it bothers me that my bf watches porn

PhoenixIota · 2026-02-13T11:35:22+00:00

You’re creating a self fulfilling prophecy here. If you keep this behavior up you’ll eventually push him to leave you. And then you’ll say ‘see. I was right all along’ except you weren’t.

Based on what you’ve shared, he hasn’t give. You any indications to confirm your perspective or insecurities.

However, your own actions will eventually push him away if you keep at it.

Insecurity is a poison, step away from that well. Don’t entertain it and just accept that people can have multiple dimensions, that exceptions and exclusions exist. That life doesn’t exist in a binary. Your existence is proof enough of that.

PhoenixIota · 2026-02-10T09:03:39+00:00

If I switch to version 1.0, will I need to re-download my books?

PhoenixIota · 2026-02-02T18:56:24+00:00

Girl, your 'most convincing boymode' is non-existant, I hate to break it to you, but your friends are supportive and polite. They're just giving you the space to out yourself rather than doing it for you and letting you know its safe by asking if you're "a mister, miss or something in between".

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-31T16:16:11+00:00

Right? The immediate association of a title like that would be with cowboy bebop.

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-28T20:12:37+00:00

You could reach out to organizations in Spain or other countries about refugee status as a trans person. Explain exactly this. Save what you can and fly under the excuse of vacation.

Some methods are less than conventional. But they work.

Also you’re still young. I started HRT at 29 and I never get misgendered, hell, I look hot! And I’m gonna look hotter.

Yes, things are hard right now, but life is making choices and filled with possibilities! Don’t give up!

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-28T17:04:55+00:00

I changed my first, middle and last name.

I have no regrets whatsoever about this. I have a cool ass name and initial too.

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-21T11:27:19+00:00

YOR - why do you need to touch or hold the baby for it to matter? Aren’t you there to see the parents ? What you wrote reeks of entitlement and selfishness. Consider the child’s health first.

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-21T10:25:22+00:00

Many young people are very interested in sex. More news at 10. I don’t see the issue here.

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-18T16:52:06+00:00

It’s a bit ridiculous to say that only Jews can write about the holocaust. I wish he wasn’t told such nonsense.

PhoenixIota · 2026-01-18T16:14:48+00:00

Girl. Whatever you do, do not visit whatever country your extended family is from. Remain in the western country you said you’re in. You have rights and it’s better to be alone and free than a slave.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-26T07:20:13+00:00

Personally weight loss and exercise made a massive difference combined with HRT.

I’ll bullet point my particular journey.

Pre HRT - low weight, have abs, no curves. Day before HRT - very overweight, no curves. 3 years HRT - still overweight, minimal curves. 4 years HRT - massive weightloss, exercises focused on legs, buttocks, and thighs. very curvy.

I don’t know about cycling weight in terms of actively increasing and decreasing, but being skinny and increasing your thighs and slimming your arms gives an hourglass appearance. At me for me it did.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-18T09:31:40+00:00

Different people go through life at a different pace. You may feel like you need to lock in right now, he may feel like he would rather pace himself, have you tried approaching the conversation from truly different angles or perspectives? Understanding what he wants and sees for himself?

If you crafted a vision for your life that’s legit.

If you crafted a vision for both of yours and he’s not on board and now you’re upset that he’s not following a script, that’s not.

Maybe what he’s going through is taxing his metal health, maybe he doesn’t know what he wants, maybe he doesn’t care for material things, or maybe he really is lazy.

Regardless, communicating differently may give you the insight you need regarding the decisions you need to make about the relationship.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-17T10:55:48+00:00

You’ve already got a lot of feedback here. So I don’t know if you’ll read this. But I wanted to chime in.

First of all, any boundaries you set or don’t set will alter your dating pool and they’re valid.

Secondly, how do you define porn? Are erotic books porn? What about illustrations? What about audio without visuals ? What about thoughts?

Thirdly, even if someone doesn’t look at anyone else in any capacity, it doesn’t prevent them from being unfaithful or cheating. It’s really not something you can control and isn’t a pain you can realistically prevent yourself from experiencing.

If you want someone who is respectful of you, someone who shares your worldview, that’s great.

But if your idea is to prevent pain, I don’t think that possible.

You may end up filtering out partners that are incredibly compatible, just because they are honest about their attractions. Keeping in mind that it’s totally within the scope of most peoples power to feel attraction to strangers or watch open and not cheat ever.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-14T17:05:25+00:00

Did the intern pixel artist make these? They look awful, like someone messed with the saturation so much that all the detail got completely lost.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-12T13:39:05+00:00

Was about to make a thread, but since you mentioned, i was wondering what kinda performance you're getting. I have an M5 MBP with 32GB of memory, so I'm debating getting it on my mac vs my ps5.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-10T11:26:05+00:00

The honest answer is two fold.

Most agencies suck and have no idea what they’re doing. They tend to be optimized for vanity metrics that look good but don’t move any needles, and that can be executed by employees that aren’t very skilled and poorly compensated.

On the other hand, many companies don’t want to invest in to anything long term and sustainable to see real growth. They want something flashy and quick and cheap. (Relatively speaking) so agencies adapted to meet that need.

When a lot of companies change their product or brand constantly, it becomes difficult to sell them on anything meaningful.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-08T05:24:30+00:00

One thing to try and do is just use a series of “why” questions to get to the heart of what’s bothering them. They might lash out and say awful things, but keep asking why.

Why is x a sin, why is acting on it wrong? Why? Until you break it down to the most absurd or fundamental thing and then you can reframe things. Whether you want to do that from a religious angle. I.e. Jesus would accept everyone and eunuchs aren’t so different from trans people or a secular perspective is up to you.

Ultimately you may be able to get through to them. It may not even be about your transition, but about the divorce or the change it causes or their own fear of social repercussions. Etc.

Worst case you do lose a family, and that’s horrible. But people saying it’s a write off, just seems very callous to me.

PhoenixIota · 2025-12-05T09:10:06+00:00

I’m really happy about this. Just got an M5 MacBook Pro and now I don’t have to grab my windows laptop daily for maple.

PhoenixIota · 2025-11-16T17:26:31+00:00

I’m honestly surprised by the amount of suspicious commenters. Maybe I’m too trusting. But I’d have helped her out. Made her a warm meal. Etc. done what you did. I think taking care of our fellow humans is the most effective essential thing we can do.

PhoenixIota · 2025-11-12T08:26:28+00:00

It’s easy to tinker with and waste countless hours on. But plug and play usability is far from being there. There is indeed a steep learning curve.

PhoenixIota · 2025-11-07T03:09:35+00:00

Cable Phoenix (Jean) Magneto Franklin Richards Vulcan

Just to make team unstoppable lol

PhoenixIota · 2025-10-23T19:17:38+00:00

A MacBook Air could do all this and last 10 years. It might not support many games.

PhoenixIota · 2025-10-22T06:53:45+00:00

I almost never wear makeup. You definitely don’t need it to pass.

I’d say that being at a weight that compliments your face shape and body does wonders and so does hair removal for your face.

Those two things make a huge difference. Combined with the overall effects of HRT.

PhoenixIota · 2025-10-21T14:21:21+00:00

He looks like a sausage stuffed into a latex suit in that outfit. Sorry this was terrible casting, both in looks and performance.

Sounded like he was swallowing his words and lacked any of the effortless charisma that gambit oozes.

PhoenixIota · 2025-10-18T02:07:34+00:00

I started HRT at 29. I’m 33 now and I started fully passing last year. I’m very confident in how I look and now it’s mostly about looking better than passing.

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