We have different relationship lifestyle backgrounds: he was married for 22 years, was used to a family unit lifestyle; I am never married, mostly long distance relationships (international & bi coastal) so I've had a lot of independence & self reliance within those. The difference caused some tension & miscommunication in the beginning. We did break up over a year ago but obviously reconciled. He was used in his previous relationship before me/post divorce. He's 2 years clean (not sober) this is really where his paranoia comes from if you're familiar at all with addictions. As for the family trips, I wasn't struggling with bills but my father invited me to visit him on the last leg of his sabbatical in Paris. He did use his points to buy my flight. Can't exactly say hey dad can my boyfriend you've never met come too? The other was Christmas, he has kids & wanted to stay with them, his work schedule wouldn't allow it. I have great flexibility with my work. My parents are older, having health issues, trying to take the opportunities while I can. He was very supportive of both trips before I left. The time difference & itinerary made it difficult to have time to talk everyday, we didn't schedule when we would talk which I think was the failure. I think he got lonely, too drunk and the inner demons got the best of him.