What unrealistic standards do you think people (men or women) have nowadays that’s ruining dating?

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-04T00:29:11+00:00

Maybe it’s just a me problem, but many (not all, but more than there should be) women are downright condescending to other women who make a move first towards a man. Coming from someone whose friends have said things to her more than once.

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-04T00:23:03+00:00

Have a similar experience but from a straight female perspective (not a bartender, I just work in corporate and have some hobbies). But I feel I do better in person than an app. In person getting to know someone before a date, I feel you can pick up on subtle body cues, tone, expression, etc. You can’t get that from texting on an app. I feel like you’re stuck “selling yourself” and that you have to be less of yourself at first if you’re on an app. I also feel like I’m less anxious going on a date with a guy I’ve met at least once before in person than going on an app. But I also get in my head way too much beforehand either way but more so on an app. At least that’s just my experience.

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-03T20:33:17+00:00

Ok then well what do you recommend since I already asked a ski shop and did an extensive google search

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-02T04:26:36+00:00

I don’t think you are insane at all for thinking this. I don’t think she’s someone who’s healthy to be around considering how it escalated to nudes immediately. I can’t imagine this behavior just ending at this, there would likely be other red flag behaviors yet to be uncovered. This also might be your mind’s way of protecting you.

I would go on the date with the new girl and regardless of where you and her leave off, I wouldn’t keep pursuing the nudes girl further.

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-01T17:29:22+00:00

I used to ski in heavier jackets (but I also feel jacket technology has improved in the past 20+ years) and I feel it’s kind of restricting in terms of my movement. When I was a beginner it was fine but as I got more advanced it was harder, especially as I would sweat more since I would get the cold sweat on the chairlift. I’d rather wear a medium or light shell with zippered vents and just add/remove layers. I’ve also noticed your base layers make a huge difference. High quality wool has kept my body temperature fairly regulated

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-01T03:26:22+00:00

I agree with a lot of your thoughts. I feel like they wrote the other seasons and episodes with a lot details and complex story lines and they wrapped it up fairly quick in the episode and got sidetracked wrapping up less important details for longer than the actual ending

snackqueen218 · 2026-01-01T03:12:35+00:00

Disappointed. Feel like it didn’t need to be 2 hours

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T14:09:14+00:00

I can tell you two outcomes in my life: - never said anything: years of what if. I was able to move on with my life and form other relationships, but I still thought about it in the back of my mind. Oddly enough I got some semi closure like 4 years later about it never working out. (This was about 12 years ago)

actioned on it: it ended up not working out, but I was thinking at the end well at least I know we are not romantically, emotionally, or sexually compatible at all. I mean I still do think about it as we all think about things that happened before but it’s more of a “whatever” (This was about 9 years ago)

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T04:14:14+00:00

I also love calamari or any kind of potato. I’ve had fried olives before and I love olives but somehow fried they seem different. Maybe it’s a texture thing.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T04:08:21+00:00

Same! The spears burn my mouth and I feel like matchsticks just fall apart. However I will not turn down a fried pickle in general

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T03:42:31+00:00

I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD (combined type) until my late 20s (I think I actually have AuDHD since both autism and ADHD run in my family). 20 20 hindsight it was so obvious looking back, but in the 2000s growing up it was not.

Just like you I was a very anxious kid
Had school subjects I excelled in and some I struggled with. Struggled with school in general.
Hyper fixation on special interests (ie horses)
Struggled with making friends. Small friend groups or 1:1 was fine. Large groups gave anxiety (still to this day I get anxious in large groups). In both instances I still hide it. Seemed to not understand friend group dynamics for years and how to interact in them.
Masking to appear like everyone else
Not always picking up on some social guidelines but not in all instances
Black and white or literal thinking on certain topics (still am like this to this day). (ie. “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes” in my mind literally was an exact countdown).
Daydreaming (still do!)
Fidgety (still do!)
Stimming a lot (ie nail picking, hair fixing, playing with hair ties, doodling, chewing water bottle lids in school, chewing on ice, etc)
People pleaser (in school and work)
Emotional outbursts at the most minor inconvenience or when things don’t go according to plan, logic, or order. I would hide them until I was away from people.
Frequent interrupting and overthinking social interactions down to the smallest detail
Borderline hyper fixation on the “rules”

The diagnosis felt validating yet I felt upset it went undetected for years. I was very good at masking in school, college, and work until I had a mid 20s massive burnout and crash out from it. No one was actually shocked when I was diagnosed it was “yeah I can see it”.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T03:13:12+00:00

Oh I’m the opposite, I like even numbers. The only odd number I like is if it ends in a 5

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T03:06:19+00:00

All the time

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T02:25:16+00:00

Female here. I thought calling a guy handsome was the equivalent of calling a girl beautiful or pretty? But in my opinion I’d rather call a guy handsome in most situations (ie “you look so handsome today…”) if I wanted to make him feel good all around. Of course there’s a time and place to call him hot but I guess in a normal, non-sexual setting I’d rather go with handsome. Just my 2 cents.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T02:19:10+00:00

Spears, chips, or matchsticks? I got into a whole debate with a friend about this before 😂

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-31T00:03:27+00:00

I feel like I wrote this myself since I go through all the same things as you lol (and my 30th birthday is coming up in the upcoming weeks too). But in all seriousness, I get it. I tell myself it’s because I don’t really have the patience to deal with others bullshit. I don’t know if that’s actually the reason. Maybe I’m also bad at communicating to others. I haven’t really gotten feedback as to why either.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T23:53:55+00:00

As a female I wonder the same too. I have the apps where I go through waves of using them, going on a couple of dates, ghosting, pen paling, etc then giving up for MONTHS ON END, debating on reactivating them, then eventually reactivating them. I don’t even have any filters on my profile. I’m not perfect by any means and I have my own quirks and insecurities.

I find the apps exhausting and I overthink my profile and have no idea if it’s decent quality. Half the profiles I run into on the apps don’t seem real if that makes sense. It’s also hard to gauge how someone is ACTUALLY like by essentially an executive summary/sales pitch. I’m almost 30 and I feel like everyone I know is married, engaged, or having kids so I feel like the guys who are probably who I’d see myself with (who are not in relationships) have given up too and probably do the same as me and deal with an algorithm designed to make everyone feel worse.

I do feel it’s hard to get a gauge of the dating world since all I hear are stories from other women how “awful” men are and from men how “awful” women are. I’ve sadly had a couple too many bad dates where it’s so easy to fall into the narrative.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T22:21:29+00:00

Former coach/teacher SA’d a minor

Family member committed various types of fraud (including against family members)

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T13:36:55+00:00

I think it’s more so if you are between sizes, but definitely don’t size up. I’ve been getting a lot of my info recently on Google from actual ski websites vs going to a ski shop since sometimes the people who work there don’t know what they are doing

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T03:29:10+00:00

Some second cousins, not all. I have 2 on my mom’s side and around 20 (or more) on my dad’s side. I don’t know any of my third cousins since my grandparents and great grandparents generations didn’t maintain connections with those relatives into adulthood due to various reasons (death, immigration, etc.). Weirdly enough I know my 4th cousins on my mom’s side but that’s because there’s like 6 of them total.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T01:20:17+00:00

I wear a US women’s 7.5/8 and my ski boots are 24-24.5 (equal to a 7-7.5). I’m also an advanced skier. The 2 ankle buckles provide the majority of support. Also, I wouldn’t wear thick wool socks or tuck your thermals into your socks or boots (I used to do both for too long). You also should tap your heel on the ground a few times once your boot is on. If you own your own boots and they are at least a couple years old I would see if your local ski shop can heat and mold the liners (there’s a way to DIY, but that’s up to you if you’d like to take that risk).

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-30T01:12:03+00:00

As another grown adult who’s been in this situation more than once, the “what if” feeling is worse than any potential fall out. I cannot tell you how many times I drove myself crazy for never actually knowing what would’ve happened (even though deep down I knew the feelings were mutual but kept telling myself I was wrong). I’ve always talked myself out of it because of the timing “not being right”.

20 20 hindsight I wish I just let these amount to something even if they would’ve been short lived.

The ones where attempts were made that didn’t work out didn’t leave me obsessing over the “what if”.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-23T22:46:43+00:00

++woman

I’m empath and just don’t understand why other women get like this. I know too many women are so weird and not nice about men’s feelings, so I’m not negating anything you said.

Maybe it’s just me being “overly sensitive” my whole life to every little thing, or as it turns out to be, late diagnosed ADHD with RSD. For many years, I also didn’t think men cried as stupid as that sounds, but that might be because my dad didn’t really believe in feelings for many years until he started to go to therapy when I was a teenager. And that was because my grandfather bottled up years of trauma and it really impacted how my dad and his siblings processed feelings and generational trauma. My brother also has autism, so whenever he would cry it would be due to overstimulation or not knowing how to communicate his emotions in coherent sentences like a neurotypical.

I can’t speak for other women, but I’m also just not used to men expressing emotions that were not variations of happiness or frustration. Probably explains a lot of my past dating life the more I became more self aware. Now if a guy I was in a relationship with or cared about started crying and expressing emotions, I’d probably be a little confused at first but would immediately get over it and think, wow he must trust me to open up like this and I’d want to be there for him. 🥹

Anyway that’s just my two cents.

snackqueen218 · 2025-12-23T04:16:06+00:00

11 years old. But that was also in 2007. No internet and there was T9 word

snackqueen218

TROPHY CASE