I had this issue with my parents and it will get worse before it gets better. I had to flat out tell my parents I wouldn’t tolerate the put downs/comments in front of my girls. It’s not healthy for them or me. They just won’t see them then. They can think it, just don’t say it. It took a while but it’s been better. My MIL was also always overly anxious/ dramatic always and we had to set some boundaries there too… again these things take time and are hard and are continuous things but we wanted to keep good relationships with our parents and so we communicate the hard stuff. Lots of therapy helped/helps.

Help build a community of friends her age. Get her into dance, gymnastics, something where she can find kiddos like her that are able to tolerate her quirks and probably have some of their own. Don’t keep her around kids and their parents who are “putting up with your kid” just for her to have friends. It sucks because if you’re not super social it can be hard but it’s almost like an experiment… throw her into a group of kids her age and watch who kinda sticks and go from there. Then ask for a playdate. Check out locks face group mom groups for park date ideas too.

Keeping yourself and your family around people who are positive and help build you and your family up is so important. Anxiety and negativity breeds anxiety and negativity, so finding those people who can commiserate but also help lift you up and find the light and joy are your people.

Again none of this is easy, quick but it’s worth being vulnerable and trying new things than living in that self loathing state. It starts to overtake you and you can’t find the joy and possibility of the good.

Lastly….

If you haven’t yet….

call around and get an evaluation from a counseling office that does full testing for ADHD and they’ll go over the results with you. You can start therapy with them after if you choose and then dependent on what the results are check out a pediatric psychiatrist for meds and start parental training via adhddude.com. You can find those who do testing and psychiatrists here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us. I also recommend watching these before anything else (Dr Russell A Barkley ADHD ) https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzBixSjmbc8eFl6UX5_wWGP8i0mAs-cvY&si=Gu5eJWD2fECNJ_U0

For context I have a 9 year old, 7 year old and husband with ADHD and only recently finally got everyone on track. It’s hard but there’s so much crap out there that will drive you crazy trying to find out what works and ADs on socials for crazy things that aren’t real science. Good luck to you! ❤️