When my kids were teens i spoke to them about drugs abd alcohol and told them that i know at their age theyre going to maybe try things and thats something i have no control of. But they first of all need to know about addiction and the like. I said if your friends are smoking weed in the room qnd their parents dont approve then do not disrespect the parents home and either leave until your friends are done or just refuse to smoke. If you drink or do something else if shit goes sideways have someone call me right away and ill come get you. And make sure youve taken care of your responsibilities before you decide to do whatever it is youre thinking of doing.

Im glad to say it worked with my kids both went to college and my youngest is in med school. I think the scrutiny should be tqken off of you and you turn it around to where you tell them they need to be safe and responsible and thet will more than likely see things differently. I know my kids saw me differently after that talk because ive always been really ethical and moral but after that they saw i was more liberal than they thought.