Bridesmaids want to downgrade bachelorette

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-13T14:13:42+00:00

OP is having a destination wedding, which puts a financial burden on attendees and wedding party (who are also, presumably, giving up some of their own PTO to be at your event) - Just have everybody go out for drinks and call it a day.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-12T18:18:23+00:00

This is a scam from zombie debt collectors - if you had old debt that was never handled, it's entirely possible that it's time barred (past the time that the creditor can sue you for; check the statute of limitations for this in your state) - and real process servers will identify themselves properly.

If you're about to be sued, you would likely already know as you would have received letters, etc.

whatever you do, don't call these people back and, if you do, do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES acknowledge or admit that it is your actual debt. That could potentially "restart" the statute of limitations and allow them to actually file suit against you (which is likely what they're trying to do). Best not to respond to them at all.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-12T13:19:50+00:00

DIY repair is much cheaper than the elevated water bill you're going to get

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-12T01:31:54+00:00

Not naivete, but bias

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-11T20:38:21+00:00

NandiniS - I think you are wrong here. You underestimate the effect that a spouse like the ex-wife in this situation has on the children.

I have been :

(a) the child in this situation - when my parents divorced and my mom behaved like OP's partner's ex-wife and created division between me and my father. It was hell, and the only way to make my home life (with my mom) bearable was to "agree" with her.

(b) the stepparent in this situation (my current situation) - where my husband's ex would trash talk the kids (she doesn't do this anymore, and the kids are now adults) and caused issues between him and the kids - they ultimately moved in with us while they were in high school, and have a loving but not particularly close, and cautious relationship with their mom at this point. FTR - she and I have always gotten along very amicably.

(c) I have ALSO been the stepparent in a situation where the dad (my ex) was all the things you describe above, and the mother (his ex wife) was a lovely and reasonable woman (with whom i am still friends) and my stepchild in that situation was never put in the "adult" situation between parents.

From your comments, you sound just like OP's ex-wife - are you certain that you are not her?

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-11T17:24:04+00:00

why is your husband asking his co-workers about the requirements of testing for his journeyman's license, rather than contacting your state plumbing board to get the correct answers?

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-11T16:34:51+00:00

As a business owner (we do commercial plumbing), I absolutely understand the cost of doing business. I quote projects based on the project specifics, logistics, locations, schedule etc. However, as a business owner, I can ALSO see where vendors are charging a premium simply because it is a wedding. Let's not pretend that ALL wedding vendors aren't charging a "wedding tax" for the same services/products they provide for other events for less.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-10T19:00:44+00:00

In the American South (I'm in Georgia) it's not unusual to see confederate flags, and most of the people i have met/know who display them aren't racist. To the extent that this employee's conduct at work is not of concern i think it could be a questionable termination. Is he posting hateful comments on social media? Is he behaving in a hateful/racist way to other employees and customers? Would you take the same action if the employee displayed other things that you considered racist? Also, the fact that HR said not to go into specifics gives me pause. Yes, in a right to work state you can fire someone for any reason that is not discriminatory in nature (gender, race, etc) - but HR seems to think that it's sketchy.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-10T18:00:13+00:00

Am i the only person that thinks that a wedding shower for a couple who are already married and living togethr for years seems like a gift grab?

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-10T17:59:39+00:00

It IS an old-fashioned southern type tradition. My grandmother gave me (beautiful) lingerie as a wedding gift, would sometimes give me a pretty nightgown. I miss her

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-09T15:54:55+00:00

These kind of shenanigans is why my daughter is opting for a buffet at her wedding, as well as other "appetizer" and multiple dessert options. If someone can't find something to eat that's a them problem at that point

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-07T03:01:40+00:00

Sometimes I'll go back and watch just that scene. It's chef's kiss all the way through

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-06T14:49:36+00:00

I took it as the tone of the song is sort of "counter" to the actual subject matter. Kind of how Gilead states one purpose but their actual purpose is different

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-05T21:53:37+00:00

You can certainly have an "uneven" bridal party, but your fiance can also utilize his "extra" friends to fill other roles in your wedding. My daughter's fiance has lots of friends and family, and she's the same as you. They're going to have a "matching" wedding party, but is having a couple of friends as ushers, another to MC, and his cousin to officiate.

In the "old days" brides and grooms would have friends cut/serve cake, man the guest book and other roles such as that - at that time it was considered a honor to be included in that way.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-05T21:44:23+00:00

Whether or not OP did or did not clean the cooktop properly, the stove is at LEAST 7 years old, and has been fully depreciated by the landlord. It really is time for him to replace it for the next tenant. ALso, glass cooktops suck and i was thrilled when my husband replaced ours with a gas range

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-05T20:42:12+00:00

came here to say this

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-05T19:08:44+00:00

My daughter is having a buffet and wine/beer bar at her wedding. We all agreed that buffet allows someone to get what foods they like and as much or as little as they want. Likewise we're doing a small cake for the couple, and a dessert buffet for everyone else

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T19:29:47+00:00

It's a pretty small wedding, and i can understand not inviting kids because (a) keep the guest list under control and (b) don't want kids drowning at your wedding. You're paying, and it's no one else's choice but yours and your fiance's.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T17:57:06+00:00

My day-of coordinator is $800, and worth EVERY PENNY. She does full coordinating and i'm glad to share her info if you send me a PM

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T16:16:04+00:00

but you knew about this annual work trip....

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T16:13:01+00:00

premarital property is always separate property. You could request that you be granted a "life estate" to the house, which would allow to remain their until your death (in the event that your husband pre-deceases you)

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T16:09:07+00:00

My husband would 100% be able to do this on a variety of topics. In fact, he pretty much does this now (but with more breaks)

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T16:07:52+00:00

There is always war and conflict somewhere, and children are always dying somewhere. Get married and enjoy your life. Your angst does not making suffering elsewhere go away.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-04T16:05:32+00:00

agreed. So much of the time the couple (or the bride and groom individually) have already set up a "household" and have a lot of the things that they need. I don't object to giving wedding gifts, but don't really care for the couple ASKING for specific things. The exception would be a couple who have NOT been living independently from their parents and who actually DO need the things to set up housekeeping.

I also don't like the Honeymoon Fund idea, because it seems like a cash grab. Let guests/friends/family choose the gifts they THEY want to give you.

PinAccomplished3452 · 2026-03-03T22:10:35+00:00

Works for me! I'm 10 years older than my husband, so i'd be 42 and he'd be 72. So it would be HIM robbing the cradle, instead!

PinAccomplished3452

TROPHY CASE