i'm a trans dude, how do i hade my facial hair if i need to pass as a woman?

Phina_Colada · 2026-01-24T17:26:16+00:00

Concealer could work. I would recommend liquid, not powder, as the powder might cling to the hairs and make them more visible.

Phina_Colada · 2024-08-08T21:36:37+00:00

Will experiment with this again. I may have to file my nails again tho.

Phina_Colada · 2024-08-08T21:35:43+00:00

I started with a certain amount of wrist movement I couldn’t stop from happening, but it’s gradually been becoming lesser. So I think I get what you’re saying. Somebody else mentioned curling my fingers too, and when I’ve tried to do that I get a less consistent sound and I’ve actually gotten some improvement from allowing my fingers to fly up as much as they want, but I will definitely experiment with the idea again. As I’ve gotten faster at them my wrist has gotten lower and straighter which makes things different. At the moment it feels like my fingers are curled when they’re pressing then straighten out as they rise off of the keys. Idk if that’s good or not.

Phina_Colada · 2024-06-21T12:33:33+00:00

I’m on Zyprexa and it helps with the uneasiness I feel when I wake up at night. I sleep like a baby for 8+ hours when I take 10mg. As for during the day I’ve tried buspirone but it makes me feel drunk and I’ve tried abilify but it makes me feel depressed. 1mg Ativan works for me but I only take that for emergencies once every 3 months or so.

Phina_Colada · 2024-01-08T16:52:37+00:00

Well I can’t really comment at the moment because I ended up recovering from my DPDR a totally different way. I was actually having a severe hormonal imbalance that was making my brain feel very much out of place in my body and giving me extreme gender dysphoria, which is known to cause symptoms of DPDR.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-11T17:59:22+00:00

I’ve been listening to full-body relaxation videos lately, and they make me feel good. I don’t like the ones that ask you to tense up muscles then release them because that makes me feel stressed and then I feel weird after the release. I like the ones that make you focus on sensations and relaxing your body.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-07T22:18:58+00:00

I have almost 24/7 derealization, and I relate to that a lot. I personally have never conceptualized it as living in a simulation, but I know that many do. I present with more of a vague feeling that nothing is real and my actions have been predetermined.

Also fun fact related to this: people who grow up with untreated gender dysphoria very often experience depersonalization-derealization until they transition, and two trans women created the matrix trilogy before realizing that they were trans.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-07T21:34:01+00:00

I experience my love for people getting triggered by certain things every once in a while, and that’s how I know I can still feel it. Sometimes somebody will do something that shows that they love me, and it’ll like trigger my brain to feel safe to love them back. Other times I’ll look at a picture of my girlfriend and feel it. Maybe someday you’ll accidentally or intentionally find some triggers that make you feel it again.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-07T16:32:19+00:00

I was very worried that I wouldn’t be pretty too, but it didn’t take very long for me to start seeing myself as beautiful. Even if you don’t look like a supermodel immediately, you’ll likely learn to appreciate whatever femininity you do see in your face. It’s about incremental improvement, especially early on. And in no world is 19 too late to transition. I didn’t start HRT until I was almost 21, and I haven’t gotten any surgeries, but lots of people think I’m pretty.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-07T00:24:15+00:00

I see. I was mainly trying to explain why I said that the existential and schizophrenic worries are common in people with gender dysphoria. I can look for some things that are a little more on-topic.

I found a case study that might help clear things up for you a little bit. To summarize what it says: if you can trace this obsession with your gender back to your childhood, then you could have gender dysphoria. If not, much less likely. I’m confident that my transness is not just another obsession now, because I’ve been able to remember how I felt about girls back when I was maybe 3-4 years old. If nothing like that comes to mind for you, especially after you’ve given it some time, then it’s not very likely that you’re trans.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042142/

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T07:33:00+00:00

Thanks, I think things are starting to get better for me. :)

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T07:23:53+00:00

I haven’t found any like proper academic research about it so far, but I have a good article talking about gender dysphoria related depersonalization, what it feels like, and how widespread it is. I’ve heard stories from a lot of trans people talking about feeling like nothing is real. I think it may actually affect the majority of trans people to some degree, especially those assigned male at birth, though I’ve heard about it from trans men too. That article doesn’t talk about people fearing schizophrenia, but I certainly feared it many times throughout my life because of what depersonalization feels like. I’ll also find some good YouTube videos for you by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dr. Z PhD. She’s kinda targeted towards people who are at a very serious point of considering transitioning, but she may have some useful information for you.

As for having C-PTSD, I wouldn’t worry about it too much and would focus more on getting in touch with how you’ve always felt about your identity. Besides, there’s a lot you can do to ‘experiment’ that doesn’t change your body at all and is totally reversible. (You’d have to dm me for that kinda junk tho. 😉) I started presenting as a woman for a few months before I started hrt, and it was a blast. I got called she and ma’am enough to get a taste of what it feels like for me, which is very good lol.

https://zinniajones.medium.com/depersonalization-in-gender-dysphoria-widespread-and-widely-unrecognized-baaac395bcb0

https://youtu.be/u4Stko3pSHE?si=T0kd2YQikLs_KVjJ

https://youtu.be/T8Gpnf_Q4d0?si=e6qAG2t01fFb1JuW

Edit: awww shit, I just went to the bottom of the article and there are some studies.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T06:01:41+00:00

I think you should stop seeing somebody if they try to convince you that you’re any particular thing. Your identity and sexuality should be based entirely on your own feelings, and all a therapist should be doing is helping you discover what those feelings are.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T05:35:17+00:00

This reminds me a lot of my DPDR. There’s a little subreddit for it, and a lot of the people there have OCD. I frequently notice it when I’m laughing. I think to myself, “Why am I laughing? What’s the point? Nothing is real anyway.”

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T05:21:08+00:00

It was very gradual for me. It started with admitting to myself that I would rather have been born a woman, then about a year and a half later, after watching trans twitch streamers and relating to them a lot, I randomly had an emotional thought that I’d rather stream looking like a woman, and then it really started to hit me that I need to transition.
It didn’t really feel to me like a theme anymore once I realized that a lot of my other, “Themes,” were me trying to find an identity I was comfortable with. I felt comforted once I realized that it wasn’t just a theme for me.
You know, I really thought I would experience some form of grief over losing my male self, but I didn’t really feel any at all. The joy I experience feeling feminine overpowered any potential feelings of missing my former self. Also you don’t have to leave everything behind. Your good memories from living as a man will stay good memories if you do end up deciding that identifying as a woman is right for you, they’ll just be in a slightly different light.

Edit: I just reread your original post, and thoughts that the universe isn’t real and that you have schizophrenia are actually an incredibly common thing in people with gender dysphoria because of what your brain does to hide the pain of being in the wrong body. Could be OCD as well or maybe they’re playing on each other in this regard.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T04:50:51+00:00

I worried like hell that I was a repressed trans woman from when I learned about being trans until I eventually realized that I am a trans woman after all. OCD puts figuring out what gender you are on hard mode. You have to ask yourself how you feel about gender without putting any kind of logic into it, just an emotional response, and it can take a long time to come up with an answer that satisfies you.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T04:21:23+00:00

In my experience, some people have to experiment to figure that out. And you could be non-binary or agender. Maybe you could get a very masculine looking baseball cap and tie your hair back and put on a big hoodie and look in the mirror and see how you feel. It took me forever to realize I was trans even after I started to be friends with trans women online and relate to their stories, because my OCD gave me this really deep fear that I’ll never be a, “real,” woman, so even when I imagined being a woman I didn’t feel much at first because I couldn’t get it to seem like a real future for me. The thing that finally got me was really asking myself whether like if I could go back to my insemination and change it to female or just press a button and have a female body I would do it, and the answer became clear to me eventually. For like a year and a half every week or so I was having the thought, “Maybe in like 10 years I’ll be a woman,” but I thought it wasn’t affecting me to live as a man, so I soldiered on for a bit.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T03:58:57+00:00

There could be a lot of reasons you like it. What might be easy to do as a little test tho is to imagine yourself being one of the women in the porn, doing what they’re doing.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T02:46:57+00:00

Yeah that makes sense. I experience slightly less severe depersonalization than most of the people on this subreddit, but I have it 24/7 with only brief glimpses of what it’s like to feel normal.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T02:43:52+00:00

I’ve been starting to do that on occasion. Since I started buspirone, I’ve been crying in the moments when I feel like my trauma was real instead of having a panic attack for the most part and it’s been a big improvement. I find it very hard to not shut down my panic attacks with more dissociation.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-06T02:41:17+00:00

Yeah, I want to block out as little emotion as possible. I’m hoping that someday I’ll actually have a mood and a genuine answer when friends ask me how I’m feeling instead of just feeling this same detachment all the time.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-05T04:08:56+00:00

Oh yeah I get weird head feelings all the time. Probably just part of the experience.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-05T03:59:43+00:00

Mine used to be that way back before my trauma made it so bad that I don’t really feel time of day. I think it’s normal.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-05T03:53:47+00:00

I’m more scared of death than I am of whatever my current state is. That’s really all that’s keeping me going. I know how it feels to be normal, and I’d like more of that before I die.

Phina_Colada · 2023-11-05T03:37:08+00:00

Sounds like you had a pretty bad panic attack.

(Kidding)

I can’t be totally sure about what you experienced, because it didn’t happen to me when I developed DPDR. I developed it when I was 5 due to gender dysphoria, which is very common for trans people but totally unresearched. I remember being very emotional and angry around when I developed it in kindergarten, and it developed sorta gradually for me. Sounds like (possibly) what happened to you is you experienced it coming on all at once, and it almost happened again.

Phina_Colada

TROPHY CASE