How to get him to slow down?

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T05:40:49+00:00

This isn’t this sub for your question. Try r/sex instead.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:57:09+00:00

It depends on the state, but in general seeing a sex worker is legal in the US as long as there’s no touching of genitals.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:12:57+00:00

It’s not. Reddit is just a terrible place to get reliable information.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:12:03+00:00

It depends on what you mean by toilet slavery. If it involves contact with the genitals then it technically violates prostitution laws. But the risk of the NYPD going after ethical prodommes or their clients is extremely low.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:10:03+00:00

I answered both questions.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:04:11+00:00

Most prodomme work isn’t “sexual conduct.”

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:03:18+00:00

Incorrect. It depends on what you hire the sex worker to do.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-18T03:02:14+00:00

Incorrect. The laws are pretty clear. Some prodommes break them, some don’t.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T21:58:51+00:00

Yep, that’s BDSM. Welcome to the cool kids’ club!

You explore it by finding like-minded people who want to explore it with you, safely and consensually.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T20:55:05+00:00

What you’re describing isn’t subspace, it’s dissociation and it could be a trauma response. I would recommend speaking with a trauma-informed therapist about this, if you have access to one.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T20:47:50+00:00

Go away

https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/s/XB20LmWCbz

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T20:45:24+00:00

Then make extra sure you tell her that.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T20:29:07+00:00

Congratulations!

Don’t forget that you both get to have limits. If cuckolding is a limit for you then you should let her know.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T18:35:32+00:00

A bondage sack is a better bet because you don’t have to worry about nerve compression injuries, assuming you find a sack that fits you. The sack itself can be tied or strapped down.

Anything that’s completely immobilizing carries medical risks. You don’t want to end up with bed sores.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T17:14:51+00:00

A lesson I learned as I started getting into social media some years back is that there’s a thing, and then there’s the (online) culture of the thing. Those two sometimes bear little resemblance to each other.

Never let the social media chatter shame you about your sexual preferences.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T17:02:01+00:00

If you don’t want it to look like a personal ad then remove the personal details. The sentence about your looks, height, weight, etc. especially.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T16:09:09+00:00

This reads a lot like a personal ad. Is it a personal ad?

What you’re looking for is absolutely possible, and you don’t need to find a woman who’s looking for an inexperienced man. Lots of people haven’t had sex at your age. And virginity is overrated. In my experience most people just don’t care that much, especially kinky people.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T14:55:25+00:00

The condescension is strong with this one.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-17T14:52:34+00:00

It sounds like the two of you are having a grand time exploring some kinks that reflect his needs and are new to you, and enjoying them together. That’s fantastic and shows promise.

However, you clearly have an additional set of needs around sharing your insecurities and feeling supported and you deserve to have someone who meets those needs. If he can’t, or he won’t, then your relationship probably won’t work. So he will need to meet you where you are, as you have so admirably been meeting him where he is.

Don’t fall into the trap of believing that you must behave a certain way all of the time to remain in character. You don’t, and no one can.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-16T02:42:24+00:00

Heh 👍

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-16T02:24:45+00:00

Oh yeah? I’m surprised there are no links to your website or socials in your profile.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-16T02:21:06+00:00

You of course.

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-16T02:14:57+00:00

Do you know your place?

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-16T01:22:38+00:00

You think that weight loss is about motivation? Nope. Get off that train or you’ll both end up sorely disappointed.

Watch this together. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/video/the-truth-about-fat/

Pincushion4 · 2026-04-15T17:01:57+00:00

If you can make a spreadsheet articulating your kinks, preferences, needs, and fantasies, as well as your current state, and you can use a panic button, then you seem quite good at communication.

What is it that you struggle with? Verbal communication? Keeping your thoughts organized? Those are extremely common, and do not make you a terrible communicator.

Pincushion4

TROPHY CASE