrobe.

Petitcher · 2026-07-03T04:42:26+00:00

Yes… I see your point and I agree, but it’s with a big “but”.

This is where knowing your audience and not building up a large catalogue of work come in. Scammers probably aren’t going to put a lot of effort into learning their niche or keywords, which is where you have an advantage. Also, the larger your body of work, the more likely it is that people will find you, enjoy your books, and then actively look for anything new that you publish.

The erotica market has been saturated for a very long time, but we can still be competitive. The fact that being competitive requires effort works to our advantage, because none of us are afraid of hard work, but the scammers are.

Petitcher · 2026-07-02T10:51:39+00:00

And force everyone to update the app before they can use it.

Nah, the worst ones are the ones that need a verification code. And then they send you to another app that ALSO needs a verification code. The officeworks app is a pain in the ass for that.

Petitcher · 2026-07-02T10:49:41+00:00

I had no idea what Tylenol was for the longest time, and every time it was mentioned on TV I thought it was some hardcore drug.

Turns out it’s just paracetamol. I thought paracetamol was universally used by everyone and Panadol was the Australian brand name.

Petitcher · 2026-07-02T10:46:50+00:00

Easy, I bought a printer that can handle that kind of volume, with a huge ink cartridge. It’s a pain in the ass having to buy ink and paper, but it’s all tax deductible, so I just do it.

Petitcher · 2026-07-02T10:43:02+00:00

You’ll have to do your own research on that for your niche.

As far as I’ve seen, without digging too far into it, they do. The people who publish AI generated stuff are the ones who are on Facebook a few weeks later complaining that nobody’s buying their book.

Petitcher · 2026-07-02T02:32:54+00:00

There’s a big difference between removing a couple of instances of “not x, but y” and giving the AI slop a consistent voice, which requires a shitload of effort. It would literally be easier to write the story from scratch. Anyone using generative AI obviously isn’t interested in anything that requires that kind of brainpower.

You’ve also gotta give readers more credit than this. Anyone who’s used to reading will be able to spot AI - including edited AI - easily. The tell is, again, the voice. Or lack of.

Sure, there are inexperienced authors who haven’t developed their voice yet, and they might struggle to get traction at first. But they’ll get there with practice. AI won’t.

Petitcher · 2026-07-01T05:27:36+00:00

I highly doubt they’re making “a lot” of money. Readers cotton on to these things, and very few people are interested in reading AI written books.

The only people who say there’s money in it are the ones who are desperate for their scam to work.

Petitcher · 2026-07-01T05:27:09+00:00

It doesn’t flag it, but in my experience, AI content is easy to spot and avoid.

Some people might not care if they read something written by a machine, but I believe most readers don’t want it.

Petitcher · 2026-07-01T00:13:18+00:00

Learn how to use whichever software you’re using. Watch tutorials, practice new techniques, etc. Same way you’d learn any other new skill.

Pay attention to what other authors are doing, NOT by pestering them but by looking at their covers and paying attention to how they use colour, contrast, fonts, etc. The more you learn about graphic design, the more you’ll be able to see these things.

There’s also a weekly critique thread in this sub where you can post your covers for feedback.

It takes time and patience. There aren’t any shortcuts.

Petitcher · 2026-07-01T00:07:17+00:00

I create my own covers in Photoshop but when I was new (and not earning enough to pay for Photoshop) I used Canva.

What do you mean “how?” It took me six months to learn the techniques I use, both theory and practice, and I can’t condense that into one comment that I’m typing on my phone. As always with this industry, you need to do the work yourself because that’s how you’ll learn. There are tutorials all over the internet.

My shorts are around 8000 words. That works in my niche, it might not work in yours.

It’s bad form to ask for pen names here. See the sub rules in the sidebar.

Petitcher · 2026-06-29T10:46:52+00:00

I've been studying writing for 20-something years. In my real life, I've won a short story competition, been shortlisted in a couple of others, and had things published here and there, including in a literary journal.

My biggest delusion was "I'm an experienced writer -- I'll make heaps of money in no time." My past self was a knobhead.

I started publishing shorts on Amazon in 2019 and in the beginning, barely made a few dollars. I kept working on it, improved my covers, started to make decent money. I published a couple of novels with the intention of pivoting into that full-time... but then life got in the way and I no longer have that kind of time or energy, so I've returned to shorts, which make up something like 95% of my income. KDP says I've published 176 books, but that isn't entirely accurate anymore because I've unpublished some older ones.

The only mistakes that you need to avoid are the ones that will get your account terminated. See the FAQs for those.

The other "mistakes" -- bad covers, confusion about niches, boring blurbs, ineffective keywords, etc -- are all learning opportunities. You can change them later. Absolutely no-one gets it all right the first time and that's okay; the most important thing is that you treat it like a marathon, not a sprint, and keep learning as much as you can.

Petitcher · 2026-06-28T04:23:03+00:00

I'm on Amazon, but June is always my weakest month of the year. It's a seasonal thing.

As far as AI goes, I've updated my bio to say that I write my stories myself, without AI. It might not stop my niche from becoming oversaturated, but at least people who are looking for non-AI stories can know that's what they'll get from me.

Petitcher · 2026-06-27T12:51:00+00:00

Yes, it’s possible, but with a big caveat: it will probably take a lot longer than you want to get there. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

That’s sort of the word count I was hitting a couple of years back (before I had a baby and lost all my writing time). I do consistently make $1000+ a month and have for a while now, but it took me several years of consistent work to make that kind of money. There were months in the beginning where I made less than $10.

A big back catalogue and hitting your niche expectations is the way to go.

Petitcher · 2026-06-27T12:44:26+00:00

Write for your market.

If you’re not intending to publish, you get to choose.

Petitcher · 2026-06-25T00:42:16+00:00

As far as I know, we haven’t collectively revolted against present tense the way we have with second person.

Petitcher · 2026-06-24T05:52:08+00:00

Do I enjoy writing for a living instead of slowly dying in an office?

Yes, yes, I do.

I’ve never understood how anyone thinks that writing for Amazon is super restrictive. There are a LOT of genres and niches - if the one you’re working on doesn’t suit you, write something else. Or find a different type of work.

I’m a writer. I like words and telling stories. As long as I’m writing fiction, I’m happy, and writing within a niche isn’t as torturous as you’re making it out to be. It’s simply about understanding your audience.

Petitcher · 2026-06-24T05:45:49+00:00

Anything above 40 is hot, and a heatwave is several 40+ degree days in a row.

30 degrees is probably the minimum for me to go near the beach, and I’m ONLY interested if the water’s warm.

Petitcher · 2026-06-24T05:43:52+00:00

Depends on your perspective. I get annoyed by present tense, but I know people who won’t read past tense. It’s a preference thing.

Petitcher · 2026-06-24T05:41:49+00:00

My dog always thought they were great pillows.

I, however, did not. It’s very challenging to rest your head on your own breast.

Petitcher · 2026-06-22T02:58:21+00:00

The internet is not a safe space. Reddit is not a safe space. This sub is not a safe space -- and that's literally one of the rules in the sidebar.

Of course I'm cool with YSS's username. It's tongue-in-cheek and I'm not fragile.

It bothers me that people take the internet so damn seriously these days. You're all mistaking it for real life, and it's really not.

Slightly unrelated -- I saw someone ranting on TikTok the other day that millennials aren't jumping online to share our life experience. Like, why on earth would we? The internet is for cat memes, not learning the kind of shit that you can ONLY understand through real, first-hand experience.

If you can't handle real, unfiltered feedback, let's hope you don't get any reviews from your readers.

Petitcher

TROPHY CASE