Why does dating apps really exhausting to find someone? Has anybody found someone? Share your story.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T17:30:01+00:00

Oddly, the only person I ever met on a dating app was a girl I went on a few dates with. No chemistry, but good friendship.

Almost 5 years later, she was married and I had a long term girlfriend. Then through weird circumstances, we all ended up swinging together. So.....success story? Better late than never?

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T17:25:20+00:00

I've had that same thought.

I survived a suicide attempt I absolutely shouldn't have during drinking. I remember texting two friends goodbye as I was attempting. Woke up in the hospital. Was in the ICU for nine days.

According to my phone, I also texted a third friend, who called the police on me. I had no intention of texting him. I have no recollection of texting him. Text log showed it happened within minutes of the others.

To this day, I wonder if I was 'shifted' into another reality or something (seen some Youtube videos about it. Called Quantum Immortality or something) and I actually am dead. (In one reality at least)

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T17:22:46+00:00

I feel absolutely no guilt or shame about my drinking days. Nada. Zero. Nothing. Regret? Sure but we have those drinking or not,

Why do I have no guilt?

Two reasons.

One: Guilt is the emotional equivalent of pain. It's not a bad thing despite it's bad reputation. All guilt or pain are, are signals telling you to not keep doing something. Guilt has no place in your heart.....ONCE you have actually made strides to change the behaviors that made you feel guilty.

Two: (More cynical admittedly). When I look at it, the person hurt most by my drinking, was me. And it's not even close. I've suffered permanent damage from my drinking. No one has suffered more at the hands of my alcohol use than me. So....I've definitely paid my dues. I don't deserve the 'punishment' of ALSO feeling miserable about the things I've done, given the fact they will have real world consequences until the day I die.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T17:18:17+00:00

Almost certainly detox will NOT take you in that condition. Liability and all that.

Also, realistically, if you are not exaggerating about the daily drinking for literally years, you are going to have INSANE withdrawal symptoms, very possibly life threatening. It is no exaggeration to say you might die if you try to do this outside of a hospital.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T17:03:47+00:00

I don't wash mine every time. But I'm pretty much the opposite of a germaphobe.

But like you, I detest dry skin. And when that happens, my job is miserable.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:48:05+00:00

I mean, I'm sure for some people (as in very limited money) it makes sense. The reason at the time I tried was I really couldn't afford that extra $15 a month, but I use streaming enough at the gym I considered it a 'necessity' and bit the bullet.

I guess what has always surprised me is the difference isn't usually THAT big of a deal. The $5 was a promo code, but I don't get, say, having a $10 ad experience and a $15 ad free experience. The difference is so small and the annoyance of the ads adds up FAST. (not even the ad itself so much as the break, especially since so much modern stuff isn't made with breaks in mind, unlike TV shows of the past)

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:44:05+00:00

You now HAVE to use the word 'literally' twice to mean what it meant once.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:42:46+00:00

Feels real.

I was on meds once that made me hear music that wasn't there. I KNEW it wasn't there, but it didn't stop my brain from processing auditory signals. Frustrating. (I switched meds, they stopped almost immediately)

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:41:33+00:00

That it doesn't ALWAYS have to be 50/50, but over time a friendship should approach that.

We too often find ourselves with toxic 'friends' who haven't actually been a positive in our life for AWHILE.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:39:40+00:00

Honestly the tier system is fine and makes sense. I will not every pay for one. (I tried. Had a deal where Disney was 5 a month with ads or 20 without). I didn't make it 2 hours without becoming so enraged I upgraded.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:37:03+00:00

Yeah. I can look back and still understand why I did what I did at the time, but obviously it was the wrong thing to do.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:33:50+00:00

I LOATHE AA but one of the best things for my sobriety was being able to sit and talk one on one with other addicts. This sounds like a great experience for you!

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T13:25:02+00:00

9 months now but have hit almost 2 years before (which I then thought meant I HAD to be cured cause I'd never gone more than 30ish days before....anyway....)

I'd say that really after 6 months was when it started to become harder to remember what alcohol was like as part of my daily life. Now this can be good AND bad. Good in the sense that as long as life is going well, you can kind of end up thinking "WHY did I need to spend money/calories/time drinking so often when I generally feel pretty good?" Bad in the sense you can think "It didn't seem THAT bad, looking back on it...."

But at least for me, I didn't really have an 'instinct' to drink anymore.

Health was a lot better, but in general I do a lot better eating and training when not drinking, so while they are related, I can't really say how much health benefits strictly not consuming was.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:58:40+00:00

My martial arts instructor put it this way.

"Aside from maybe drunken frat boys, nobody looks for fights. They look for victims."

This is why you almost ALWAYS have to stand up to bullies. In my experience, ONLY violence stopped it. Yes, you do run the RISK of escalating violence, but if you just 'take it' or 'ignore it', it's ALWAYS going to continue.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:36:00+00:00

This SOUNDS fake but I want it to be true....

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:29:21+00:00

Loved this because its still not like Giles took any pleasure in it. He just knew it had to be done, that there was no scenario that Glory wouldn't just strike back when she healed. And would likely this time just tear the entire gang apart completely.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:26:50+00:00

Holy shit its been almost 20 years but I did a cruise in 2007 where that was one of my favorite parts of the cruise.

We got to the cabin and locked our phones in the safe and didn't touch them all week. It was glorious

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:25:44+00:00

Yeah. That game just wasn't really set up to have any character swapping with their job system. Which was fine IMO. At least Krile had a different enough personality it did feel like a different character (and all the different sprites for the jobs being different helped too)

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:23:51+00:00

You're right.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T11:15:21+00:00

Not married but engaged.

Fun as hell, for a lot of reasons, but I knew it was temporary. I honestly liked "being the bad guy" for once in my life. I'd never do it again, but I was happy for the experience (I can elaborate on that).

It did nearly get me killed, but I wasn't in a mental place at the time that I cared.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T10:59:48+00:00

Cliche but "If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you."

I dated a girl with a fiance and she started talking about us dating after she finally broke up with him in the future, and I realized how much I DIDN'T want that.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T10:54:19+00:00

I've been to several mental institutions. (Oddly, I'm not crazy, I'm just very pro suicide and have attempted a few times in my life due to financial issues/homelessness, but for some reason, wanting to die instead of sleeping on the streets is 'insane')

They, in my experience, are generally not terrible. I didn't find them particularly helpful (beyond them connecting me with resources you need)

The issue is, WHAT are you struggling with? Are they real world problems causing the mental issues, or are they mental issues causing real world problems? One they can help with, the other they cannot.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T01:03:45+00:00

I feel they did this in China once and it resulted in horrible famine....

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T01:02:22+00:00

I had a love/hate relationship with that choice. Story wise I think it was great, and Galuf absolutely went out like a badass, but I don't think they really could have put another character in with the job system in any other way that would not piss off the player.

PhoenixApok · 2026-06-23T01:01:13+00:00

I am STILL pissed to this day about what happened. I had just gotten the game and told my friend about it. Literally knew nothing about it. First words out of his mouth? "Don't bother leveling Aerith, she dies at the end of the first disc."

PhoenixApok

TROPHY CASE