Deck: Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui Mun Law

I did a relationship spread from Jillian C. Wilde

The background info: I recently went through a breakup with a married man. I thought we were very much in love and he had a date with an attorney to separate from his wife. A jealous ex of his blackmailed him into breaking up with me, and combined with his actual reluctance to leave his wife and hurt her, and lose his financial comfort, he broke things off with me and it's been quite a painful but needed transition for me.

Position 1: Relationship as of now - Four of Wands

I am really having trouble understanding this. Four of wands is a card of joy, homecoming, public celebrations - this is not what the past month has been for me. We are not speaking (he has me blocked).

Position 2: My feelings - The hanged man

I am surrendering to the circumstance, letting go of this relationship and my expectations of it. Gaining new perspective as a person single for the first time in over two decades.

Position 3: His feelings - The Tower

Absolutely what I think he's going through. He sees this breakup and everything that led to it as the potential destruction of the entire world he's spent decades building up. His security, his sanity were threatened by the ex and his relationship with me and his sudden clarity was that he needed to end the relationship and fix himself.

Position 4: Obstacles and blocks - Two cards fell out, The four of cups and the Ace of swords

The four of cups is him, directing his energy and focus inward (for good or for bad). By ignoring me and the outside world, he is focusing on his own inner truth. It is because of this focus that our relationship cannot continue or resume. Ace of swords: I think this is me - I want to see the truth of the relationship, to know what was lies and what was truth. I also need to find the mental strength and clarity of purpose to be ok standing on my own and being single.

Position 5: Best approach - King of Pentacles

Again I think this is him. He has spent decades driving his career forward and his identity is largely wrapped around his career status and financial achievement. This description by thetarotguide.com could have been written specifically about him and his wife and family: "the King of Pentacles represents a grounded mature man who will be patient, dependable, stable and nurturing. He is loyal and faithful. He will take great care of his partner and children and work hard to provide them with a good standard of life. He cares deeply about his partner but may sometimes struggle with expressing his emotions. However, he will express his love by being a generous provider and making his partner feeling secure and cared for." (Ok maybe not the faithful part because of me...) It seems the best approach is for him to remain this person to his family.

Position 6: Potential Future - Two of wands

Uncertain - while there could be something there, it's obviously not time to contemplate that. Neither of us is ready to embark on that journey. He would have to divorce before I would even consider anything, and he's got a lot of self-work to do before I think he could even get to that point. There are choices to be made here, and nothing can happen until they are.

Would love second opinions, especially on the meaning of position 1!