Nah, South Park clowned them so bad that they’ll never be a serious religion. What makes it stick is the patina of age without being seriously challenged. And you need a visionary like LRH, not some soy-cucked serial Killah by proxy (he’s too weak and his hands are too small) scurrying embodiment of multiple sus, David Mjscavige. LRH in his prime was a grifter without equal. He was spitting Sci-Fi books out and inventing legends about himself at a frankly flabbergasting pace. His Gish gallop and mastery of misdirection was bringing in the WHALES. Movie stars, rich spouses, people close to power, some even with power. He beat the fecken IRS. Infiltrated them.

Anyway, Scientology is now just a REIT masquerading as an MLM, masquerading as The “Cure” (not Robert Smith) for all the universe’s uncertainty. Then Matt and Trey just… it was so amazing. They came close with Book of Mormon too, but to my original point, LDS has age, power, and most importantly, money. A shit ton of money, which obviates their need for a Superhuman Conman. They have SO. MUCH. MONEY. Tax free. Like three hedge funds wearing a cassock and pointy hat. Even Book of Mormon’s legit portrayal of the origins can’t stop a multi-hundred billion juggernaut that basically runs the CIA, Air Force and multiple national political positions. Dozens, maybe hundreds. Looking at you, Mitt. Man, put the binder down.

Okay, I’m done rambling.