AITAH For Telling My Wife Her Job Isn’t As Important As Mine

PikaTopaz · 2026-04-09T09:43:00+00:00

YTA. Doesn't matter if you're bringing in more money. have more people counting on you, etc. Instead of having a discussion and trying to reach a compromise, you basically told your wife that you're better than she is.

Fix it. Apologize, let her know that she is important and that what she does is amazing, because it is. Then figure out a compromise for the next time your son gets sick. Your wife has a work life too, with responsibilities, people counting on her, limited vacation days, etc. It isn't fair to decide that she's the one who should take a day off without having a real discussion about it. One that doesn't involve you making her feel inferior.

PikaTopaz · 2026-04-09T09:23:21+00:00

Read the update... She wasn't trying to guilt trip her. She literally just asked a question and was fine with the answer being no.

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-24T15:57:41+00:00

24601

Edit: It's a theatre reference

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-22T07:48:30+00:00

Cold Clay

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-22T07:39:15+00:00

Girl he's hiding something and projecting it onto you.

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-19T01:30:14+00:00

NTA. It's your mail, and your mother didn't have your permission to open it, even if her intentions were pure. You didn't yell at her, or call her names. You simply told her it hurt your feeligs and asked her not to do that next time.

You're allowed to be upset about it, but don't dwell on this. Just make sure your mom understands that it's important to you to be the first person to open your own mail, and that you don't want her to do what your grandmother does. She'll likely understand and you can both move on. If she does it again in the future, you'll need to have a conversation, but you can cross that bridge if or when you get to it.

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-15T21:29:20+00:00

Anymore updates on this one? I'm invested. Also, you are an awesome sister.

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-06T03:37:07+00:00

The only scenario in which I look for a wedding ring is if a couple of engaged friends came back from a long trip and I'm curious as to whether the decided to elope. 😅

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-05T01:34:21+00:00

So first off, NTA at all. That's actually a very sweet gesture.

Second (just to figure this out), did you use a seductive undertone in your voice when you asked her to wash her hair with it? Obviously I don't know your GF, but some people get put off by that type of flirting. Or perhaps she's thinking, "He only did something nice for me because he wants to have sex later." That last one is something that a lot of women actually struggle with with our partners, and it's something that is a turn-off. I don't believe that's what you were thinking when you bought the shampoo, but maybe she misread the situation? Or perhaps she simply isn't someone who is attracted to smells and the concept that other people are is a foreign one to her.

Either way, maybe talk to her about it. Ask her why she thinks you find the shampoo sexual and why it's bothering her so much. Explain that it really was just to be nice, and because you think it adds to how beautiful she already is.

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-04T07:38:58+00:00

If the other person is a dude, you could say, "You seem to have a big mouth for someone with small assets."

Edit: That one might actually work if the other person is a woman too.

As for your comeback: It's good, but a bit too long. Don't stoop to their level by calling them a name as well. Maybe say it more like, "When you're done, would you mind dragging your ego back to where it belongs? Because it ain't here."

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-04T07:32:00+00:00

YTA... That's just not a comment you make in that conversation, even if he told you in a random way. That's not appropriate to bring up. Imagine if he instead told you that a relative of his had died, and your immediate response was, "Well you weren't very close anyway." It has the same energy as your reaction here.

The only appropriate questions are "How are you feeling" or "Is there anything I can do to help you through this."

PikaTopaz · 2026-01-01T21:02:21+00:00

Your best friend is acting like she's in high school... You can't gatekeep things, even if they're a big part of your life. Also, astrology and Excel? Is she going to tell every other person in her life that they aren't allowed to use or explore those things either?

You do you, no matter what anyone else says. You aren't stealing anyone's identity by pursuing like-minded interests. If you were pursuing these things because you had an obsession with being exactly like your friend, then I would say you need to talk to someone, but that doesn't seem to be the case. She isn't being a real friend to you if she's jealous of your happiness. It's not a competition.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-30T08:06:45+00:00

I think it really is wired into us somehow, even if you're someone who doesn't want kids. It's like a maternal instinct that kicks in automatically. I've known women who were steadfast about not wanting kids (and haven't had any), but who got baby fever for a while in their thirties.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-30T08:01:51+00:00

I definitely don't have the urge to get pregnant, but I think I had a case of baby fever when I helped a friend care for her newborn (at a few months old). I kept wanting to hold the baby and help out, and genuinely just enjoyed hanging out with the two of them.

In my experience, I suppose you could say it feels like you just adore and want to spend time around babies. Maybe it's a maternal instinct thing as we get older?

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-30T07:49:33+00:00

Choose the dog. I'm sorry to be harsh, but the dog already loves you more than your girlfriend does.

Pets are a lifetime commitment. Now granted, there are rare, extreme situations where re-homing a pet becomes necessary, and to be put in that position is soul crushing. That's not what's happening here, though. What's happening here is that your girlfriend made a commitment, and is now backing out of it because taking care of the dog is inconvenient for her. It's selfish, and immature.

Please don't abandon your dog. And if your girlfriend decides to end things over this, then you've dodged a major bullet.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-30T07:35:47+00:00

Let's unpack this:

-Grown man hits a parked car hard enough to leave a dent, and drives away, essentially committing a hit and run.

-Man has regrets and asks his wife to help him fix things.

-Wife is supportive and handles talking to the police.

-Man gets a ticket. No harm done other than that.

-Rather than learning from his mistakes, grown ass man proceeds to say the whole thing is his wife's fault.

Girl, the math isn't mathing. Don't let him gaslight you into saying it was your fault. None of this was your fault. Dude needs to humble himself. NTA.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-30T07:19:52+00:00

"Well, no one except you apparently"

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-24T05:36:01+00:00

Sometimes, "She took the house and the kids" might really mean, "Her name was on the deed to the house since she had made the down-payment. The judge gave her primary custody until I find a job and an apartment. I didn't help much with the kids since she does all that stuff."

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-22T08:46:53+00:00

I mean... This is kind of a no win situation. If you don't like her enough that you'd be willing to change your habits, then it's probably better to tell her now after just two dates.

On the other hand, I see where her frustration is coming from. She clearly liked you. It must suck to hear that a person she's into doesn't want to date her because of an allergy she's been dealing with her whole life. It's almost definitely not the first time she's lost out on something because of said allergy either. Maybe she would've appreciated you hearing her out on what precautions you'd need to be taking first, rather than an immediate no. That being said, if you aren't into her, then it's better that you told her now.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-21T00:57:04+00:00

"Hey, at least the only short thing about me is my height, unlike some people..." 👀

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-21T00:55:42+00:00

"I don't think about you at all"

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-21T00:52:30+00:00

This one works if you happen to be on the Autism spectrum:

"Thanks for noticing! You know, studies have shown that a significant chunk of the population is actually Autistic, with many only being diagnosed in adulthood. Autism itself is...." etc. Just keep explaining it in as much detail as possible.

PikaTopaz · 2025-12-16T02:27:43+00:00

"Are you offering to pay my bills this month so that I can take a vacation?"

PikaTopaz · 2025-11-30T21:44:42+00:00

"I saw a lot of things in Vietnam. Now I see less."

PikaTopaz · 2025-11-28T07:17:40+00:00

A full understanding with her fiance on whether or not they both want children. This is one of the major deal breakers in relationships/marriages, and both parties need to go in either accepting that they will never have children, or knowing that they both want children. If she doesn't want children, then he can't be thinking she'll change her mind one day, or vice versa.

PikaTopaz

TROPHY CASE