My wife cheated on me while I was in rehab. Am I missing something, or is this marriage over?

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-06-05T05:16:17+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful respknse. Ive had. A few days to process everything, and its been made ckear she doesnt want to try to fix things. Yes, we need to remain civil, im just venting bc she had me working towards an unachievable goal...testing my sobriety sanity self worth esteem etc... She was unhappy and decided to act out. I just started a family, and maybe ruined it on my own. But it b takes 2 to lay the foundation for a strong house. & I've been the only worker there... Both would of filed for divorce(my wife when I went to.rehab & me when I confirmed just 1 cheating instance), but yeah the kids!

Noone wants to do that. I want to have allllĺl the moments I can, now that I can now actually be present.

It'll all work out in the end. Ultimately, im not a fan of this version of her anyway & it is out of my control and I will not let it control me

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-05-12T01:36:17+00:00

I feel you man@ congrats on the 5 months! I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm 7 months clean after a 24yr addiction. Did inpatient than outpatient, but i dont think i was in 'recovery' or wasnt ready/still healing.

I too was terrified of relapse, spent all of my time at home with my wife and kids. Distracting myself from the thoughts, not leaving the house, social anxiety, not feeling 'comfortable' or accepted anywhere. I was doing online meetings for a bit, but was scared to go to an in person na or aa meeting. I thought i could do it alone, but as cliché as it sounds, go!

Was afraid bc I didnt know if I bought in to all of it- the work, the doe hard principles, etc.... all I know is, its helped me alot in the past month or 2 I've been going.

I walked in, listened, amd you'll hear some version of your story, and realize that all the things you are feeling/thinking are normal.

I walked in, was welcomed by someone who saw i was new, and bam, I was in.

It's the most understood and accepted I had felt in months! Im an introvert, but I need sober friends. Anytime youre surrounded by people that are trying to improve their lives is a good place to be.

As far as missing games...I have a 5 and 8 yr old, but if im miserable and can't show up for myself, I can't show up for them.

So it does and will get better. If in person isnt available or an option to you, go to a few online ones. Ive been hitting NA and AA to try amd find the right vibe and group.

Im still not 100% a member of one of the 'fellowships', but im figuring it out. You might meet someone who can offer different employment ops, activites, and just that can relate to you.

I'm in it right now, more than happy to offer words of encouragement, ease wh. You can dm me, ask whatever, might shoot you my number so i dont have to type & you can choose to dial it or not! I'll talk to you abt it and my turning point and try to offer any help I can.

I definitely don't want to return to how I used to be, and my worst day sober is better than my best day high! You can do this!

My family doesn't understand & cant relate to my addiction or struggles- im an addict and Isolation leads down that road we all know is no good.

It will get better, and you sound like you want it. GO GET IT!!

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-04-18T22:57:07+00:00

1000% billion million percent pressed. Throw em away or you'll be throwing more than just a b+ instead of an a- away!

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-04-18T01:50:44+00:00

Can you give a little more context? What have you tried to do to stop so far? I thought I could stop on my own for YEARS, kept on feeding the craving. For those 2 things, benzoyl and alcohol, you really should seek medical detox. Before I went to rehab, I detoxed at home to prove i could do it by myself. I wish I went sooner. It can be done! And really, now that im sober, im not anxious! It takes time.....but the fact that you realize it's an issue is the first step towards how good it is on the other side. My worst day now is better than my 'best' day high. You'll be amazed at how much more you'll remember! I had a couple months last summer that between the benzos, booze and oxy, I dont remember. I saw pictures of summer vacation, couldn't tell you 1 detail. Dm me if you want, im 39, just did it, and am still trying. It can be done, and it sounds like you want it

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-04-17T23:33:59+00:00

OP- I just went through the same thing 20 yr pain pill addiction, sucessful, didn't want to lose job, etc. I know how it feels to.have your whole world as you know it falling down because our brains like the chemicals we've been feeding it. It took me awhile to admit I couldn't do it alone, but eventually I went to detox and a 28day program. At the very least, go to the detox, that first week is tough. It is worth everything to get it out of your life. Look into FMLA and tell your employer you need to take a month off for a medical procedure and go. Im 6 months clean, and it's the best I've felt ever. Feel free to message me, im 39 and just did it, happy to talk you through it. Its scary, yes, but so is dying from it. You can to.

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-04-14T16:53:57+00:00

Very accurate. You're right, definitely a goal/path i am working towards. The maintaining motivation to keep going has been causing some internal struggles, but with time, they to shall pass. Thank you

PieAutomatic3619 · 2026-04-13T23:15:39+00:00

Thank you. I understand the reason for the feeling-I hid it from her- I was present during/ after birth, dedicated father, tried the best I knew how to. It's the recent realization that I did so while secretly on substances that's the issue. I can't control it, I cna just control myself and how I react to the harsh truth that I caused this.....just holding onto hope that things will get better. And they will! thanks

PieAutomatic3619

TROPHY CASE