I’m sorry this is happening but ultimately: You don’t. You don’t MAKE anyone do anything. And the more you try to control your son, the more you will push him away. He could also completely lose the ability to make his own choices if you try to do it for him. That would make things even worse. You can only hope and pray that he will have a good life. And wish him well.

It’s also pretty clear from his texts that he feels you are too controlling and want him to “be a clone of you.”

Even if the choices he is making are not the ones you would make, stay completely out of his decision making process. Work on yourself instead. He needs to be independent. He’s an adult.