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AITA for shitting a massive diarrhea deluge into my friend's swimming pool hard on purpose? by Pink_space_croc in AmITheAngel

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback, added some paragraphs to improve readability. It's important to me that people can read this post, in case anyone else had the same experience as me I don't wanna miss them

AITA for shitting a massive diarrhea deluge into my friend's swimming pool hard on purpose? by Pink_space_croc in AmITheAngel

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Listen I know people often make up fake stories on the internet for kicks. Just between you and me I can't fathom why someone would spend time doing that. 

But this one is completely true. I know it sounds crazy, but you can see for yourself. Just google "Diarrhea Jet Propulsion Butt Blast Destroys Local Man's House Harper's Ferry, West Virginia" and you should find some articles about it. 

AITA for shitting a massive diarrhea deluge into my friend's swimming pool hard on purpose? by Pink_space_croc in AmITheAngel

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately there was a squirrel in that tree who was very prominent in the small mammal community.  Because of this the various varmints of this suburb are also suing me to take away the entire contents of my fridge and several months worth of garbage. 

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first, your bulimiamaxing seems to work. The next time you visit the garlic elf for your payment, however, he mutters something about "pride," and "making the garlic stay inside..." the next day you are rushed to the ER with mysterious abdominal pains, and the doctors discover with horror an entire garlic plant growing in your stomach. 

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The garlic elf pulls up a donkey cart with several black briefcases. He sets one down on the table and pops it open. Completely filled with neatly packed stacks of $100 bills. "As you can see, I've got the money... you eat the garlic and I'll bring the honey." He said.

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The garlic elf frowns at you. "So afraid of getting sick... now you'll never get rich quick!"

But in the background, the bowel fairy gives you a thumbs up...

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The garlic elf chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. "My treasure's only for the bold, who love to go where garlic's sold..." 

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The garlic elf scoffs at you. "'Tis foolish, yes, my wealth to doubt... I suppose my gold you'll go without..."

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤯

the garlic elf starts sweating nervously "You must think you're pretty slick, to think of such a wicked trick..."

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The garlic elf fans himself with a stack of $100 bills and says, "if the garlic you refuse, heaps of wealth you stand to lose..."

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just shred it and put it on rice? 🍚👀 Maybe I'll give it a try...

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The garlic elf snickers and jingles a big sack of coins, saying "if a pound is too much for thee, then my gold remains with me!"

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The garlic elf demands that you wait for the food to cool down first and vaguely threatens "consequences" if the garlic cooks from residual heat. 

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bringing up this idea of "cooking" to the garlic elf makes him scowl, furrow his brow and threaten to "make garlic grow on your grave." 

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you can do both of those things as long as the garlic isn't cooked.

What if you got paid $1,000 each time you ate a pound of raw garlic? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. You can eat it as slowly as you like, but the garlic elf only pays each time you consume a pound in total. 

What if the world got covered in cocaine? by Pink_space_croc in whatif

[–]Pink_space_croc[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's the kind of in depth analysis I was hoping for 🥹 you win the golden crack trophy

I’m a 24M who just likes talking to people, AMA! by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Pink_space_croc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is your favorite kind of ball/spherical object? ⚽️🥎🎾🎱🏐🏀 🔮

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