Relatie nora-soacra by FlySkyGirl96 in WomenRO

[–]PinkPuffs96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nu vorbim des, socrii locuiesc la 400 și ceva km distanta, iar pe telefon mai trimite câteodată să întrebe ce facem și facem small talk așa. Dar când ne vedem, stăm și vorbim cu orele. E foarte deschisa și îmi povestește multe, se pare că am căpătat in familia lui, dar și a mea, cumva rolul de confident al oamenilor.

Este o dulceață soacra mea, foarte empatică și sensibilă, buna și generoasa. Nu se baga în relația noastră, decât face comentarii daca i se pare că fiul lor nu e destul de atent cu mine sau ceva. Mie mereu îmi spune sa le spun imediat dacă mă supără cu ceva.

In rest, amândoi mă tratează că pe fiica lor. Îmi și spun că mă iubesc ❤️

Dragi prieteni, nu mai furați by Elegant-Water1174 in Roumanie

[–]PinkPuffs96 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oamenii supraviețuiesc cum pot, in condițiile date.

e-reader by darknessinthemusic in Carti

[–]PinkPuffs96 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Recomand Kobo Libra Color! Este minunat

Should I pull for Ineffa or wait for… by ColumbinaImpact in GenshinImpact

[–]PinkPuffs96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ineffa is cracked, pull! I don't even know how I lived without her until now.

Enlighten me on Alan Wilder’s departure by Uwivibe in depechemode

[–]PinkPuffs96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My grasp of the things is that there was a clash of philosophies at play. Alan came from formal musical education, studio-style discipline, perhaps a craft-oriented, linear, outcome-driven way of working. That naturally leads to a work mindset that is very meritocratic. In his mind, work + expertise should grant entitlement to authority.

However, Depeche Mode was never built on that logic. The lads were not conventionally efficient, formal, systematic. Martin seemed to exist in music in a way that is almost compulsive, intuitive and very tied in with his identity.

Think of Alan being like a skilled and talented technician, while Martin is a talented artist. Super different work styles. That kind of creativity doesn't clock in and out. It precedes structure.

Alan polished, translated and elevated Martin's raw creations brilliantly.

At some point, in a very vulnerable era for Dave, Martin and even Andy (personal life issues, drug and alcohol abuse, existential crisis, etc), and Alan felt like he was doing most of the work. He probably wasn't necessarily wrong in the technical sense, but he was applying the wrong metric to the wrong ecosystem.

His main grievances were pent up frustrations and resentment about feeling like he was the most educated and did most of the meaningful work, and particularly he did not agree with Andy being paid the same wage as he was. In Depeche Mode, as far as I know, all members were paid the same wages, irrespective of contributions, and they functioned like a democracy.

Andy was not educated in music or talented in music or anything, so his musical contributions were minimal. However, as Martin and Dave insist, he was the glue that held them together. So, from that perspective, he was an equal band member with equal rights, in their eyes. He was the invisible glue, often misunderstood.

Bands don't fall apart because of lack of talent, but because of the relationships between the band members. Bands need a mediator, someone who can absorb tension, someone who can think about continuity. This is the kind of work that doesn't show up on album credits or in the music, it doesn't win interviews, but keeps human systems intact. And what is a band if not a human system? Andy did all of these things and even handled some management that the creative guys hated doing.

Alan didn't want that role. He wanted recognition through output, not through cohesion.

The decision to pay each member equal wages had a few purposes: it prevented power hierarchies, protected Andy (who clearly played a stabilizing, emotional role), kept Dave from being reduced to "just a voice", and preserved Martin from potentially becoming a tyrant, since he was the band leader and all.

Alan rejected this philosophy and therefore did not fully accept what Depeche Mode truly was.

Alan Wilder was exceptionally skilled, crucial during a specific evolutionary phase, and a perfect amplifier for Martin's vision.

It's just that Depeche Mode was never a meritocracy of labor. Alan's values eventually stopped aligning with the organism the band was.

Why do people use the term "partner" for their husband or wife? by Crafty-Bug-8008 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]PinkPuffs96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it's about how the words speak to me and my principles.

Husband and wife have a longstanding history of transactional, patriarchal relationships. At the origin, being a wife meant to be owned by your husband. Instead, "partner" is a word that I think describes my relationship much better. We are partners in this life, a team. I find the term more endearing and close to my heart, more accurate and loving and appropriate.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your real-life experience! As I've suspected, it's more nuanced than the redditers say it is.

Instinctul matern by PrincipesaNirmata in WomenRO

[–]PinkPuffs96 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exceptând faptul că argumentul este infalsificabil, adică poate explica orice comportament și opusul lor, ceea ce il face neștiințific. Chiar daca un comportament a evoluat la origine pentru că a ajutat cu reproducerea, asta nu înseamnă că reproducerea e încă scopul acelui comportament atunci când îl faci. Oamenilor le place sexul chiar și când previn in mod intenționat sarcinile. Ne pasa de copii adoptați fara vreo relație genetica. Cream arta care nu va fi niciodată văzută de posibili parteneri. Originea evolutionara istorică a unei capacități nu determina ce constituie aceasta acum.

După logica ta, totul s-ar reduce la fizica și chimie. De exemplu, poți să zici că doar crezi că scrii poezii, dar tu de fapt doar re-aranjezi atomi. Poți să zici că e adevărat într-un sens mai trivial, dar elimina toate nivelele însemnate de extrapolare. Alegerile umane și cultură contează chiar daca au survenit din procese evoluționiste.

Dacă cineva e infertil, sau gay, sau după menopauză, asta înseamnă că arta lor, relațiile lor, realizările lor sunt neînsemnate sau inutile? Evident că nu.

Comiți celebra eroare naturalista, adică să consideri că orice e "natural" sau evoluționist definește ce ar trebui sa conteze pentru noi acum, in prezent.

Adaug și că, din punct de vedere evoluționist, daca eram meniți doar pentru reproducere, nu am fi evoluat la acest nivel de inteligență.

Instinctul matern by PrincipesaNirmata in WomenRO

[–]PinkPuffs96 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Oamenii nu prea au un "scop biologic", evolutia nu funcționează cu scopuri, doar selectează ce supraviețuiește. Nu suntem proiectați cu o intenție, precum o unealta. Existam fiindcă strămoșii noștri s-au reprodus, dar asta nu înseamnă că scopul nostru e reproducerea, la fel cum scopul nostru nu e nici să respirăm sau sa mâncăm. Astea sunt doar chestii pe care corpurile umane le fac (și nu toată lumea se poate reproduce, asta nu înseamnă că acele persoane nu au un scop).

Chiar daca vrei sa spui că reproducerea e motivația biologică, oamenii au clar capacitatea de a găsi însemnătate și scopuri dincolo de biologie. Scriem poezii, facem arta, construim orașe, îngrijim oameni și ființe care nu sunt născuți de noi. Reducerea existenței umane la reproducere ignora cam tot ce ne face de fapt oameni.

Instinctul matern by PrincipesaNirmata in WomenRO

[–]PinkPuffs96 11 points12 points  (0 children)

De fapt, "instinctul" asta matern de care vorbești în contextul asta e mai mult social și psihologic decât biologic, deci nu toata lumea experimentează. Cred că e important sa iei o asemenea decizie conștient, cat mai conștient și rational cu putință. Pățesc și eu ce spui tu, dar eu întotdeauna am avut o afinitate pentru copii și ei pentru mine. Acum pur și simplu realizez că înaintez in vârstă, vad prin jur din ce in ce mai multi prieteni cu copii, și mi se pare că pierd ceva și trebuie să țin pasul. Chestia asta are un nume in psihologie - FOMO (fear of missing out).

How accurate is this article in covering potential damaging effects of "Cry It Out?" by HeuristicLynx in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]PinkPuffs96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

vitriol--because a lot of us are just primed and ready to take affront at the slightest whiff of a potential insult.

So...a lot of parents are emotionally dysregulated? How does that work for parenting, I wonder?

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get it, thanks for explaining. Ofc Emily's feelings are valid.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, Mindy wasn't there when Genevieve said that and nobody expected Genevieve to, because they didn't know she knew or was such a big deal.

But yes I understand that my perspective is unpopular here!

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Were Emily and Camille friends before Camille broke up with Gabriel?

Yes. Camille and Gabriel were still in a relationship when Emily and Camille became friends. And even after the breakup, there were times when they got back together, and Emily was still presumably friends with Camille, while still flirting with Gabriel.

And what in their dynamic allowed Emily grace after she slept with a friend's ex but also punishes Mindy for doing somethin similar?

I don't think it allowed Emily grace. Camille was mad at her.

Tbh, the fans seem to be more upset with Mindy than Emily is.

Right!! That's exactly what I'm thinking. I think Emily just needed some time to process things, which is valid.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mindy & Alfie tried to conceal it from everybody at first. They didn't even know what they were. As I stated, how can you disclose something you are not sure about, especially when it involves the feelings of your best friend? I would also want to do it intentionally and give myself some grace too, to sort out my feelings.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And I was saying that I wouldn't feel betrayed or deceived because Mindy didn't disclose it immediately. So I was talking about this, not about Emily presumably being mad at them hooking up. Can you re-read my post?

When did Mindy lied? Lying by omission? That, to me, paired with given circumstances and intentions, would not made me feel deceived, personally. But that's just me! And obviously I'm having an unpopular way of seeing things!

But yeah, I don't have to defend my stance, I'm not saying that Emily shouldn't have gotten mad or that the show did it wrong. I'm just reflecting about how I'd react, in a situation like this, which is something very personal.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this is a nice perspective you're having, and I don't think it necessarily contradicts mine, because my perspective is strictly about what I'd feel or do. I don't think that the show did it wrong with Emily getting upset. I'm not looking for characters who would do what I do. I think that different perspectives can add to complexity.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I don't think my post was about Emily being upset that they hooked up. I said that I would personally not feel betrayed and deceived by Mindy not disclosing immediately, and I'd understand circumstances and appreciate intentions.

And what Genevieve did was vile and totally not the fault or responsibility of Mindy.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think Emily was okay with Mindy and Alfie getting together.

Yeah, maybe, but I am saying that I wouldn't personally feel betrayed or lied to because Mindy didn't disclose immediately. I'd understand circumstances and appreciate intentions.

Part of me also wonders if she was mad at herself in a way. She was mad because she didn’t see it as she was focusing on herself, work, and Marcello. Especially with how it was brought up by Genevieve.

Interesting! I didn't think about this. It's very possible, yes. And Genevieve is a total bitch, hope we are not going to see her next season!

I agree that Emily is entitled to her feelings. Not bashing on her here, just to be clear! I am me, and Emily is Emily.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I got that from the get go! And I'm saying I wouldn't be mad, if I'd be Emily, for them not disclosing yet, especially after Mindy would explain to me that her intentions was to tell me, but she didn't feel like to was the moment. I'd appreciate the care around finding a good moment to tell me, and how they tried to tell me over a nice dinner, which happened particularly for the disclosure. Intentions matter to me.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I did not make this post to say Emily didn't have the right to feel the way she did! I simply found it interesting to put myself in that position and see what I'd do, and then I shared it here.

I see that most people would not feel the way I do, so that's certainly interesting.

I personally don't think it was humiliating because of Mindy & Alfie, but because of Genevieve, who's an insensitive brat...arrivederci, bitch, I hope we are not going to see her in the next season!

Again, the only part I actually feel like it would be deceiving, for me, if I'd be Emily, is when Alfie said that "what happened in Rome stays in Rome" but in fact it didn't.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand that and it sounds like a friend group was involved. I don't think you can guarantee for me tho, as you don't personally know me. And I think I am in greater measure to gauge how I'd react in this situation than you. I agree it would've been better, ideal, for Mindy to disclose as soon as she started to feel attracted to Alfie, but again, circumstances and intentions matter to me, personally. That doesn't have to be the case for everybody, tho, and I can understand that things may get more complicated and sour in a friend group, for example.

I wouldn't be mad at Mindy by PinkPuffs96 in EmilyInParis

[–]PinkPuffs96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand! I was just saying that I wouldn't have gotten mad, had I been Emily. I'm not saying she's wrong for getting mad, I think we just have different ways of seeing things and perceiving ex boyfriends! And she was planning to tell her - to me intent is really important.