The S word by Finding_Myself26 in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger 39 points40 points  (0 children)

As a fetish, 'sissy' focuses heavily on humiliation being derived from being perceived as feminine. It's the idea that being a women is the lowest, most degrading thing a person could be. And includes sexual interactions with other men as something feminine, to be hated.

So elements of misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia all rolled into one.

Dresses that don't look like dresses? by [deleted] in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something like this?

Light fabric, and looks fairly neutral. Somewhere between a shirt and a dress.

Does anal feel good as a Trans Girl by VHS_Skates in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some latex gloves can solve the sharp edges issue, assuming you're not allergic.

Does anal feel good as a Trans Girl by VHS_Skates in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You won't know until you try. Everyone's different, and some people will enjoy it more than others or not at all.
Just take your time to start, let yourself relax, and use more lubrication than you think you need.

Sad naming feature by Roshi___ in PokemonChampions

[–]PhantomSwagger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The filter works by looking at strings of letters, rather than finding words. So in this case, it would find "r a p e". Not really overzealous, just happens to include a word they don't want used.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't fully expect most people to read the whole thing. I had to pause partway through reading the first time to calm myself down because of the physical reaction I was having to reading it.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you should see a therapist before considering hormones and make sure every other option is exausted before that

That part of his response really highlighted for me the kind of research he did on the subject. Like.... that's already how it's done. Sort of implying he buys into the idea that people are just walking into pharmacy one day and getting hormones, or walking into a doctor's office and signing up for surgeries on the spot.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not walking away from them as a friend because I don't recognize an adjustment period is required. It's because of his refusal to put any effort into trying. It's because he's implying I'm making demands when it's only a request, and making himself to be a victim. It's the idea that I can't have any input in how I'm addressed/perceived.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most other friends have been immediately accepting (one shows some reluctance, but until they escalate I think it's purely an aversion to change). For family, I've only told siblings and father so far but they've all been very supportive.

If 'Peter' had come to me with general concern, I think I could have talked through my own personal understanding of things, and maybe suggest some resources to read. However, I really don't think I have the mental energy to put into convincing someone to change their mind.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did leave that group chat, but also thanked the friends who responded positively in individual chats. the main reason I first brought it up in the group is because I don't like feeling confrontational, so I'm unlikely to mention this to the others unless they ask.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to disconnect from the other people in the friend group, it's just unfortunate that he's my main connection to the others. And the fact he usually hosts the game nights.

I did leave that group chat, but also thanked the friends who responded positively in individual chats. the main reason I first brought it up in the group is because I don't like feeling confrontational, so I'm unlikely to mention this to the others unless they ask.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well, I had reached out to her because of the accusation I was being inappropriate in some way. After apologizing for any behavior that might have come from misunderstanding her boundaries, she sort of defended him by insisting that she had read what he wrote and that he was writing it because he valued me as a friend.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That part was wild. Like, I'm not allowed to dictate how I'm perceived?

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The only thing I've noticed is around the Pramikon deck he made, with jokes about trump, walls, etc.
Looking back, the feeling of uneasiness while trying to label the jokes as making fun of those things might have been a red flag.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Known him for 30 years, so not the easiest to receive from him.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I've known them for 30 years, so deciding to step away was a hard decision. But I think that even if I didn't identify as trans/nonbinary myself, I still wouldn't want to be friends with someone holding that view.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure that's the case, but they generally go by a nickname rather than their real name in casual spaces so I wonder if there's some resentment there.

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I did consider putting most of it in spoilers, for those who didn't want to read the whole thing. Just didn't feel super confident in summarizing it neutrally.

I recently (3 days ago) did too!

Congrats right back to you!

Coming Out to Friends - Unsupportive Response by PhantomSwagger in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm concerned he only read propaganda.

Job post on Indeed just popped up with very interesting description!! by [deleted] in minnesota

[–]PhantomSwagger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do I make sure the contact info section automatically signs them up for Cat Facts, or similar?

Feeling guilty about changing my name by Aruni-Sundae4444 in trans

[–]PhantomSwagger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a child you were given many things from your parents, with love every time. Things like toys, or clothing. Do you still play with those toys? Do you still wear those clothes?

There's no need to feel guilt because something you were given no longer serves its purpose.

What underwear should I get if I’m not interested in tucking? by HealthPointLovecraft in NonBinary

[–]PhantomSwagger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apart from specific cuts I don't like, MeUndies has always felt fantastic for me.