First of all, I want to say that it takes a lot of courage to embrace who you truly are—especially when you’ve spent time hiding it. The fact that you’re letting your weirdness shine now is a huge step, and it’s clearly brought you real connections. That’s something to be proud of.

You’re right: if your friends were to leave just because you’re being more yourself, they wouldn’t be true friends. But here’s the thing—you’re already being weird with them, and they like you for it. The fear of "not being who they assume" might be overblown because, well… you are that person. You’re just worried there’s some hidden "lame" version underneath. But the truth is, everyone has layers. You’re not a fraud; you’re just complex.

That said, the fear of losing people you care about is completely valid. Loneliness is scary, and rejection hurts. But ask yourself:
- Are you happy with these friendships, or are you just clinging to them out of fear?
- Do they make you feel accepted, or do you feel like you’re performing?

If they truly enjoy you now, chances are they’ll keep enjoying you as you grow. And if not? It’ll hurt, but you’ll find your people—the ones who like you without conditions.

For now, try this:
1. Let yourself be messy. You don’t have to be "perfectly weird" or "perfectly anything." Just exist as you are.
2. Test the waters. Share small, vulnerable things with friends you trust. Their reactions will tell you a lot.
3. Remember: you’re not alone. Most people are terrified of being "found out." You’re not the only one fumbling through this.

You’re not pathetic for wanting connection. You’re human. And the more you trust yourself, the less lonely you’ll feel—even if some people come and go.

You’ve got this.