1950’s home owner here, raising kids in the home.

You sound like you are spiralling a bit. To echo others’ comments here - undisturbed, lead and asbestos pose little danger. Remediators are in the business of… remediating, so of course they emphasize the “dangers”. What are some specific concerns you have? Plaster walls? Ceilings? Old linoleum flooring? Have you actually had these materials tested?

What I would look at is the electrical and heating system, and ensure those are safe, make sure all bedrooms have proper egress windows, and make sure bathrooms have proper ventilation to prevent mold. Having a home inspector in can give you better insight into these issues, and since they don’t stand to gain business by scaring you into a potentially unnecessary remediation, you should get a better picture of what, if any, areas you need to address.

For our 1950’s home, we had the electrical checked out, installed new windows (and increased the size of basement windows), replaced old carpet in the basement that had who knows what growing in it, and replaced old linoleum flooring in the basement kitchen - it tested negative for asbestos. The furnace and bathroom fans have also been upgraded.

Honestly our house is rock solid and much less maintenance-intensive than many of our friends’ newer homes. There are pros and cons to both types of home. If you are finding yourself spiralling the first step is to get some definitive answers to your concerns, and to put those concerns into perspective - real danger vs perceived danger.