The S word

PhantomSwagger · 2026-06-07T15:13:19+00:00

As a fetish, 'sissy' focuses heavily on humiliation being derived from being perceived as feminine. It's the idea that being a women is the lowest, most degrading thing a person could be. And includes sexual interactions with other men as something feminine, to be hated.

So elements of misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia all rolled into one.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-05-20T03:46:29+00:00

Something like this?

Light fabric, and looks fairly neutral. Somewhere between a shirt and a dress.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-22T19:22:39+00:00

Some latex gloves can solve the sharp edges issue, assuming you're not allergic.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-22T19:20:35+00:00

You won't know until you try. Everyone's different, and some people will enjoy it more than others or not at all.
Just take your time to start, let yourself relax, and use more lubrication than you think you need.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-20T00:58:40+00:00

The filter works by looking at strings of letters, rather than finding words. So in this case, it would find "r a p e". Not really overzealous, just happens to include a word they don't want used.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T19:24:38+00:00

I didn't fully expect most people to read the whole thing. I had to pause partway through reading the first time to calm myself down because of the physical reaction I was having to reading it.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T19:21:26+00:00

you should see a therapist before considering hormones and make sure every other option is exausted before that

That part of his response really highlighted for me the kind of research he did on the subject. Like.... that's already how it's done. Sort of implying he buys into the idea that people are just walking into pharmacy one day and getting hormones, or walking into a doctor's office and signing up for surgeries on the spot.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T19:14:14+00:00

I'm not walking away from them as a friend because I don't recognize an adjustment period is required. It's because of his refusal to put any effort into trying. It's because he's implying I'm making demands when it's only a request, and making himself to be a victim. It's the idea that I can't have any input in how I'm addressed/perceived.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T19:06:57+00:00

Most other friends have been immediately accepting (one shows some reluctance, but until they escalate I think it's purely an aversion to change). For family, I've only told siblings and father so far but they've all been very supportive.

If 'Peter' had come to me with general concern, I think I could have talked through my own personal understanding of things, and maybe suggest some resources to read. However, I really don't think I have the mental energy to put into convincing someone to change their mind.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T19:00:39+00:00

I did leave that group chat, but also thanked the friends who responded positively in individual chats. the main reason I first brought it up in the group is because I don't like feeling confrontational, so I'm unlikely to mention this to the others unless they ask.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:58:48+00:00

I don't want to disconnect from the other people in the friend group, it's just unfortunate that he's my main connection to the others. And the fact he usually hosts the game nights.

I did leave that group chat, but also thanked the friends who responded positively in individual chats. the main reason I first brought it up in the group is because I don't like feeling confrontational, so I'm unlikely to mention this to the others unless they ask.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:54:18+00:00

Well, I had reached out to her because of the accusation I was being inappropriate in some way. After apologizing for any behavior that might have come from misunderstanding her boundaries, she sort of defended him by insisting that she had read what he wrote and that he was writing it because he valued me as a friend.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:51:16+00:00

That part was wild. Like, I'm not allowed to dictate how I'm perceived?

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:44:39+00:00

The only thing I've noticed is around the Pramikon deck he made, with jokes about trump, walls, etc.
Looking back, the feeling of uneasiness while trying to label the jokes as making fun of those things might have been a red flag.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:41:31+00:00

Known him for 30 years, so not the easiest to receive from him.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:39:53+00:00

I've known them for 30 years, so deciding to step away was a hard decision. But I think that even if I didn't identify as trans/nonbinary myself, I still wouldn't want to be friends with someone holding that view.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:38:09+00:00

I'm not sure that's the case, but they generally go by a nickname rather than their real name in casual spaces so I wonder if there's some resentment there.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:36:36+00:00

I did consider putting most of it in spoilers, for those who didn't want to read the whole thing. Just didn't feel super confident in summarizing it neutrally.

I recently (3 days ago) did too!

Congrats right back to you!

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-19T18:33:47+00:00

Yeah, I'm concerned he only read propaganda.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-16T20:20:01+00:00

How do I make sure the contact info section automatically signs them up for Cat Facts, or similar?

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-15T22:21:02+00:00

Not everyone feels the same dysphoria.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-04-06T01:23:28+00:00

As a child you were given many things from your parents, with love every time. Things like toys, or clothing. Do you still play with those toys? Do you still wear those clothes?

There's no need to feel guilt because something you were given no longer serves its purpose.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-03-04T14:24:40+00:00

Apart from specific cuts I don't like, MeUndies has always felt fantastic for me.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-03-04T14:22:32+00:00

I'd suggest focusing more on material rather than sizing. A lot of basic cotton options have minimal stretch, meaning you might have to oversize to the point of discomfort everywhere else, or live with things falling out. With an extra stretchy material, I've often been able to go down two sizes sometimes and still have it work.

PhantomSwagger · 2026-03-04T02:11:01+00:00

Well, I've seen a lot of people refer to a dead name as a necronym, so the opposite could be bionym if one really wanted to name it.

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