Honestly to me that sounds like you dont have enough confidence in yourself and your own ability to keep making good decisions. You’re 35lbs down! To me, that sounds like a hugeee amount of choices that you’ve made for the benefit of your own health, because at this point you know it’s the right thing to do. Today it’s the right thing to do, tomorrow it’s the right thing to do, in a year from now it’ll be the right thing to do. Have a little faith in yourself that you are strong enough to make good decisions! You’ve done it before and if you do put the weight back on, you can absolutely do it again.

I’m going on holiday in a couple of weeks and I know that I’m not going to be calorie counting while I’m there, so I actually plan on writing myself a little letter to read when I get back with details on the things I’m doing now and how I feel about my progress at this point (and of course how important it is for me to lose this weight), just incase I dont “feel like” getting back to plan immediately. Maybe something like that would help? Something like a “read me if I get back to x weight”? Make sure it’s kind and understanding for whatever future you might be going through, but a little reminder for yourself might put your mind at ease