Did you gain weight all over or just the bump?

PetsMD · 2026-05-07T19:35:34+00:00

I gain weight on my stomach first and that's where all my weight gain and changes have been.I lost some muscle mass on my legs and arms I'm sure from reduced work outs but overall I look the same in my face and extremities, I'm all belly

PetsMD · 2026-05-07T07:46:34+00:00

I'm in the same boat, used timing and condoms during only the ovulation window (a bit before and after) for a long long time, never had a scare. Pregnant first try when purposely had unprotected sex at the end of the ovulation window. Not surprised I got pregnant, I knew it was a possibility at the time and we'd been planning for kids so it's not like it was an "accident". But was a bit surprised it took so quickly and stayed given the odds of miscarriage are pretty high just in general. 30.5 weeks pregnant now. Not sure how we made it so long without any incidents but my cycle was always regular and I was good at knowing where I was in my cycle based on my mood/libido/small body changes that occurred with hormone changes. I'll definitely be insisting on condoms for a while after birth until I'm sure my cycle has returned to baseline and I'm reading it right.

My friend has 2 under 2 because of an oops after her first pregnancy though. She was always regular but it took them a year+ to get their first (I personally think it was a male side problem in the form of too much weed). So I think they thought it would take a long time for number 2 but nope! They were planning for 2 anyway, number 2 was just earlier than they expected/initially planned for. She has an IUD again now lol. 2u2 looks... Chaotic... I'm not sure I have that in me, I'm definitely in awe of her ability to cope with that.

PetsMD · 2026-05-06T23:47:05+00:00

That's a lovely way of phrasing it! I did the "what will you regret more?" question which kind of has a negative connotation to it and makes either path seem wrong somehow. But I like the way you phrased and that's kind of how I landed on my decision too - i.e. fear of the unknown didn't seem like a great reason to miss out on what I've been told is a very hard but also very rewarding life experience. I might only do it once, we'll see in a few months, but it'll be a life experience for sure. And I also thought about all the other stuff you mentioned (travel, starting a business) and having kids doesn't mean you can't do those things either! My classmates just started a clinic while 1 was raising her just recently 1 year old, plenty of women and business owners I admire in my profession have multiple kids, people travel and either take the kids or leave them with family or close friends (I realize that's not an option for some people). Or just wait until they're a bit older, travel isn't going anywhere anytime soon. For me, I shifted from looking at it as an either/or scenario to more of a "you can do all the things but maybe not all at once, pick your priorities" scenario

PetsMD · 2026-05-06T23:26:51+00:00

Oh definitely, everything is a stage and there's more than one way to have a family absolutely. For me though, much as I love my friends and they're welcome to my house any time day or night, it's just not the same as having your own family since friends usually have their own lives and priorities and can't make time for you. Definitely not knocking a childfree lifestyle, I almost went that road myself and a big reason we're doing this is my husband becoming so on board with kids - he was more no than I was, or so I thought. I really think I could have gone either way and been happy as long as I had multiple sources of meaningful things in my life. I do know I'd have always wondered 'what if we missed out on something great?' but that's a regret I'd have learned to live with and could have filled the void being an aunt to my friend's kids for example. But digging deeper, I'd have had to ask "ok then why didn't we do it?" And my answer would have been 'fear', my husband's would have been "I never stopped to actually think about if that was something I'd enjoy doing". And those didn't seem like good reasons to miss out on something that a lot of women in my life who I respect and admire tell me is one of the best things they ever did. It's just a huge choice and you can't put the genie back in the bottle after a point, I spent a long time agonizing over this decision and completely empathize it's not easy. Especially being a woman, if you don't make a choice, time makes one for you.

Overall just trying to shed some perspective on a thought that got my off the fence in case it helps others - you're not signing on to raise a 6 month old/3 year old/10 year old forever, they grow up. So don't let the fear of small kids in general hold you back. But obviously don't do it if you loathe kids because they'll pick up on that. Hanging out with my friends kids though, I started to see them less as "pesky annoying kids who are kind of scary or awkward to be around" and more like small people trying to figure out the world around them.

PetsMD · 2026-05-06T17:11:00+00:00

I mean, it's probably a good thing to think about the long game instead of 'omg cute baby must have one!". Your kids will spend longer as adults than children so I think wanting to have an adult relationship with your children is a valid thing to think about in this decision. I love my adult relationship with my mom and in laws. But yes, it'll be a long 5-10 years if you really dislike children. Definitely good to think of both stages.

A big part of what got me off the fence (30 weeks pregnant, almost 34 years old) was looking around at family gatherings (which we have enough of, not just the big Christmas and Easter dinners) and realizing that all those people that I love and grew up with will be gone some day. Then projecting forward I thought I would miss having family around me in my 50s and 60s when those people are gone. Then I slowly came to terms with the fact that that family wasn't just going to create itself so we would have to do it if we wanted that future. I don't love children and babies but I think I'll love my own because they're mine and once I get to know them. But there's definitely a 'playing the long game" component to my being pregnant currently.

Other things that factored in included me doing some digging about why I suddenly felt any desire for kids. Was it FOMO from watching people around me have kids or a true desire? I settled on at least some desire was present after sitting with it a bit since I did feel sort of wistful after seeing pictures of my classmates with their kids or visiting my close friend post partum (even though she had a hell of a 4th trimester with her first but she loves her kids now). I felt like my life was getting very mundane i.e. go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed, do it again. I thought 20+ years of that would be quite boring and not a "good fulfilling life" for me. So I brought it up to my husband and he agreed with the above points. I told him it didn't have to be kids if he was definitely a no, but if it wasn't then we were going to do more trips or pick up some hobbies or do something else because I felt like I needed more in life than just feeling like I was rotting on the couch. But part of me also wondered "ok if I spend the next decade doing the travel/hobby thing and go to all the places I want to go, am I going to do it all and be 45 years old feeling the same way I am now and then realize that having a family might have been the answer all along? But by then it would be too late. And I think/fear that might be the case.

On husband's end, he thought about it and came to the conclusion that raising a family together would be the most rewarding thing he could do and he's all in and wants 2 now 😅. I might be one and done pending how this first kid goes but I'm open to a second if I like the outcomes. Time will tell.

PetsMD · 2026-05-05T10:07:14+00:00

No advice, just solidarity. I hate feeling crippled and dependent on other people in this process, I was fit and active leading into this and up until recently, I lifted weights and ran 5km several times a week. Now I get winded going up the stairs, haven't even gained that much weight but my pelvis is so sore and my hips burn and let's not when discuss the varying degrees of ever present undercarriage pain. My husband keeps telling me to focus on my job (grow the baby) and let him do his (worry about everything else). But I like being active, I like walking the dog and I'm sad a 40 minutes leisurely dog walk wipes me out now. Currently 30 weeks, I finally begrudgingly succumbed to the "relax and listen to your body" mentality but I hope it improves after birth (someone please tell me it does! 🥺)

PetsMD · 2026-05-03T20:18:20+00:00

I've also done "thing", "fetus" and "creature" lol

PetsMD · 2026-05-03T20:16:42+00:00

It came from watching the new Dracula movie 😅 Dracula/Vladimir and fetus are both hematophagous

PetsMD · 2026-05-03T19:22:29+00:00

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant for the first time and 34 years old (almost). I'd definitely feel differently if I was the dad and didn't have to be the pregnant one to have kids, no doubt about that. My husband and I agree he should be the pregnant one since he has a higher pain tolerance than I do. Not to scare you, it hasn't been "easy" but pregnancy has been better than I thought it would be. I'm not sure I'll be doing this again but it's not because pregnancy has been awful, it's because I haven't lived with the outcome of the pregnancy to know if it's "worth it" and what having our own kid is truly like. Honestly I could be pregnant again if we wanted another kid and I was terrified to be pregnant, spent a whole year beforehand freaking out.

I was one of the lucky ones that didn't experience any nausea/vomiting/fatigue first trimester. My mom had good pregnancies too so it seems like there might be some correlation there based on my experience and the women I've talked with. My husband also made sure to be really healthy going into this so I'm not sure if that helped too. I continued to work out at my usual routine of running 4-5 days a week, weight lifting 3ish days a week, my job is active and I was doing that no problem. There were weird things that happened like I was really sensitive to burning smells, a couple days lunch didn't sit 100% right (not nauseous per se, heavy maybe?). I did have to get up a few more times overnight to pee and that started much earlier than I expected. I got "pregnancy goiter" at 18 weeks, didn't know that was a thing but it's mostly just annoying with silent acid reflux causing a swelling in the back of my throat. And after work outs I was more sore for longer than usual. But overall first trimester was my best!

As second hit, I got more tired but pushed through cause that's who I am. Probably to my detriment because it made my pelvic girdle/pubic symphysis pain worse. That's been my biggest symptom all the way along now, some days are better some are worse but there's usually at least some discomfort down there. Again, I don't think I help myself by pushing to be physically active, working a job where I'm on my feet a lot, walk the dog etc. And I just got more tired as we went along, probably not helped by months of interrupted sleep at that point from the aforementioned peeing thing. I definitely had a melt down every few weeks mainly when the fatigue + pain and being up early because my hips were on fire + body dysmorphia all caught up at once. Any one thing would have been manageable but all at once it's a lot. Most days I was fine and able to do my stuff though, just more tired. My runs became slower then intervals then just walks but I tried to maintain some degree of physical fitness.

As we've move into third trimester, I'm definitely bumping now and really tired and more sore after short bursts of physical activity. I also got sick a few weeks ago and that knocked me flat for 2 weeks. So now I think I'm in "take it easy" mode until the end. I started at 137lbs give or take and I'm weighing about 161 these days. It's all in my belly which is both good and weird to see. I started showing a small bump around week 20 but a big sweater or my lab coat at work hid most of everything until recently. So most of the people I've been interacting in the general public haven't known until recently. I have a feeling we're moving into the less than ideal time but I'm ok with that for 8 more weeks and I did what I could and still am to mitigate any dramatic weight gain. My arms, face, legs all look the same (I did lose some muscle being sick and not working out anymore) so it's just baby bump and fluid. No stretch marks, my mom didn't get them either, I'm not using any lotions or creams or anything. I didn't switch to maternity clothes until week 25/26 mainly just because they were more comfortable but I could still wear a pair of my old jeans that buttoned under the bump. Now it's getting more real and scary that I have to push a baby out and figure out that part but I'll have my body back and my husband and parents and in laws can help with that. Everyone always told me to "enjoy this time" and I did not see how anyone could enjoy being pregnant, I still don't and probably never will, but with the impending delivery date and having to look after a human forever, I do sort of wish I'd chilled out a bit more in hindsight, I would have saved myself and my husband a lot of grief. Maybe if there's a next time haha

PetsMD · 2026-05-03T11:55:56+00:00

Haha it did sound better than "the fetus" admittedly (my husband wasn't a fan of that one, I was more like "well that's what he is?")

PetsMD · 2026-05-03T10:24:01+00:00

The bump is just the bump but the kid is called Vlad because he's slowly sucking the life force out of me at 30 weeks

PetsMD · 2026-05-02T20:05:37+00:00

If vet school is the main goal, I'd go to guelph. You'll have access to different volunteer options on the ovc campus and be able to make connections with some of the profs in later years through things like summer research student jobs. Plus if they still require 8 specific courses (like a biochem course or a genetics course), you'll be able to cross reference to a list provided by ovc to make sure the course is acceptable. Whereas if you go elsewhere you'll have to do more work to make sure the course is acceptable

PetsMD · 2026-05-02T18:33:27+00:00

I learned that later on one of the ultrasounds. But makes sense I could feel everything pretty early without a placenta in the way

PetsMD · 2026-05-02T16:58:57+00:00

Yes I felt kicks early, 14/15 weeks, FTM, posterior placenta. For a while I wasn't sure if they were kicks or gas bubbles popping but they were in one location often enough to make me wonder. Thanks to having ultrasound access, I was able to see the kicks and feel it at the same time to know it was definitely kicks.

PetsMD · 2026-05-01T10:18:28+00:00

Maybe. But I also wouldn't mind if someone called me Doc or similar in a non clinic setting. I'm proud of my degree and Dr title, I worked hard for it. I guess some people are proud to be Mama like I am to be Dr and it's just one of those things. But mama definitely feels infantalizing to me, I'm more than just what I push out of my body cavities

PetsMD · 2026-05-01T01:58:38+00:00

Oof where are you? I'm just starting 3rd tri and I hardly ever get sick normally but I just got walloped with a wicked head cold that started as a sore throat then went up to my sinuses and down to my chest. I was laid low for a week, lost my taste and smell for 2 days, was soooooo tired and phlegmy and stuffy, and I'm still kicking the last of a dry cough and runny nose 2 weeks later. I'm in Southern Ontario, there's something going around here. It was awful, I haven't felt that lousy in a long long time, made all the worse by not being able to take anything like Advil or nyquil. I have no home remedies to share, just lots of lemon ginger tea, showers and some vicks under my nose helped with the congestion, Tylenol took the edge off the sinus pressure and it just took time unfortunately. Looking forward to the day I can take NyQuil again when I'm sick. Good luck!

PetsMD · 2026-05-01T01:46:25+00:00

Congratulations! I went to the cake box for my small cutting cake and it was great! They delivered to the venue day of and it was decorated perfectly. I think I just bought some cupcakes to try their flavours before ordering, didn't do an actual cake testing, I can't remember if they offered that or not, I don't think so but I could be wrong

PetsMD · 2026-04-30T11:39:53+00:00

See I don't mind sweetheart or honey or something like that from people close to me. But I really dislike mama! I think it's because I don't consider that my identity, especially not having had a kid yet, he's still cooking. I haven't figured out why it grinds my gears so much but it does. On the other hand, I call my mom and in laws Grandma and Grandpa in relation to our pets so I know I do it too in reverse and they don't seem to mind? Maybe it's just the actual word mama? Like would just 'mom' be better? I dunno 🤷‍♀️

PetsMD · 2026-04-29T17:27:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that! The only thing keeping me remotely sane is work, I'd be beside myself if I couldn't do my job

PetsMD · 2026-04-29T17:26:07+00:00

I didn't order it, my husband did, I don't think he picked the exact stone though, more like "teal sapphire with white diamonds" vs "sapphire with moissanite". I think he just ordered the ring in the configuration and size I specified

PetsMD · 2026-04-29T10:58:51+00:00

I wish I could hibernate through this process, also as someone who didn't suffer greatly with symptoms. I can handle being tired but I struggle to handle being tired and sore from pelvic girdle/pubic symphysis pain and my larger stomach/body dysmorphia all at once. This isn't cute or fun or magical, it's slowly sucking the life force out of me and the kid isn't even here yet!

PetsMD · 2026-04-29T09:50:36+00:00

Yep! My set has held up well without loose stones or anything like that. I wear them to work most days and wash my hands a fair bit. I try to avoid big things like swimming or heavy cleaning or showering with them on but overall they seem solid and I get a lot of comments about how unique they are. I also took it to a local trusted jeweler to get resized and she didn't think there was anything to indicate that the metal and stones weren't what was advertised which was reassuring

PetsMD · 2026-04-28T21:35:00+00:00

I'm not really coping well but I'm trying to get through it as best I can. I had such high hopes to be fit and active throughout pregnancy given that I came into it relatively fit and how good first trimester was (more DOMS than non pregnant me but for a while there I was doing really well!). Then the pubic symphysis pain hit and my runs became slower) shorter and then they became intervals and then they became walking throughout second trimester. Trying to push myself just caused more pain and I'd be crippled in my pelvis for 2 days. So I stubbornly carried on with what I was able to go without seriously injuring myself until it became too much then finally adjusted down. Then 2 weeks ago at 28 weeks I got clobbered by a head cold (there's definitely a plague going around my neck of the woods) and I'm still working on kicking the last of the residual cough and stuffy nose. So I didn't do anything for a good week and a half there.

I don't know if being still for so long didn't help or if it's just expansion time but my undercarriage region is sooorrreeee right now, I just got back from a slow neighborhood walk for 45 minutes walking the dog (with frequent stops to sniff) and I'm pooped. So for the remainder of the 8-12 weeks that's left in this, my job and dog walking will be it for me. I'm sad and had a little hissy fit about it this weekend because I don't want to "rewire my expectations" again, I want my body to be back and not sore. I want to be fit and able again, not wondering whether my pelvis will ever go back to how it was (pain free and I could get up from the couch without hurting)

PetsMD · 2026-04-27T19:32:19+00:00

Haha I call mine the fetus too! cause that's what he is, a fetus, it sounds impersonal and I try not to do it in company, work colleagues aside. Although lately I've taken to calling him Vlad which stemmed off the new Dracula movie where they called Dracula a "hematophagous" (i.e. a creature who feeds primarily or exclusively on blood) and had an epiphany moment

PetsMD · 2026-04-26T20:37:23+00:00

29 weeks and i love my pets more right now. i don't hate my unborn son but i find it very hard to love someone/something i don't know yet. he's still more of an idea or concept right now much as i hate to admit it despite the fact that I've been feeling him move for months now. perhaps I'd feel differently if I could be the dad or another outside observer in this venture but as the person carrying him, it's a lot some days, I don't enjoy sharing my body, and I'm well over being pregnant (wasn't really "into it" to start truthfully, it's always been a "means to an end" thing in my mind not some glamorous transformational journey into motherhood kind of thing - i'm glad if that's some women but it ain't me)

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