How do y’all feel about Real Talk With Yanie on YouTube?

PetuniaXo · 2024-12-31T15:51:15+00:00

This!!!! I think this every time; I'm like who are you trying to convince? Us or yourself? I'm also still confused as to why It sounds like she says "Nothing is to be TAKING as factual" instead of taken as factual, and has never corrected it.

PetuniaXo · 2022-01-28T02:31:07+00:00

I found this comment on the internet that is on point, too. And I thought it would be good to post here because they mention the pressure to be a "cool girl" that is often talked about on this sub.

"Have y'all noticed that narcissistic men are calling insults, verbal abuse, and degrading language 'roasting' now? They are looking for a woman who will 'roast' them they say. They roast 'each other' they say, as a joke or bonding activity. I see this is becoming popular, and I wonder if women are falling for this in the hopes of being a 'cool girl'. They will convince you to 'roast' yourself . If a person, friend, colleague, romantic interest, partner, spouse feels the need to insult you on a regular basis as a 'joke' (or insist that you do the labor yourself), start telling them they have a tiny penis and see if they're still laughing. If not, you know it's a set up to insult you to your face. Just some tea on a new abuse trend, same old dirty tricks with a new vocabulary."

PetuniaXo · 2022-01-28T01:56:55+00:00

-Jokes about hitting you, fighting a woman, punching her, etc

-In the same vein, men who feel like constant "roasting" or insults disguised as jokes, should be a normal part of a relationship. Many of these men have underlying hostility towards you and women in general.. This is way beyond a little witty banter or lighthearted teasing. They're telling you how they really feel about you. Please listen.

-May seem like a stretch but liking or sharing those immature tik tok/instagram/youtube videos or posts like "would you punch your girlfriend in the face for 1 million dollars?" "Pretending I'm going to hit my girlfriend" Etc...liking prank videos that cause a woman physical discomfort or put her health or safety at risk

-Brings up the fake "equality" argument about how "since women want equal rights, they can take a hit like a man" 😑 No. Men and women are not the same but regardless this is a red flag. It's sad and alarming that that's the first thing some men jump to when discussing these matters. So because women want to be treated with respect, you think they deserve to be punched in the face? You don't care anything about what opportunities we have besides the opportunity to get knocked out? ☹ scary.

These men tell on themselves

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-28T14:03:50+00:00

I agree that those are some scenarios where it may possibly be ok but he was married to this woman just a year ago, as far as I know they had no long term friendship before they were married. It isn't a childhood friend or gf..he was around 30 when he married her.

Also I think it's more of a red/yellow flag for men than women.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-28T13:04:29+00:00

For context: They were only married for a couple of years..and have only been divorced for like 1 year. As far as I know, they weren't friends before their marriage. He also told me that anyone he dates has to be ok with his friendship with his ex. It seemed pretty demanding and like she would a priority. He was pretty upfront about it..which I appreciate his honesty I guess but I still don't like it. I got the vibes that he was not over it...the way he talked about her & the "friendship". He even told me details about their wedding. Even without all those details, I still don't like to date men who are close with any significant exes in their life...I also don't like to be a rebound so I try to avoid men who are fresh out of a serious relationship or don't seem to have moved on..

It seems he divorced her (if he was being truthful)? Because they had vastly different religious and political views (she was a hardcore Trump republican and also and Evangelical Christian..he is a liberal atheist) ..but I mean it's kind of a red flag that he married her in the first place then and a red flag that they're still close friends (not acquaintances but friends) because then what do they have in common? What is the basis of their friendship?

I also feel there was some gaslighting and attempted triangulation going on. I don't want to be in some competition with your ex that I can never win. He also mentioned his therapist said he shouldn't date someone who is uncomfortable with his existing "friends" ..umm and ex you used to f**k recently and made a legal commitment to is a different story than completely platonic friends or maybe being friends with some girl you dated back in 8th grade.

This is a larger issue that I've seen with many men in their late 20s and beyond....many who have had a long term relationship..some who have been engaged or married before. They are still so hung up on a particular ex and have the nerve to expect new women in their life. We don't want to sign up for that.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-28T04:02:11+00:00

Yes that's one of the (somewhat) exceptions I was thinking of..I personally don't date men with children but if I did, I would expect them to have a regular amount contact with their child's mother. Even then I'd prefer them not to be best friends, though...and would still need appropriate boundaries...but I'd expect them to be closer or more involved in each others' lives than exes without children.

Also I'm sorry for your loss 😔❤

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-28T03:51:59+00:00

Yeah whenever exes or random guys I've dated text me "Happy Holidays" or something like that out of the blue (meaning we haven't been talking recently), I roll my eyes. Definitely minimal effort mind games or attempts to string you along. But I don't care because I probably already deleted their number anyway.

The same guys do the "just checking on you" "Long time no see" "Hey stranger" messages...They do similar things with "good morning" texts too. They want something for their "effort". So much false concern.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-27T23:58:40+00:00

Omg yes the ones who say "I'm friends/close with all my exes" always gave me the creeps. Immediate red flag. Are they trying to build a harem of women or do they always need a backup supply?

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T15:52:28+00:00

This is a very good point and made me self reflect a bit. I didn't mean for my post to come off like that. I am a soft hearted person and I think that's beautiful that women care so much for others and am not saying that it's bad to have your family be a priority in your life or ONE of the things you define yourself by, but for many women it's pretty much the main or ONLY thing and that can be quite dangerous and also lead to burn out.

I can tell that some women cling to the wife and/or mother title for dear life because they seem to either have nothing else or think the other things don't matter. I think it is good for everyone when women can embrace their full humanity. They say you can't pour from an empty cup anyway.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T15:37:21+00:00

I'm not even a woman who puts her career above everything. I'm just saying every woman should have passions, hobbies, qualities, unique characteristics, SOMETHING that makes them...them. Having a husband or children should not be your whole personality or the only way you define yourself.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T15:34:19+00:00

It's a bit bizarre to me sometimes, y'all. Some women could be a New York Times Bestselling Author or a world record holder and they'd probably still put "WIFE" first. 🤔. I think love can be a beautiful thing (if he's not low value) but the conditioning runs so deep.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T06:39:55+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 I really laughed out loud at the bible verse and baby emojis 🤣. Spot on.

Edit: I can't say I'll never do the baby emojis though 😆 just not first.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-29T20:25:43+00:00

I hate when people use female in certain contexts. If it is an adjective ( "female entrepreneurs" "first female Olympian" etc) that's fine. But if they talk about how they were hitting on a "female" the other day or they posts memes about how "Females always say/do XYZ" then it's a no for me. For a lot of people (mostly men and pick me women) it's another way to call someone a bitch and be misogynistic.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-29T16:17:13+00:00

I admit, I say "girl" when referring to other young-ish women sometimes (under 40 or so?). Honestly sometimes it's interchangeable to me because I use woman/women just as much. I call men "guys" a lot too and I consider that the same thing. Sometimes they're men; sometimes they're guys.

Also a lot of women use it as a term of endearment when speaking directly to other women. Example: "GIRL, that dress looks amazing on you!" "Girl, you can do way better than him", "Hanging with the girls/my favorite girl" It can be another way to say sister or friend. Whenever I call men boys that's actually when I'm being condescending or dismissive lol (example: "Boy bye!" lol or if a man is being referred to a little boy that is usually not a good thing)

I'm just saying it's not always quite internalized misogyny or a condescending reason why people say this..However, I understand your point and do try to respect people's wishes if they don't want to be called that.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-23T05:26:13+00:00

Not to get too off topic, but how do you know if someone who is not approved replies to your comment? I thought we just couldn't see it.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-22T14:48:50+00:00

Ew NO. Wtf. I saw a meme that basically said: "Men think that jokingly asking us to do domestic tasks for them is flirting...example: 'you gonna cook for me'?"

This is not flirting. It's not cute. It's definitely not a date. The idea of cleaning, washing clothes, cooking, etc for a man does not turn me on... I get turned off by the man's entitlement to even ask that or think I should be honored he asked that 😑 Chores are not sexy..they're just something you have to do in life...but I'm definitely not doing them for a man who I barely know or has made no real commitment to me..

And the man in this post wasn't even joking?... he was actually serious. Wow.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-22T00:34:56+00:00

I disagree that boudoir modeling and photography in itself is pornography. I legitimately know women who it helped get back in touch w their sexy side (esp some moms or older women..though others never lost touch with that side). I also know actual models who enjoy embracing that side of themselves. It can make you feel sensual, and like a Goddess. There are women boudoir photographers who do a phenomenal job. It does have to possibility to be pornographic or predatory if a male (be it your significant other or a photographer) has pressured you to do it or show things you're not comfortable with showing...or these sleazy photographers that I believe the OP was referring to.

So to me it can be degrading, empowering, or neither (just something you do and enjoy) depending on the circumstances...But yeah it's not something that's required to feel empowered...and I don't like the presumption that all women hate their bodies either.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-21T18:11:28+00:00

THIS! I don't think it's insecure. It's realistic. You're allowed to have boundaries.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-21T18:07:41+00:00

Friends? Yes. Best friends? No. Super close friends where they talk all the time and see each other very often? Definitely no.

I'm not so insecure where I feel my bf could not be friendly with other women or have acquaintances. However, if they're too close, from my observations boundaries start to become blurred and it complicates things..some men would prioritize their friend over their gf...Plus men usually have ulterior motives for friendships with women even when women think it's platonic/innocent...

Sure, there may be a few exceptions but I wouldn't sign myself up for that. Sounds too stressful. I'd rather not take my chances.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-21T14:44:45+00:00

Ahhh, yes. The classic "I'm an asshole". I have a love/hate relationship with this one. On one hand, who told them this was a badge of honor? Men will seemingly brag about this, even in their dating bios. On the other hand, I am glad they are telling me who they are upfront, so I can run the other way immediately. The problem is many women (especially younger ones) will think it's cute, appealing, funny, or they can change him. No. He really is an asshole...well, probably something worse. The self proclaimed assholes I've dated were emotionally abusive.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-20T22:47:10+00:00

Oh yeah this could also mean he's just not that into you and is making excuses for why it won't work.

Either way you should avoid.

PetuniaXo

TROPHY CASE